Is there anything WRONG...?? (PLEASE HELP..GOOD ADVICE NEEDED)?

Question

Is there anything wrong having my one year old little girl sleeping in the bed with me? I am 22 years old and my daughter has been sleeping in the bed with me every since she was 4 months. My close family says it will create sleeping problems in the future. Like when she is older and its time for her to sleep in her one room and bed. Do think this is true? I am just a young mother in need of some good advice! The reason why I put her in my bed was because she had reflux when she we an infant and had to set up after every feed so I use to just prop up some pillows and put her on them and eventually feel asleep. She has since grown out of it and now it almost feels funny when I am sleeping by myslelf. Now its like I just want to be close to her if she chokes or wakes up in the middle of the night. She does go to daycare and they have no problems with putting her in her crib but at her fathers house they have problemes with putting her to sleep in her crib at night. What do you think?

Answer 1

Don't you hate all the unwanted advice you get as a young mother?! I say do what feels best to you. People don't give kids enough credit when it comes to adjusting to new things. I'll bet that once you put her in her own bed, she'll cry at first then fall right into the new routine.

Answer 2

She needs to sleep in her own bed. By not doing that, its harder for anyone to put her to sleep without being in the bed with her. What if you meet a guy? She'll dislike him that much more because he's the reason she'll get kicked out of your bed. Children need to learn how to sleep on their own, how to self comfort. I understand your reason when she was an infant, but she's not suffering reflux anymore. It will cause problems later because she's so used to having someone with her. Anyone you bring into your personal life will cause issues if she's still in your bed. I understand you love her, but sleeping together isn't bonding time, its just sleeping. And I bet her father would appreciate it too, since it means she'll sleep better at his house.

Answer 3

You may need to try and "ween" her from your bed. If it doesn't seem to be working then you will have to go "cold turkey." The child will probably have trouble later on sleeping for long periods of time. Help her to feel like a big girl and make it a big deal for her to sleep in her own room...ultimately this will be best for both of you..expecially if you ever want to have a relationship or possibly marry...if you wait until then to boot her out of your bed it will create major friction. Believe me...i understand about needing help...I was 21 with a one year old and needed all the advise i could get...he is 4 now and benefiting greatly from his own space.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong. She loves you and this is a time when she can be 'next to mommy'.. As she matures, she will want her privacy. When that happens, then maybe you can get her "OWN" bed and then you can sleep in her bed to calm her, to talk about the day... just YOUR time together. Then, let her know that you're leaving and going to your bed.

Don't worry about this. You have some good reasons to be a good parent (reflux, etc) so make sure she is safe... then you can discuss about independence. :)

Answer 5

That can cause problems i have a neice that will be 7 in october and a nephew that just turned 4 and they have both slept in the same bed as their parents since the day they brought them home from the hospital. Now if they wake up in the morning and cant find mommy or daddy anywhere in the bedroom they start crying. they refuse to sleep in their own beds and they both have their own bed rooms. and both have lots of stuff in their rooms. So yes it can cause problems with some kids.

Answer 6

You probably are just frightened because of what happened to her when she was little. There isn't really anything wrong with her sleeping with you but it probably will be a problem when you want her to go on her own. Try baby steps. Maybe putting a toddler bed in your room for a while and then moving her into her own room. That might make the trasition easier for both of you. Good luck.

Answer 7

Honestly, it will create problems in the future not only for your child, but for your relationship. She needs to start sleeping in her own bed soon. It will make it more difficult the longer you wait. It will make it harder to get her to sleep in her own room. If she doesn't begin sleeping in her room soon, you could end up with a 5 or 6 year old still sleeping in the bed. It will also really put a damper on your sex life with your spouse/boyfriend. Intamicy is important and it won't happen with her in the bed. Start putting her to sleep in her own bed.

Answer 8

I think they are thinking that it is going to be very difficult to get her to sleep in her own bed now that she is used to sleeping in your bed with you. Under the circumstances I can understand how this would happen. I think you are better off trying to get her into her own bed sooner rather than later if possible. It will only get tougher as she gets older. As for being worried about her in her own bed, just keep the baby monitor close by your bed so you can be sure she is doing OK in there. Good luck!

Answer 9

My daughter also had this problem with Reflux. She slept with me for 2yrs. She is now 4 and I have no problem with her going to her bed to sleep. I would not change it for the world. Everyone told me it was wrong and that she needed to be in her bed but it was what was best for us. No matter what others say remember its whats best for you and what works for your daughter.

Answer 10

I'm having this same problem now with my 2 1/2 year old son. When he started crawling out of his crib (shortly before he turned 2), we bought him a toddler bed, and he will not stay in it. When he first started doing this, we would put him in his bed at night and lie on the floor next to him until he drifted off to sleep (on an average night, this would take about 45 minutes). Eventually he just stopped doing this. As soon as we put him in his bed, he'd hop right out and run to the living room. I've heard to put him in his bed, turn out the lights, and leave the room. He's going to still come out, and every time he does, march him right back there and put him back in his bed. It doesn't matter if he does this 10 times or 100 times, just keep putting him back in his bed. The problem with this is, he has a younger brother (13 months old now) who is in his crib asleep every night by 8:30 p.m. (they share a room), and I can't see even trying to put my 2 1/2 year old to bed 100 times a night if all he's going to do is scream and wake his brother up. This would make EVERYONE miserable. So, since my husband works nights, I bring him to bed with me. Usually I wait until he falls asleep in my bed, then I get him up and carry him back to his room and put him in his bed. Almost every night at some point, he wakes up and comes back to my bed anyway, so some nights we just fall asleep at the same time and he stays there all night.

I really don't know what to do. I would love for him to fall asleep and stay asleep in his own bed, but he's just going to fight it and scream and keep his little brother awake, so what do I do? People have suggested putting his little brother to sleep in our room in his pack and play, which is fine, but he goes to sleep in his crib in his own room willingly, and I don't want to start a bad habit for him. I figure just about the time I get his older brother to go to bed and stay in bed in his own bed and room, I'll start putting him in his crib again and he'll be upset because he's become used to sleeping in his pack and play in our room. What to do?! If you have any advice, please help me out. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. :)