I have been with my husband for 13 years - married for 5 of them. This past year he finished his medical residency and we moved back to our home town. Throughout the year he became extremely distant and said we needed time apart. When we arrived back in our home town - he left me. He said he needed time to think about things. Two days ago he told me he isn't coming back. Now he is out of the country for 3 months on a trip. I am unemployed here - he has given me adequate money to live. I have a job to go back to in our former community, but can't decide if I should stay - I can't get past the feeling that he may change his mind - or go, but that means returning to a community I only ever lived in because of him. He doesn't want to go to counselling, says he loves me but isn't in love with me and that he misses me. He says that there isn't someone else but at the very least I think he is interested in someone. I want to save this marriage but don't want to kid myself.
2006-08-23 04:41:43 · 8 answers · asked by whatdoesntkillus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has been very clear to you that it's over. Don't read into things, no is no and you are clinging into hope when there is none. He left and doesn't love you anymore.... what other sign do you need? How can you read this as "trying to get back together"? Come on!
Act appropiatley and find an attorney and start preparing for a life without him in a place where you have support of family or/and friends.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-23 04:47:18 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I think it's really over.
I think you should stay in your home town, after all it's yours and why should you move away to the old community just because he's in the same town. Find a job and begin your new life on your own.
Sorry that it's been 13 years and you feel like you must start all over again. You must have given him so much over the years, support, love... *sigh*
Good luck to you.
2006-08-23 11:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by Mahira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. First time and you get right to it. As your avatar name indicates, you are familiar with the saying .... makes us stronger.
From the information presented, I think it best not to kid yourself as you appear to have already decided.
The question remains should you move, back to a community (with a job) that you only lived in originally to allow him to complete his residency.
Did he say he wanted a divorce? Get some alimony. You have been together a long time, and it would probably go your way in a family court. Then go anywhere, or stay in your hometown and do whatever you want. He has left you, and it sounds like his loss, not yours. Hold your head up, know your worth and be ready to move on AND UP!
Life is meant to be good.
2006-08-23 11:58:03 · answer #3 · answered by aggie_boyscout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to go through that. He's just not thinking about you is he? But I'm sorry to say that for it to happen that quick honey my first thought is that's he's got someone else. At the very least, he's got committment issues simply from how long it took him to marry you in the first place.
Either way, I say considering how inconsiderate he was in leaving you this way, you should do what you need to do. Live your life the way YOU see fit, live it for YOU and make youself happy first. IF he comes back, let him come to you for a change. Don't give in to him, honey. He left you; you're in control now. He's being very selfish right now; you have that right too. You have to take care of yourself first.
2006-08-23 11:51:04 · answer #4 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you. This is something you will have to dig deep in your heart to address. People online can tell you all sorts of things. Maybe you'll receive an answer that will suit you, somehow. I just see someone who simply wants to be free and maybe you should work on the same thing. Going back to where you can rebuild your life might just be the ticket. Who knows, perhaps he'll miss you so much, he'll want to come back to you.
2006-08-23 11:52:11 · answer #5 · answered by *~*~*~~~His Angel~~~*~*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a big USING, LYING, A$$HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Divorce this A$$HOLE! TAKE half!!!!! Sure, now that the $$$ is really going to be rolling in he has no use for YOU?!??!? IS THAT IT???
If it were me, I would be here looking for answers on where to hide the body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-23 12:06:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man has changed. divorce him and get half his assets.
2006-08-23 12:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him and come move in with me
2006-08-23 11:45:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋