Can a person change?

Question

Can a person who has been emotionally abusive change with counseling?

OK guess this was a bit vauge. The question is about my 41 yr old husband. His first with left him for being controling/emotionally/mentally abusive.
He filed for divorce when I left but now says he is in counseling and is changing and wants me back.
He seems so sincere but Im still scared that either 1. Its a ploy so he can get me back for leaving or 2. He is trying but things are just going to end up worse if I go back

Answer 1

Sure, just about anyone CAN change...but learning to trust someone who has hurt you in the past can be tough...if the person desires to change, the stand a much better chance...those that don't think there is anything wrong with their behavior aren't going to get much out of counseling...

It's possible...it just takes time to prove if it has really occured or not...

Answer 2

Anything in life is possible, as a 56yo male I have been divorced for 30yrs and realize, you have to be totally honest with your self, before your honest with someone else, I don`t know the age or background of this person. If this person has been abusive in the past with family, friends,strangers,and other relationships, this person must give 100% to counseling ,even then there are no guarantees. I wish you well.

Answer 3

Honestly I don't think a person can change completely, even with the best of counseling. I feel there can be some improvement but not total change. A large part of who we are as people comes from our childhood and you can never change your past. The incidents may be few and far between, but they will still happen.

Answer 4

No
once an abuser always an abuser! this is a cycle that is a never ending story since he always says he is sorry will change but then goes back to hitting you. They make empty promises that they will never be able to keep. They always seem to some how make you think that you are at fault some how when it NEVER is YOU! Get out while you still can!!!!

Answer 5

Yes, people change all the time. Counseling can help a lot.

Answer 6

i don't think men change at all. i think they are set in their ways by the time they are at 20. my man wont change, and tells me hes not. i was married to a very abusive man, he even went to prison for 5 years for it, hes out now and still the same man, hateful. people like that something happened to them to make them that way. they have to learn to forgive to be able to cope with life. counseling, it works if you want it to.

Answer 7

They can change, but they have to WANT to change. Counseling can give them some ways to change, but the change has to come from within their heart. They just have to want to change. Good luck to you. If he does'nt change, you have to get out of the relationship. Sorry..

Answer 8

People can change and people can change other people. It may not happen right then, but it takes time. Some people change for the better some change for the worst. It depends on who they are with and who they are.

Answer 9

Usually too late.

My ex called me last week, asking me to come back. I left over verbal abuse and infidelity from her.

She just went through a nasty divorce from physical abuse. He got money that I left her.

My reply, "S'too late".

Answer 10

thats a win/ loose situation, my cousin was sent off for a year and when she came back she acted different for about a week and then she went back to her old ways. But its worth a shot. In order to change, you have to *want* to change, if they want to change bad enough, they will. Nothing is set in stone.