Did you cause your marriage to fail?

Answer 1

aaah yes and no, there were no sparks after 8 yrs, he was too boring, self centered....blah

Answer 2

No one fells out from love , they fell out from commitment. Marriage is not about love. MARRIAGE IS A COMMITMENT - BOTTOME LINE, FOR BETTER OR WORSE. Whenwe marry , we make a commitment to stick by OUR ORDAINED LIFETIME SOULMATE through thick and thin. If our ordainedsoulmate screws up and makes mistakes , forgive them , work it out and maintain your commitment. Lifetime is until death not 1 year or not 7 years , or not 16 years, or not 28 years, not 48 years . So marriage is what it is until death. Divorce should never be an option no matter what. Divorce means quit , and it's the coward's way out like is killing oneself is. If you feel that you don't love your ordained lifetime spouse anymore , then you have to work thar much harder to refresh the marriage and develop new ways of sharing each other . The problem is we live in what I call a ' Fast Food Could Care Less Society " it's me , myself & I { I want what I want and I want it now } the problem is marriage is not fast food . It takes years of cultivation , nurturing , & God centered. A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS NOT A DESTINATION - IT IS A JOURNEY !!!

Answer 3

I feel that i wasn't the instigator, but as everyone says, she did things, i did things, we started reacting due to our expectations rather than having the wisdom to be really honest with each other. Having said that, the marraige councillor did tell her to see a Psychologist which she agreed to, then when we were alone she said she didnt have any problems....
Oh and when she accused me of trying to kill her...that was a step to far. So i had to take a decision to end a relationship without trust and a lady with psychological problems...
Divorce is never a good thing, in the islamic philosophy it says its the worst thing which God allows...so never do it lightly and always consult friends, colleagues, doctors, councillors BEFORE you start even THINKING about divorce... please.

Answer 4

this might help you too...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.


Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... not just a feeling.

Answer 5

Failure is never 100% on ethier side. So yes I had a hand in it,my lack of trust was a big issue I guess and those faulty zippers on his pants was a problem too. realy I blame the zippper manufactors.Its all their fault!

Answer 6

I'll admit that while I'm not entirely to blame, the majority of it was my fault. I know it, accepted it, and moved on.

Answer 7

Yes, a few times, in fact.

Answer 8

Yes I did, putting ambition and the quest for money before my wife drove her away

Answer 9

not me he did he cheated and lied and use emotional abuse as well as breaking my wrist when he try to force me to have sex with him after he finished the marriage

Answer 10

Yes I was intolerant of the beatings, aggravated him so that he had to hit me, was not as good as his mother, and let myself go so that he had to find someone younger.