My best friend's marriage has been on the rocks for about 6 mths now. Her husband has just told her that he's met someone else - he claims he met her only 2 mths ago. He works overseas, so for some time I've only had her side of the story. She was convinced (and convinced me) that he had had a nervous breakdown and that was why he was behaving this way. Prior to this happening, they were seen to have 1 of those perfect marriages that others can only aspire to. I've now spoken to the husband for the first time and I'm convinced that actually he really does want to move on & he's fallen out of love with my friend. Everyone involved has been telling her that she's correct in believing that he's mentally ill but I'm not so sure anymore. I think it's just one of those things. I suspect I'm going to have to be the first one to tell her. What should I do? I'm friends with both (and introduced them to each other 16 yrs ago) & godmother to their son so I dont want to burn any bridges
2006-08-23 00:23:45 · 17 answers · asked by babyalmie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For Michigan wife - although she's my friend and want to be there for her, I do actually find it very upsetting to talk about. I'm not chasing them - my friend phones daily to cry on my shoulder and her husband has just called me - so unless you expect me to put the phone down on 2 good friends I'm going to continue trying to do the right thing
2006-08-23 00:40:55 · update #1
Just be supportive of both.
Don't even try to offer any advice, it just becomes too complicated.
Anyway, it's over~ like 50% of all marriages.
And, that's life...
2006-08-23 00:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be careful how you tread on this one. Remain an outsider as this is their mess. It's never easy when a marriage ends and things do get out of hand and nasty, however being friends with both of them means you'll have to keep your mouth shut and your ears open.....just nod and shake your head but never give your opinion, cos at any time they could repeat what you have said as back up for their side of the argument....
2006-08-23 08:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by EMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really you need to back off! It is their marriage and it doesn't matter how long you have known them. It is none of your business to be calling him and getting his side of the story and then telling her what he said. Grow up. Be an adult and mind your own buisness. That is just wrong that you would involve yourself that much.
well if you truely wanted to do the right thing you would back out of it. It is totally inappropriate for you to be telling them what each other is saying. Find something else to occupy your mind. Let them know you will listen but don't give any point of view that you might have.
2006-08-23 07:36:56 · answer #3 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should take her out for a long walk..
breathe in the fresh air and calm down..
look around and observe whats around you..
and be happy that you are you and your alive and have lots of friends that care for you..
Only think of good thoughts and positive things, when your all tired go to bed and smile.. tomorrow is another day.. :)
2006-08-23 18:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by scorpion queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why tell her anything? At this point...let her believe that he had a breakdown. IF that helps her cope with it, I don't see any reason to take that from her. Instead of fretting over the reason why the marriage went sour, try to help her plan her next step of her life.
2006-08-23 07:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by Emporer_Smiley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one is a tougyhy. You could do one of 2 things, tell her what you know for her to get angry and upset, or leave it and let her think what she wants to think. she will realise in time that he doesnt want her back and all yyou can do is tell her to move on like he has!! i dont envy you tho hun xx
2006-08-23 12:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from the middle and try and give support. It's a tricky situation but you seem to be intelligent, use that intelligence, think before you speak or act and stay neutral.
2006-08-23 07:32:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be as honnest as you can and has you heart tell you to do.
If you were in your friend's position, how would you like you best friend to respond in such situation?
I am sure your friend will appreciate she has a true friend to confort her in this difficult time and that will help her to move on and one day to be able to be happy again.
2006-08-23 07:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Pimprenelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might feel betrayed if you remain friends with him to but you can try it and see what happens. Just be supportive of her and encourage her to move on. Do things with her to keep her occupied and busy, showing her that she can have fun without him.
2006-08-23 08:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult. Try to be supportive but DON'T judge either one of them to each other, you must try and remain impartial. Because if they ever get back together again, you will be the baddy!
2006-08-23 08:48:31 · answer #10 · answered by Lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋