I am almost 6 weeks pregnant, i take care of my husbands brother who has a mental disability and i just turned 26 yesturday. My hubby forgot my birthday!
My head is turning from all the crying ( i am sensitive cause i am pregnant i guess). I feel so hurt. When my hubby got home from work yesterday i had dinner ready, i dset the table and even bought my self my own birthday cake. usually my hubby is the sweetest person, but when he realized he forgot he got mad at me and tried to make it seem like it was my fault that he forgot! I dont understand why he couldnt just apologize to me and try to make it up, instead he ignored me all night while i cried and didnt even bother to sing happy birthday to me or cut the cake.
So my question is should i be mad at him? if so, how long? what should i do? how should i act around him? should i even talk to him, answer his calls?
If i dont allow him to know that i am really hurt he will always be this way
2006-08-23 02:51:03 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
sorry , i meant to say that i was 6 MONTHS pregnent, not 6 weeks
2006-08-23 03:00:42 · update #1
when his b'day comes around....just act like you forgot his......what comes around ..goes around
2006-08-23 02:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
The best thing to do is talk and ask him "why" he got mad at you. You work hard and you're pregnant. He needs to realize that this is a very sensitive time in your life and you need him to be there for you! Ask him why he forgot, maybe he's been under alot of stress from work or something??? Try to get an evening out alone together, something romantic! You will need this much in the next few months, because after the baby comes, you won't have any time together!
2006-08-23 03:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by Sonja R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even in doubt if you should be mad? 1. He forgot your birthday. 2. He got mad for no good reason. 3. He ignored you. Wait for him to come to his senses and apologize, then you can forgive and forget. I'm guessing that this is your first major fight. Answer his calls, but be blunt and to the point, don't let him ramble on about his life when he is so obviously unconcerned about your feelings. YOU ARE CARRYING HIS CHILD! He should be happy that you are. He should be thankful that you did all that work on your day, and all you wanted from him was a lousy "Happy Birthday". AND you take care of his disabled brother! Let him know that you are over sensitive because of the baby. You need to remind him that you have just as of important role as he does. Would he want you to forget HIS birthday?
2016-03-27 02:19:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to be more sensitive during the pregnancy so don't forget to take that into account.
I will tell you that after 25 years of marriage I can't count the number of times that my husband has forgotten my birthday. It hurt me in the beginning because I never forgot his. But then I came to realize that in the big scheme of things it isn't that important. Yes, he should have remembered but he didn't and he probably felt like a heal. Then to top things off, you bought yourself a cake.
You weren't wrong but it just made him feel worse. Here you are tending to his brother, carrying his child and he forgot your birthday.
Don't let it ruin your day or your week. Just go on as if nothing happened and let it blow over.
You are going to be more sensitive to everything so just try to remember that and good luck.
2006-08-23 03:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, the reason your hubby is mad is he feels really bad. My hubby has forgotten my Birthday many times. If it were me, I wouldn't stay mad. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and a fight between the two of you is just going to add to the stress. When he gets home kiss him and pretend nothing happened. If you can afford it, go shopping in a few days and buy yourself a gift. Don't be surprised if he goes out and gets you something or plans a special day for you to make up. Good luck, communicate, and stay happy
2006-08-23 03:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by Stacey B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if he is trying to apologize then yes, you should talk to him. You should try to tell him as calmly as possible that you were very hurt by what he did. People make mistakes, plain and simple. He needs to acknowledge his mistake and apologize so you guys can get past it. I bet you are probably more upset about the way he acted then about him actually forgetting your birthday. I don't know why men do that. I think they must think that they have some great trick up their sleeve. Hmm, if I get mad at her, then maybe she will forget she is mad at me and everything will be fine! Listen up men. That idea doesn't work!
Oh, and Happy B-day!
2006-08-23 03:23:05 · answer #6 · answered by NJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok hun, you arent over reacting or anything on this issue. Being sensative is crying because he put a dish away wrong. You are right to be upset on this issue. That was an jerkish thing for him to do. I would go on as normal, maybe to keep to yourself and see if he comes to you. Don't give him the impression your over it but dont fret on it either, your baby needs you to be stressfree. If you are mad at him, go with that feeling. I wouldn't answer his calls and I would keep yourself occupied all day and if he asks why you didnt answer just tell him you were busy doing stuff for him to make him feel special. Good Luck!
2006-08-23 03:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by instilleddistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, just got to say...If he turned his forgetfulness on you, that is just seriously wrong. That is a huge lack of character on his part. It also shows some abusive characteristics, so be sure that it doesn't go any further than that.
Secondly, though forgetting ones b-day is a forgivable offense, you have every right to be upset as long as you need to be. You are not over reacting. Definitely do not beat yourself up for being upset. But for your own sake and that of your child don't be so upset that you make yourself sick. Your main concern is your child and yourself.
He needs to get with the program.
2006-08-23 03:03:45 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would forgive him, he may just have gotten the date mixed up, not that he forgot when ur birthday is but you know how sometimes you think today is let's say wednesday and then you find out, nope it's tuesday or whatever. he may have had a bad day at work or alot of work. grant it, he shouldn't have gotten mad at you and should've been a little more sensitive but why stay mad? it's only bad for yours and your baby's health. there will be plenty of other birthdays and whose to say he can't make up for it and celebrate it another day!! then you really will have gotten to celebrate it twice!!! there are much worse things to get mad about, don't let this ruin it for you.
2006-08-23 03:09:17 · answer #9 · answered by ana g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know. Sit him down and say "what happened yesterday really hurt me. It was my birthday and I was looking forward to a nice time with you and instead you yelled at me and acted like it was my fault. Thats not ok. It hurt me, and I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt me but it did."
If he yells at you again think about staying with friends or family for a few days.
I hope this helps.
2006-08-23 03:00:23 · answer #10 · answered by pixipaperdollfairee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should talk to him and answer his calls. Anything less would be childish!
The two of you need to sit down together and talk about what happened and how you feel about it. Tell him that you want an apology. Plan a night out together for the weekend or something
2006-08-23 03:00:26 · answer #11 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋