Ok..I know this may sound bad..but I need an answer. I have been best friends with this girl for like 6 years. She recently became best friends with this boy. We have been hanging out (all 3 of us) and I think I'm starting to fall in love with him. I can't sleep, I can't think (about anything except him) and I am scared to tell her how I feel. I don't want to hurt her (because she really likes him too....but her parents won't let her date him). Please help! I don't want to lose my best friend!!! Please....give me serious answers...and soon!!!!!
2006-08-23 05:00:55 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Ok..I'm adding these details based on the answers I have read. To all of you that say "get over him"....I can't! I just plain can't!!!! I also want to thank all of you that have answered seriosly...Because this is a serious problem and I really need to figure out what to do and quick!! I do now want to lose my best friend!
2006-08-23 05:09:22 · update #1
Ok..I'm adding these last details because I want to let you guys know that this isn't a normal "best friend" relationship. We are so close it's scary...we are like sisters...we argue like sisters,we fight like sisters...but we don't tell each other everything. And also my best friend is soo sensitive. If I told her it would hurt her...but this feeling is hurting me. I can't stop thinking about this guy!!! Omg..I mean I'm in tears now...Please I need more answers!!!!
2006-08-23 05:13:35 · update #2
First of all, let me tell you a little something based on over a dozen romantic screw-ups: you're not currently in love. You're currently in obsession. Love is what's still there after all this "can't sleep can't think" crap finally fades away.
Second of all, kudos to you for realizing that this could put your friendship at risk, and that losing your friend might not be worth it. This is better than many people do, myself included at one point.
Third, don't forget that if you date this boy and it doesn't work out, you probably lose him as a friend too. This happened to me when I was 15-ish - my best friend and I fought over a boy, and I "won", except that it didn't last and then I didn't have either of them. It was totally not worth it!
If you genuinely feel the need to talk to your best friend about this (and honestly, I would first advise attempting to get a grip on yourself without talking to her), consider confessing to her that you need to get over this boy. Bring up the issue in a context of "I know my feelings could possibly jeopardize our friendship, so I need to get my feelings under control." Who knows? She may decide she needs to join you in this obsession-banishing ritual and get on with her life rather than pining over somebody she's not allowed to date. (And just to squish your hope right now: no, she's not going to say "Oh, well, you know I can't date him anyway, so you can have him". If she does, it's a trap. Seriously.)
2006-08-23 05:18:50 · answer #1 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal that u feel attracted to the same gay your best friend does that's way you are best friends because u ave allot of things in common but that doesn't mean that u should try anything and telling her will only make things worst because if she really likes this guy and things and up working between them your relationship is going 2 suffer just get a hold of your self and think wats more important 2 you
2006-08-23 05:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your best friend and he is her best friend and you are all friends, don't do it. It will just begin the end of the friendship between she and you; he and her and all of you together will feel the negative effects of your actions. Sounds like you guys are on the younger side and many men will come and go at this point in your lives. Friends will last a lifetime.
2006-08-23 05:04:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been friends for 6 years. You should be able to talk to her about anything. Who knows this might help the friendship out in the long run. And is it really worth while though to. Could be. Just play your cards right.
2006-08-23 05:05:00 · answer #4 · answered by katie_etheredge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wouldn't let a guy come inbetween my best friend and I...especially if she liked him too! I would try to get over it...does he like you too?? Because if you say you are falling in love with him he must be shooting you lots of signals. I would just stay friends with them both and not let anything get inbetween you! You sound pretty young, I am sure you will find another guy!
2006-08-23 05:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you KNOW she likes him, and you pursue this, YOU WILL LOSE HER AS YOUR FRIEND... So weight the choices carefully.... lose your friend and possibly get a boyfriend or get rejected by him. Or keep your friend and find another boyfriend. Let me tell you something VERY important... You are obviously young, and this guy is NOT going to be the one you end up with... So why ruin a great friendship???
2006-08-23 05:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if i was in ur place i would ask the guy if he likes ur friend more than a friend and if he says no than ask him if he has someone else in his mind and if he still says no than first tell ur girlfriend how u feel and if it bothers her then u can take a risk and lose a friend and have a chance with this guy..its hard sometimes but if u stay silent nothing will ever be solved
2006-08-23 05:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by ghettofabulous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out how the guy feels first, and then if he feels the same way well your friend will have to understand that, if not then forget it, cause persuing someone that doesn't feel the same way isn't worth loosing a friend over.
2006-08-23 05:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do it and your friendship is out the window. can anybody give me the definition of friendship. i know it's not to hurt your friend and cause her pain. if she was really your best friend u would pull back find another guy and be done with it.
2006-08-23 05:10:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only think u should do is talk to her about your feelings..tell her the truth..if she really cares about you and you are best friends she will understand ...or at least she will tell you she doesnt agree..in that case u should give the guy up...there are plenty of them..good luck!
2006-08-23 05:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by deedee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋