She wants to be with other women and me. I have not agreed as am not sure how it affects and impacts marriages in most cases. if anyone else has been in sililar situtation it would be great to have a discussion. Thanks
2006-08-23 03:04:52 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It's wrong. Your wife has made her commitment to you - sex with anyone else is a betrayal.
Even if you're all for it now, this can so easily backfire
My advice? Don't encourage this.
2006-08-23 03:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The only thing that would make this wrong is if you to don't agree on it. The only way it will work is if you two totally trust each other, and if you are not jealous people. Lots of couples do this. And there are men out there dieing to be in your shoes right now. If you want to do it first you need to set some rules. Let it be known what is acceptable and what is not right away. You have to be totally & completely honest with each other. If you can't do all that I'd forget about it. Your marriage is more important. You want to do things to improve your marriage not make it worse. I'm bisexual as well and I am married to a man. He knows that I am, but I have not been with a female sense I have been with him. I would love to add another woman to the mix, but I'm not going to do it if it could cause problems for us in the future. I have to concider whether my husband is attracted to her the same way I am. I have to concider what type of lifestyle she leads. It's not easy finding a thierd person you can trust. I have to consider the fact that both of us or one of us would get too attached to this third person. There are lots of things you have to take into consideration. But hey look at Heff. He's doing great and he has three girlfriends that all love him and each other very much. This works for them because they have an understanding. They always have sex together. They never sleep with any other people. They are all in a serious relationship. It's just a relationship that involves 4 people.
2006-08-23 06:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
the_mystic7,
I've not been in the situation. but I used to listen to Loveline on the radio, and it sounds like it's a bad thing. The reason why I say this is because there are followups at times, and the tendency is:
1) That the bi-sexual is liked to a person waving bye to the opposite sex.
2) That the relationship has been compromised in the case of monogamous relationships, typically resulting in divorce from marriage.
At least, that's what I got from the show.
2006-08-23 03:10:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm not sure about this.. how old if your wife? when did she realise she was Bi or is she just Bi curious?
I have a friend who is gay, but she is with a male partner.. i know this is strange.. but she would insist she isnt Bi..
I think this would have a very big impact on a marriage.. be careful it doesnt split you up... might sound like a good idea now but you wouldnt be saying that if she decided that she really wanted to be with another woman and didnt want you any more.
2006-08-23 03:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by confused 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean and frankly, I would be scared. I was never into the idea of 3 somes or the like. Marriage, to me, was a committment between two people who understood eachother. If you're scared let her know. She'll most likely just tell you its ok but she still wants to.
If it worries you that bad then don't do it. If you do it and you feel weird afterwards or she does or the relationship is weird... you can tell her you told her so. This is a mutual relationship and both people need to be on board here. Your wife is telling you what she wants to attempt, sexually, but if you're not ok with it then you have to sit down and talk about yourself and her and your sexual views and your views now that you're married.
Talking will solve this, I promise.
2006-08-23 03:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a right or wrong in this situation. It all depends on the individual. If you are not totally sure then I wouldn't do it, it would be disastrous for your relationship. You and your wife need to talk about it, only you can decide. If you entered your marriage with her knowing she liked women as well then you have to accept her as that.
2006-08-23 03:09:39 · answer #6 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep , I'm married ( 20 years ) wife told me she was Bi from day 1 , all i said that's as long as we still have a loving relation ship it's not a problem .... She has had a few Girl friends over the past 20 years , one lasted 6 years... and her feelings never came between us as a Married couple .
You should be glad your wife can talk to you about this , so give her some freedom , but you must have some ground rules..
Oh ... my advice is dont ask to join in .... ( cos one day you will say she is better then your wife ) ..and your world may well fall apart..
2006-08-23 21:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband was a complete di** about it and it has really had a negative effect on the marriage. If you cannot accept it then you should leave. I know from experience that bi-sexuality is not a choice. It's an unexplainable urge so if you cannot accept this part of your wife as such, then don't torture her with it. By torture I mean, my husband was like, "well if its okay for you to do it then it must be okay for me to do it too". He didnt' have the heart to put it that plainly, but his actions showed it. If you are not secure enough to trust your wife will not leave you for a woman, then tell her you are not sure you can handle it and if she insists it is something she wants to do, maybe you should separate while she lives out her bi-sexuality and reconcile if she decides she still wants to be with you.
2006-08-23 03:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by ushouldnoidontplay 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had a good friend whose wife was bi-sexual and wanted to invite other women into their bedroom. He agreed because he thought it would be great to have two women at once. The problem, he was a bystander and she soon left him and the kids and moved in with her new girlfriend. They ended up getting a divorce and he was left with kids.
Be careful, most often when a couple invites another person into their love lives, one feels left out and it causes alot of jealousy and hurt feelings that never heal.
2006-08-23 03:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by Bree 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong it is no different than if she wants to be with another man. You should have her see a counselor and find out what is really going on and get to the root of this problem. You are opening your marriage up to what could become a pretty messy situation. If she wanted to try other sexes she should have done that before she committed herself to you in marriage.
2006-08-23 03:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by barbie2 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with if you can handle it. Be prepared. Have you two discussed her possibly being with this woman and you are not around and vice versa. Are the both of you prepared for that? Have you dicussed what is and what isn't acceptable if you do engage in this activity. I think you both should have a real conversation about it and also with the person you are planning to include in your play.
2006-08-23 03:25:30 · answer #11 · answered by april j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋