2006-08-23 00:15:24 · 13 answers · asked by Marianne not Ginger™ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My kids are in their teens, and I like to let them think they've made a decision on their own, it makes them feel good and shows them what can happen if they make a wise or bad decision.
I say "I let them think they've made one", because I am always there talking about it with them, playing the devil's advocate, and offering up tips or advice when needed. So far, that has been a good way for them to think through a decision. Granted...I have ultimate veto power, but I rarely need to use it because they are now really good at figuring out all the angles before making a decision.
2006-08-23 09:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by gotalife 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Children do not make decisions they can only make choices.
Parents should be there to guide them and make suggestions. Discuss with them why certain decisions had to be made.
Againk it depends entirely on the subject matter, the age of the children and the outcome of a bad decision on their part.
Young adults should be guided if they ask for help in deciding. If they don't ask, then they have to live with the consequences and hopefully chose better next time.
But guidance of parents never stops, no matter how old the children become.
My adult children are given advice if they ask it, otherwise I don't offer.
2006-08-23 14:52:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this a trick question. I think sometimes making decisions regarding your own life is guiding your child's life. I forget the author but there is a poem about a child becoming what they see. If raised with criticism they become critical and so on. If they are raised on horror movies and drunk parents they grow up to be Freddy Kreugor only drunk on cheap wine. So I guess even out of the womb it's a symbiotic relationship. I think the way you guide your child will pay dividends when your old, gray, demented and in diapers. I do hope by that time my daughters will know what to do, push me down the hill in my wheel chair. Bad humor I know.
I can't stand the products of passive parenting.
2006-08-23 09:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great answers thus far. Hard to top. I'll just add my theory that children are but little adults minus the wisdom of life's experiences and are in fact capable of making decisions provided they have the proper resources and guidance to do so. That's where we as parents come in. Understanding the recourse of a decision will help us as parents to guide them to make the wise one.
Of course they guide mine as well. Nearly every decision I make directly (or indirectly) affects their welfare and best interests. So, understanding and remembering that guides me to making these decisions accordingly.
2006-08-24 00:29:27 · answer #4 · answered by Antny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I make the decisions for my kids regarding health, custodial issues, education and recreation. I let my kids makes choices, like chocolate or vanilla, not should I go to the dentist or how many nights shall I go see my Mum.
Many parents cop out and let their kids make adult decisions which I think is absolute folly. Child need to be guided that is what parenting is all about, guidance.
My decisions are guided by the faith that I am doing what I think is best for my kids. If I make poor decisions it is my responsibility not my kids to bear the burden of them.
2006-08-23 12:55:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guide her's most of the time, although it has proved quite useful to let her steer the ship once in a while, she gets the insight to everything, its amazing!
2006-08-23 22:31:47 · answer #6 · answered by Pablo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a give and take relationship. We tailored our lives to be there for them while at the same time insured they stayed busy with things such as school activities. Now the oldest two are in college and the youngest one is a senior in high school. We're very proud of all of them.
2006-08-23 07:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Ray 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it should be both.....you are to set a good example....so your decisions should be guided by them.....however, you should show them right and wrong, and guided theirs so they know what is right and wrong....and the process of thinking the right way
2006-08-23 07:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I treat my kids as people and involve them in decisions. I do have more experience than they do so I do my best to help them make the right decision.
2006-08-23 07:22:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guide theirs but they guide my wife's so hopefully it balances out.
2006-08-23 12:11:40 · answer #10 · answered by Beware the fury of a patient man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋