i have been married three times. the man i am with now (we have been together for 6 years), wants me to marry him. i feel that we have a great relationship the way it is and why fix something that isn't broken. so do you think that i should go a head and marry him
2006-08-23 03:02:09 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You obviously have some issue with marriage but maybe with some counseling you and he could work past it, but don't do it without trying to figure out why the concept of marriage scares you so much.
2006-08-23 03:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by chattykatty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's hope you are learning your lessons from the 3 previous marriages (in a good way, though). Ask and answer yourself as to why they did not work. You also might want to get some opinions from your man as to what his thoughts are based on your past relationships.
I don't think people should get married just because they have been together for a certain number of years. On the other hand, it sounds like your man has been pretty patient in the relationship if he has been waiting on potentially getting married to you.
While all seems well right now and things appear not to be broken, holding off make be signs of things cracking at the seams.
Don't get married just because. Understand marriage and the reason for it. Understand what the vows you both will take and what impact it will have on both of you.
Best of luck to you!
2006-08-23 10:22:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm on the same boat although i haven't been married three times before, once was enough to put me off relationships for 6 years! I feel same way as you do, am happy with teh relationship as it is and see no reason to get married. He feels it would be better because then i would truly be his wife. Thing is ... I already act as his wife, but enjoy the partnership we have, friendship that comes along with it too. Most people tell me that i should really marry him but my mind's made up! i'm not going to risk losing what i have for a stupid ring and bit of paper. Was i to wake up one morning and feel "Yes i rally do want to marry you" Then i would tell him but i don't!
Whatever you do ... Trust your own instinct and do not let anyone pressurise you into doing something you might regret later. No one can tell you if your relationship will suffer or not, just as no one can tell me if marrying my partner would be disastrous or good but what i do know for sure ... What i have is precious, he's happy (Even though he'd love to marry me) i'm happy and i'm not prepared to humour anyone by saying yes i do, certainly not until i feel 100% about it.
You know better than anyone else! It's your life girl!
2006-08-23 10:14:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 3 times and I thought to myself...3rd times a charm or three strikes and your out. So I guess I would figure it out this time. I was the one who wanted to be married, I like being married. And I didn't want my past failures to ruin a good thing, what I mean is I love my husband with all of me and he is truly the best I've had. We go through our problems from time to time but we are best friends and I would have never got to experience this if I would have thrown it all away cause I was scared. Life is about risks and taken chances and if you have married three times, then why wouldn't you do it again. If you wait to long you may loose the best one yet. Good Luck.
2006-08-23 10:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by e_deckwa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him how you feel. If you think you want to spend the rest of your life with him, tell him. But also make sure to tell him that just because you want to grow old with him, that doesn't mean that you want to marry him. If you don't live together, offer it. In most states, you are already husband and wife (if you DO live together) In South Carolina all you have to do is tell someone that you are husband and wife and are considered common law.
Just be completely honest with him.
2006-08-23 10:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by nightflower24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you ready to get married again and make it last forever this time? That's one of the questions you should answer.
Six years is a long time if you're just going to say no.
2006-08-23 10:06:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three times? how many times has he been married? Depending on the reasoning behind the marriage, does he want to make it official, does he want children? Need more details.
2006-08-23 10:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say marry him he wants that to be sealed and vowed (contract)! Why not? Maybe you feel as though it would jinx the relationship, but if you don't it would be selfish for you to deprive him of that. After all that is the idea of why people usually get into relationships "To Get Married"!
2006-08-23 10:12:45 · answer #8 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I would have had enough with first marriage ! Why go get married again? The four time no !
2006-08-23 10:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you have been together for 6 yrs. and he asked you to marry him, why not? It could be broken if you don't . sounds to me he wants to make an honest woman out of you. go for it.
2006-08-23 10:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋