Does "grounding" your child really work?

Question

Exactly what lesson are they learning? What benefit is reaped? Is it really a deterent to prevent them doing inappropriate things again?

I'm just curious.

Answer 1

I think several forms of discipline are birthed from desperation for parents who checked out in the early years. I think grounding is a much better alternative then others I won't bother suggesting. As I was growing my father was a believer in work, my brothers and I learned to work. If we made a mess we cleaned it up, if we stole something we brought it back, if we broke it and couldn't fix it restitution was in order. The grounding method is only effective if you can actually enforce it and if it entails more then sitting in a room playing Nintendo and watching movies. The lesson learned is in my view and adult version of the time out. If your behavior violates the family or society you are removed from those opportunities to socialize. Ideally if the child isn't grossly impaired socially they will learn that negative behavior means separation. I think grounding is only effective if it's applied correctly. I would ground for lying about where she was going based on the premise if you can't be trusted to be where you say you'll be, you won't go anywhere. Then I would phase social privileges back in slowly no sleep overs right away, parents must call and I'll be checking. A child coming home on drugs, sneaking out windows or excessive truancy is well beyond grounding it's at that point gasoline on the fire. It's all useless if you can't enforce it.

lol.. at off my meds answer.

Answer 2

Some children can be molded quite easily and others take more effort. Each child is different and how we should approach punishment or grounding.
My children received spankings as little tykes. Not beatings. But they did remember those lessons well and as they grew up and ventured out, even as teens, discipline was no longer an issue. The groundwork was done in the early formative years.
That is where it has the most effect.

I firmly believe in giving children as much freedom as possible, with restrictions if it involves danger. Being fair in punishment is vital. Once the issue has been dealt with, it is over and done with.
When behaviour resulted in dangerous situations, the punishment was stricter. I didn't fool around then as could mean severe injury or even death. Then it didn't matter what my children thought of me. Once things had calmed down, we would sit down and discuss the matter at their level of understanding.
I think most children dislike or even hate their parents at some point in their growing years. Parents should not be afraid of this and appease them because they might be disliked.
Fairness is the key to everything and children should be dealt with only insofar as they can understand the grounding or punishment.

Answer 3

Unless it has to do directly with a specific infraction, I rarely use this type of disciplinary engagement because it usually initiates a power struggle. Withholding privileges is about as far as that would go. What usually works best for my kids is a "make it right" type of strategy when there is one or when there are certain rules broken, they're matched with fitting consequences. It's not easy sometimes but a little creativity goes a long way.

Answer 4

I think it's different for each child. My son would get grounded for coming home late (like 30-60 min late) and as soon as he was able to go and do something again- he would be late again. Didn't work for him. Just the threat of grounding my daughter keeps her in line. It may just be the boy/girl difference too...
They should be learning that you need to keep the rules, and if you can't you will be supervised 24/7.

Answer 5

As a kid growing up, I was spanked (it would be classified as "beatings" these days), grounded, yelled at, smacked, mentally abused, etc. Dr. Spock wasn't welcome in our home. And ya know what? It didn't do a thing to stop me being "bad." So the only lesson I learned from all of that, was not to do it to my own children, because it's not worth it, and it's not a deterrent.

I have never grounded my kids. And I've never spanked them either. I tried time outs for a while, which really didn't do much for them, it gave me a break, but they didn't really learn anything...they just calmed down a bit...until the next time.

My Grandfather used to say..."When you have kids don't worry about correcting every little mistake they make when they make one...they will always give you another opportunity to correct them."

So I took that to heart and didn't freak out every time they did something wrong. And I found that just getting them to calm down, and talking to them about their behavior usually worked wonders. As they've gotten older I've discovered that "fining" them works really really well. There is nothing they hate more than really messing up and having me say, "Oops...that's gonna cost ya $20.00. Thanks for buying me lunch."

All I know, from my own experiences and those of my children, is what works for us...and I really couldn't have asked for better kids, cause I sure don't deserve 'em.

Answer 6

I think so. I remember being a kid and being grounded, it was the worse thing ever. Even in middle school I would get grounded because of grades and could not go to the dances. It as gut wrenching!

Answer 7

Since they did something wrong,
I'll send them to my room where there is no cable, no computer, no phones, no outside communication
Kids learn habits from older people and tv
I'll tell them to decide between good and bad
And do the right thing, next time, everytime

Answer 8

One should carry cake and stick together for a healthy growth with discipline in the children , maintain a healthy balance .

Answer 9

Of course it works. After all, in order to properly electrocute the little buggers, they have to be properly grounded. How else will they complete the circuit?

Answer 10

Grounding a child will only work if you hook them up to 120 volts first. Then it will light them up.