I've had a really really crap year, we had a miscarriage 2 months ago and then my grandma died(and i was present whilst she was very poorly in hospital and there pretty much till the end), were in the process of moving house due to needing a bigger house for when we get pregnant again and because we have the worst neighbours on this earth i'm sure(parties, total scumbags in general). My sis just found out she was pregnant and had to make a hard decision to have it aborted but there was no support there from the partner and my best friend is pregnant by just over 2 months, which i found out not so long ago. I feel ok sometimes but then i sink into feeling very low and down. I'm happy for my friend but deep down it makes me very sad and i feel guilty for feeling sad that its not me anymore. I keep thinkin i'll feel better soon but then go down again...help! do i need to see someone or just need time?
2006-08-23 02:22:43 · 26 answers · asked by CazW 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Can you say "s-t-r-e-s-s"?
Honey, You might need to have a shoulder to cry on-here we are.
Very stressful things in a person's life:
pregnancy, miscarriage, moving, lousy neighbors, loss of a loved one, and joy over someone else's good fortunes, pain over others' misfortunes.
Any ONE of these could rock a stable person.
Try exercising, and eating well. Take vitamins, and get out in nature-like a walk at the zoo, or around a lake. Drink warm herbal tea, and relax. Write in a journal.
These will release"feel good" hormones, naturally.
Don't do drugs or drink or lay around mopping.
After a few weeks of this-keep track--you should feel better. If not, go to the doctor. You might have anemia or sleep deprivation or a chemical imbalance that is causing you to feel depressed. Tell the doctor about your stresses and life--she may give you some meds for depression for a while.
I'm sorry for your loss.Hang in there, hon.
PS. GERALD is just plain MEAN!
2006-08-23 04:44:21 · answer #1 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Caz, sorry to hear you've had such a shocking run of luck. I certainly know about losing a close grandparent & being there at the end as its happened to me. All I can say is friends are a great assistance, especially if you feel your partner is too close for an "outsider" to speak to. Time will make this better but remember your gran loved you & take comfort in that.
With regard to the miscarriages, again maybe a close friend or counsellor would help. Don't worry about feeling guilty about being sad & maybe not always delighted for your friend. You're still grieving for your own losses & that will take some time.
Remember that you will get through this & I wish you & all those you love well & future happiness x
2006-08-23 02:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by esbee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that you have had a really tough few months. I think you probably need to talk to someone and it may help to speak to a counsellor. It is only natural you feel sad for yourself so don't feel guilty. Plus you have gone through one hell of a lot of emotions in a very short time.
I lost my gran a few years ago to whom I was quite close. She had a good life and lived it to the full as best she could. I saw her very close to the end, but what got me through was knowing she only suffered at the end and that she had the people she loved see her before she went. I also lost a close friend just beforehand. It was a very emotional time and I spoke to counsellor once. I am not saying that they helped much, if at all, but the lady just listened which I think was what I needed.
Try it - there is absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain
2006-08-23 02:45:07 · answer #3 · answered by gthecelt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes seeing a councillor can help. If you are at a point when you've talked to your partner/friends/family and you still can't see a way out I would recommend it. I have seen a councillor for things that have happened in my life and doing it was a hard decision, but the best one I think. It helped me a lot.
Because they are trained they can hear what you're not saying as much as what you are saying and they will not judge you at all. Even if you think that the thoughts you are having are bad they will not. Because of their training and experience they can help you see a situation in a different way and find a way out of it. If you're anything like me sometimes thoughts just go round and round in circles, but a councillor can help you get out of the circle and in a different direction.
Good luck and I hope you get the support you need where ever you choose to seek it.
2006-08-23 02:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jooles 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I highly recommend counselling ... time is a healer, but some things just really need to be worked through with someone or they might get supressed and affect you even worse later on. It sounds like you've had a real time of it lately & if these things had all happened over a decent length of time I'd say sure you just need time. Miscarriages alone can really take their toll on the human psyche, reducing ordinarily strong women to deep depression. Counselling really helps.
2006-08-23 02:32:51 · answer #5 · answered by SuzieQ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think you have had it bad this year think about how the other people are feeling.
It is a hard decision for your sister to make but all you can do is show your support and as for you friend go through the pregnancy with her and when your time is right to get caught pregnant it will happen
2006-08-23 02:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by SAM P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh bless you! i can not imagine going through all of these at the same time. well done in reaching out for help.
you are right that you need professional help. i do not think that i am professional enough to help you, but i can advise you to get yourself someone professional and get yourself sorted.
it is important that when you pregnant that you need to be in a positive state of mind. keep thinking positive thoughts, but it is not good to bottle up all your feelings inside, because something else might happen and then you will just explode and have a go at your husband or something.
you need allot of support at the moment and lots of hugs and kisses.
take care friend and God bless!
2006-08-23 02:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by cry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to someone who is understanding, non-judgemental, and knows you well if you have such a wise person in your life then talk to them or else counselling is great too. You need to give in to your sadness, feel your grief, and mourn your loss completely before you feel whole again. Nothing wrong in what you are feeling right now, I think it is quite natural to feel this way however you need to give into your sadness too at this point.
Maybe time is a great healer and leveller but why waste so much time and emotions when you have help available?
2006-08-23 02:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by Gayathri B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know you need to talk to someone. Its natural for you to feel sad that your friend is pregnant but you're not anymore. You've been through a tough time and speaking to a counsellor and getting your head straight again will help when you become pregnant again.
Good luck.
2006-08-23 02:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be wise to talk to someone. Ask your GP for a referral to a counselling service or have you any family or friends to confide in. I have had the worst year of my life this year so can sympathise totally.. Counselling isn't for everyone just like anti-depressents are not for everyone. Talking is good and I have learnt to just take one day at a time. Try not to worry about tomorrow. Be kind to yourself
2006-08-23 02:30:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋