Only in Britain ! light hearted material, to brighten up your day !?

Question

Not a real question, but some funny facts !
I'll give 10 points to whoever comes up with something similar!

If it is rude or racist, you get sod all !

Proud to be British
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a

Belgian beer, and then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or

a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch

American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? - Suspicion of anything foreign.

Only in Britain ...
can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

do people order double cheeseburgers, fries and a DIET coke.

do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

To Roxi Hart :
I know why you are calling me a thief ! you are assuming , I stole the text from you ! right ! OK
If you truley , wrote the original, I am sorry and appologise, I did not get it from you, but from the net, and it didn't say by Roxi Hart .
If you too, got it from the net , then piss off !

To "Father of the ..." ,
Your name suggests you are a Male (Father!), but your avatar is that of a female! Are you a male with female tendencies? Is that the cause of your frustration?

Answer 1

Only in Britain do we;

Moan when it's summertime (too hot).
Moan in the winter (too cold).

Always have an umbrella handy.

Have a bad meal in a restaurant and complain after we've eaten it, paid for it and are in the car on the journey home.

Hold up traffic on the motorway because we need to see a crash in the opposite lane.

Cross a road to avoid awkward eye contact with a beggar.

Not know how to cook on a barbecue properly.


Edit:

Being able to laugh at Father of the....... (see below) safe in the knowledge that we are so superior we have no need to feel threatened by comments like that.

Answer 2

Shame Britain is getting a little bit paranoid like the Americans. And Blair is slowly eroding civil liberties. Have you heard the police want more powers to dispense instant justice, abit like Judge Dredd. That is a step closer towards a police state.

One startling fact, Britain has more cctv cameras trained on the general population than any other country in the world. Big brother truly is watching you. 1984 just over 20 years later.

And only Britain would leave fat buffoon presclott in charge, while the pm suns himself in paradise during the middle of an airport crisis. Talk about fiddling while Rome burns...

Answer 3

upward thrust adversarial to Breaking Benjamin Avenged Sevenfold Bullet For My Valentine Linkin Park Chevelle equipment of a Down Disturbed Stained Thousand Foot Crutch Trapt Anberlin Underoath Sum 40-one 30 Seconds To Mars youngsters in the way pink Jumpsuit equipment Taking decrease back Sunday Senses Fail Atreyu human beings In Planes Queens of the Stone Age Metallica Dragonforce children of Bodom Wolfmother Judas Priest it truly is all i visit imagine of in the present day.

Answer 4

hahaha Great question....

It's nice to have a British Bashing day every once in a while...bunch of bloomin wa*kers us lot...

First things first, It is definitely a crap language, you had better come up with your own; shouldn't take too long, English has only been developing for the last 1500 years

Thank us for the industrial revolution, suspension bridges, modern war fare tactics, : for stopping Germany from raping all of Europe TWICE, for bringing democracy to over 170 countries, ...Oh yes and 69% of all inventions have come from Great Britain (according to Japan). America & Japan has cornered the world in mass production....but they can't invent...they get us to do that...RADAR, penicillin, television, the telephone, the engine should I go on....Crikey, without us telling you lot what to make, everyone in the world would be living in caves still

Should we move into the world of art, architechure and literature
for a moment? maybe not....you guys wouldn't understand

I suppose this is to be expected: we have enlightened the world, we have bought peace, however we are an old nation now, and all the young countries out there, America for example are now approaching their adolesence so it is only right to expect a bit of back chat: every parent knows this...

Thinking we are the funniest in the world? well thats Monty Pythons fault for being the funniest thing in the world

You may bow or curtsey in our presence

Answer 5

and also a country where

we are billions of pounds of debt so theyre opening super casinos to combat the problem

many people have drink issues so theyre giving them 24 hours a day to buy the stuff

where many are unemployed and desperate to be trained so they bring in people from other countries to do it instead

where police support officers are employed to secure the community but cant arrest a criminal when they find one

and you can fly an england flag during the world cup, but the rest of the time its seen as politically incorrect as it may offend someone

Answer 6

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. ?????????
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. ????????
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Don't know about the whole of Britian but definately applies to Edinburgh.
In Edinburgh you can get a flight to London, Dublin, Paris or Amsterdam that costs less than your taxi fare home from the airport.

Answer 8

Another very British thing: The Brits thinking they're the funniest a$$holes on the friggin face of the planet. Another British thing: The Brits thinking they are very cultured people, just because everybody eats plastic curry. Another British thing: The Brits thinking they are genuine and the top of the world, when really everybody else always has cooler gadgets and better tax laws.

Answer 9

Haha Police are meant to be there to stop crime when most of them are the biggest crooks going.
And whats the point in light cigerettes there just as bad for you.

And when you feel ill you ring the doctor and he says have you got an apointment, No how was I suppose to know I was gonna be Ill.

Answer 10

You thief! You pinched that from Roxy Harts 360 page! And the general concensus was that it pretty much goes for the US too!