Ok guess the roles are reversed here. My husband has no sex drive, never has. He's happy with it once every 2 weeks. And I want it 2x a day. I've been dealing with this for over 10 years. And I thought I would just get used to it or be able to deal with it. But I'm not. He won't listen to the fact I have needs. I have tried everything from waking him every morning with a BJ to waiting for him at the door in lingerie. Even promises of a 3-some with another woman. No "rise" from him lol.
My question is first off is he weird or what. Every guy I ever dated before I met him couldn't stay out of my pants. All his friends tell him he's lucky to have a wife that wants it all the time. I need "some" and have a close friend willing to help me out. Should I go for it? I think it's the only way I can stay with my husband and survive going without. I mean if I don't I will probably leave him over it all. We fight about it alot. I do love him so much. What's your opinion?
2006-08-23 02:00:36 · 20 answers · asked by yahooanswersgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he was all about sex before we married but I sware the week we came home from our honeymoon things changed. I have offered to do "anything" he wanted sexually any fantasy etc....
2006-08-23 02:09:49 · update #1
BY THE WAY I'M NOT ASKING FOR MORAL JUDGEMENT!!!!
2006-08-23 02:11:04 · update #2
the vibrator/masturbation is what I've been doing, I'm tired of it. I want the affection and stuff that goes along with it and yep he doesn't give that either.
2006-08-23 02:26:08 · update #3
if your hubby is cool with you having a f--k buddy then go for it. At this rate you'll eventually have an affair anyway...so why not be up front about it - your needs are different - your hubby should understand.
2006-08-23 02:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Drink a beer or glass of wine before hand. It will lighten you up and you say you have a 2x a day routine..... sex shouldn't be a routine that is why he is bored. Suprise him. As soon as he walks in the door jump on him. When you are going to bed walk out in some sexy outfit I am sure he will get the hint and try something new that you guys have never done before. Bring the spark back. Good luck!
2016-03-27 02:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not everything! You'd leave your husband b/c he lacks a higher sex drive then you; then I would guess that unconditional love is missing from your marriage. I would tell him and ask him to get one of his friends to fill in for him this way you are not having an affair he'll know about it, you'll be honest and can save your marriage instead of living a lie and sneaking around behind his back and you won't be living with guilt, if he disagrees then you'll have to be happy with toys or leave him. If your friend willing to help you out even if they are male or female then tell your husband you have a solution and ask him if he minds! Don't be unfair and play games this is your marriage.
Have you ever thought that maybe just maybe he has been malested as a young boy and sex just really isn't that important to him instead of it turning him on he's turned off. I dated a man this happened to he only wanted sex maybe once a month, after I broke it off with him this is what I found out! It's not something you go around talking about it's something most men would like to cover up and hid and you would be surprised how many males this happens to, just as many men as weomen we just don't hear about it as often as we hear about the girls... Girls talk and press charges guys don't!
2006-08-23 02:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, get on antidepressants-it kills your sex drive.(well, you'll want it once a week, instead of all the time) but, it will balance out your relationship, and help you deal with your stress. Added bonus-as soon as he notices that you just aren't as eager or available ALL the time, he'll stop being lazy, and make a move.Yes I said LAZY-thats all it is, I am sure your beautiful and it's not you. Some men who's wifes do all the work in bedroom/relationship department just get used to it-make him work at it.I can tell that you work hard at your relationship,but don't comprimise your beliefs or let down your boundaries for him. I know it' s easy to do when you love someone so much.
2006-08-23 03:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by old & decreped 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby is the same way, and I'm like you. You know as well as I do that if it were just the sex you wanted then you could masterbate 2x a day. I think you want affection and are confusing it with sex. Go now and masterbate. Do it again in an hour and once an hour till your hubby gets home. (Of course I'm not telling you to do this, just trying for a point) When your hubby gets home see if you don't still want him to smile and look at you like a piece of meat. I know that's more of what I want than the actual sex. I want to be wanted, I imagine that is sort of where you're coming from (even if you don't recognise it yet) He is normal, men make up stories about a great sex drive to make themselves look better. Also the guys before your hubby were at least 10 years younger than he is now so keep that in mind too. I don't suggest you cheat. You can obviously do whatever you want, but I know he will not be more affectionate after you cheat. Also I get told alot to stop asking for it. That somehow asking for it when they aren't willing just upsets you and also them because it sort of shrinks their ego to think that they aren't making you happy. Like I said, if you want orgasm then masterbate.... I think you'll find that you want affection and to be wanted, the only way I know to get that is to smile and be happy to be around him and act giddy like you did when you first thought he was the one for you. As a very smart man once said (about a different subject) "Fake it till you make it" Best wishes
2006-08-23 02:12:02 · answer #5 · answered by colorist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... he is one lucky man, but let's don't bash him to hard. (no pun intended)
The combination and range of his lack of sex drive and your high sex drive can really display a disconnect and appear to be more of a problem than it truly is. Now don't get me wrong, you both have needs and it sounds like you both love each other. Going to another source to satisfy your needs doesn't sound like a good idea, unless I was the other guy (just kidding).
I'd recommend seeing your family doctor for advise, there are medications that can increase his sex drive and I don't mean Viagra. Sounds like you both have an open relationship and communicate well, which may include some arguments, so that is worth something.
Exhaust ALL avenues before deciding to leave him or engage with someone else.
Best of luck!
2006-08-23 02:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
High sex drive is healthy especially for a woman. However, it may be a problem with him emotionally or physically. You should discuss this with him, seek professional help. If he's not willing to do this, ask him if you can seek other outlets (i.e. toys, movies, swinging). You are fighting becuz you are sexually frustrated. You do have needs, and if you're not getting them, you will eventually need to leave. Don't CHEAT. Make a choice....stay or go. Don't be unfair to him by cheating on your marriage vows. Marriage is sacred and should be respected more so than anything.
2006-08-23 02:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by alana w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have sex with your friend you can be sure you will loose your husband. I just broke up with the one i loved so much (no because of the sex). Many times we fought because i thought he was slow but only now i understand that he was normal and i feel so bad that i`ve lost the love of my life. Now i understand that we`ve been fighting a lot for a stupid matter. Don`t do the same mistake, get masturbated.
2006-08-23 02:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The three way is wrong and immoral and should not be done. Are you bisexual? It is true that maybe his drive is too low but yours is too high. Sex 2x a day is not fun. It really puts a lot of strain on a man's penis and it actually hurts. Sex once every three days is appropriate and much more enjoyable.
2006-08-23 02:06:03 · answer #9 · answered by The Masked Marauder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I’d say your husband is afraid to a) embrace his basic animal side (i.e. lust) and b) is afraid that you might not like what his desires are. He probably is so uncomfortable with sex that he doesn’t even know what his desires are. Perhaps he wants to tell you all his desires but is afraid you will think less of him. Tell him you need to talk. Tell him you love him and tell him you won’t judge him. Let him know there is nothing he could ask you that would make you love him less. Tell him that it is OK if he wants to have a threesome, or if he wants “rough” sex or whatever it is he is afraid to tell you. Tell him you might not agree to it or you might. Either way let him know that you understand that his fantasies are natural and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Who knows – maybe his deepest “sickest” fantasy is one of yours as well.
2006-08-23 02:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by Steven H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your husband is gay... and just waiting to come out of the closet....
Or maybe he has some REALLY wierd sexual fantasies that he doesn't dare talk to anyone about...
But yeah... there a re many guys who have low sex drives... i just tend to think that they'e not into "conventional" things... the human mind can desire some pretty fuked up things sometimes... some of my friends scare me when they talk about what they'd like to do with women... and i'm not talking about anything illegal here.
2006-08-23 02:08:05 · answer #11 · answered by Filo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋