I want to teach him a lesson, please tell me some good lessons for him so that he 'll change his mind and will not depend so much on me? ( I even have to give him money for his cigarettes)
2006-08-23 02:37:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Dancing
I would not help supply his habit of smoking and refuse to furnish him with anything if he was my husband, if he wanted it, he would have to find the money legally to do that. That means everything, food and clothing and shelter. Nothing is free and if he wants to live like a bum and have no income, not pay for food, clothing and shelter, then I have to grant him his wish and let him live like a bum, get nothing. It is totally unfair for you to be the breadwinner while he sit backs and eats up the bread. But if he stays at home and cares for children, cooks meals, cleans up the house, etc, and it was something you both decided upon, then it is fair to give him money for those duties. I just do not believe in taking care of an adult who is fully capable of earning a living and providing necessities for himself. I really don't know of anything you could teach him except to start telling him in a positive manner that when he doesn't help you provide for both of you you feel hurt and angry about it. You believe that all adults should be provide for the family and you don't like being angry and want the anger to be removed from your relationship. It can be removed by him getting a legal job. (I say that because some may choose a criminal path). The feelings you have are causing you to have negative feelings and that is not what you want in the relationship. What you want is for the both of you to provide for your family. His getting a job and financially helping to provide for the family will be for the greater good of your family and remove the anger from the relationship.
2006-08-23 15:43:10 · answer #1 · answered by jaebeamon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother has had the same problem with my step dad for over 27 years. He worked as truck driver from 1994 till 1998. Since he was out on the road I had my mom come stay with me so she would'nt be alone for weeks at a time. He then hurts his back and was supposed to have returned to work after he recovered. He did but only for 2 months. Now they both live with me and have not left since then. I am 30 years old I have 2 kids, my daughter is 14 and my son is 12. and me and my fiance support all 6 of us and it is hard! My mom can't work, but my step dad is capable physically, If not for me then at least for my mom. I make the bulk of the income, and I get the least out of it. Stop it now girl !, because if you don't you will resent him in the future and resenment will end you guys up in a divorce.
Devil's advocate:
Does he do the cooking and the cleaning?
Does he care for the children?
This job is very hard for man to deal with, I know it's hard for women to deal with never mind being a man.
My man will go and do daily work labor for minimum wage if he has to as long as he brings in some cash! He is great!
2006-08-23 03:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I haven't seen a lot of her movies, just her overall presence and inner beauty seemed to radiate from every photo I ever saw of her. With all the Hollywood trash that abounds today, Natasha & Liam never embraced that lifestyle and that is why I so admired her. A true great who will be sadly missed. My daughter & I loved her in The Parent Trap, she just glowed on the screen. To the Neeson, Richardson & Redgrave families I extend my sincere condolences. In time the grief does get better, just remember what a shining star she was!!
2016-03-27 02:18:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
Men who are lazy spouses do NOT change, no matter how long you give them to change. If he won't get a job, tell him to get OUT and file for a divorce. You do not need to support him or his smoking habit.
My sister has been married to a guy for almost 10 years, who has never held a job for longer than 6 months, since they've been married...despite having multiple degrees. She has worked 3 jobs at times to support the family (and pay his child support).
If he's too lazy to work, he's too lazy to eat.
2006-08-23 12:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by DJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, calm down and explain him gently as to what probs u r facing due to this and then show him some practical examples as to what al has happened that cud be better, If he still dus not understand, just keep quiet, stop cribbing all the time and show him how independent u have bcum coz of his behavior. I m sure any husband wud be threatened by this and get his act right.
2006-08-23 02:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Eternity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be enabling him. I was doing the same. We're getting divorced now and he's trying to fight and get a big sum of money out of me... the lazy bum! Not only did he live in my place rent-free, now he's saying the place belongs to him in part.
I can't tell you how to solve it because I have a similar situation but look into your past and figure out who taught you that the way to be loved by a man is to serve him, do everything for him and always take the blame...
2006-08-23 06:27:09 · answer #6 · answered by Evenstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being an Attorney at law, I'll tell you, throw the bum out! But you'r going to say: But I love him. I see cases like this everyday. In fact I have one daughter, that is going through the same thing. I have told her the same thing, I don't know what women are made of?
You'r are going to answer: But his the father of my children, or
But I love him. the only advice I can give you: you love him? stick with him, until he has broken every bone in your' body!! That's why the police don't like to go and arrest the bum, because they have to write the report. Next day, you'll come and drop all charges!!
2006-08-23 02:50:28 · answer #7 · answered by alfonso 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Pinky,
It makes me wonder if your husband was this way before the two of you married.
Personally I speak from a Christian point of view. The bible says that husbands are to be the heads of the household, and they are to provide for their wife and children.
In my house we believe "if God said it, then that settles it". However that may not be the case for your home/husband.
Stop supporting his habits, talk to him, tell him it's not your job to support your family, it's your job to assist your husband. Or maybe have a good male friend talk to him.
Blessings To You & Yours
2006-08-23 02:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by Pastors Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good lesson to teach him would be to have him sign divorce papers. I bet he would learn a lesson or two then.
2006-08-23 02:43:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your husband doesn't work and u must then just tell him how u feel about him not working and u working all the time and if he doesn't listen tell him it's either he works or he can hit the road.But before u tell him to hit the road talk to him stay claim and tell how u feel and that he needs to work and if he don't then tell him to get out the house.
2006-08-23 04:11:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋