I find when I'm in my own company, I'm relaxed and fine and also a bit better on a one to one. When I'm in the company of people, I become tense and I clam up! I can't 'let go' around people and I become like a mouse with them. I just want to run away from people and I feel tearful with them. I just can't seem to get close to them. I'm an extremely private person and I just don't know where this has all come from. I wonder if it's selective mutism, but I'm in my mid 30's. I hate the very fact that people might get to know the slightest thing about me - it's weird.
2006-08-22 22:35:47 · 9 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hey there!! . . . I know how you feel. I am very much the same. I believe it is a type of phobia, and it is very real. Don't worry though, I have found people accept me for who I am when I tell them I don't want to go out for a drink with 'the girls'. I have found quite a number of true friends just by having one on ones.
I hate every one knowing every detail about me too, it's not weird, it's just who you are. While you remain private, it prevents others from group judging you or gossipping.
Are you 100% happy with who you are? Have you ever been emotionally hurt or ridiculed by a group of peers? Perhaps this may have started then?? But you should never feel pressured to be or do anything you don't wish to.
2006-08-22 23:03:55 · answer #1 · answered by ang_172 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*knocks on her shell* Come out, sweety. Come out, come out and play!
Because I think you're too shy... and that you fear even the slightest rejection especially in front of other characters.
Sometimes, it's unavoidable to be with a group of people -- especially when someone close to you drags you to a gathering. You need not to speak while you're in a group of people but you can try listening instead. You just might have an opinion and unknowlingly spill it out... or you think it's impossible for you to do that because you assume ahead they might laugh at you or reject your opinion? I believe, people are not really that evil to punish you, especially when they're aware of your shyness. They will rather wonder what's wrong with you if you move away, or attempt to move away from the group.
Is there really something about you that you don't want other people to find out but which you can't easily deny when asked directly?
Can I take you for a walk at the park?
2006-08-22 23:01:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do what you feel comfortable. You don't have to mix in a crowd if you don't want to. Anyway having just a few close friends one to one is good enough.
Perhaps you had a bad experience with crowds when you were younger? Don't worry too much about people knowing about you, you could be just another nameless face in the crowd to them.
2006-08-22 22:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by lilneo0082 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya just got to find the right people, I won't say mix of people, but a few people who you are comfortable with, because with a group, there is always a wise guy or smart *** girl that makes people like you and I uncomfortable. Have a nice day
2006-08-22 22:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by Michael 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm just about the same way. I don't know why it is though, it's just hard to live with. I don't like people to know anything about me, I have good friends who know next to nothing about my interests, etc. To everybody I must seem to be the most boring cardboard cut out, but I'm afraid to be myself. It's like I'm two people, the person I am in private or with those closest to me, and the public me.
Anyway, sorry to go off like that. I'm sorry that things are like that for you, your not alone =)
2006-08-22 22:46:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...don't think yourself is weird...There are people like that. They prefer being alone. In fact one of my friends is very close to what you described. Just remember there are people more than you thought that will appreciate your friendship whenever you feel comfortable to talk to them. And before that happened, there is nothing wrong the way you live. :)
2006-08-22 23:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by Lune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do not have to be close to many people. If you enjoy alone, that is fine. Some people do not like too much friends.
To be alone may be good. For you is important to be close with your mother and father and brothers and sisters if you have them.
You have to accept who you are.
2006-08-22 22:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try a doctor maybe you have a chemical disorder , I am a quiet guy but If you feel that way maybe you should talk to a pro
2006-08-22 22:43:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im the same way which is hard b/c im 21.. it might be a form of social anixety
2006-08-22 22:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by enigma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋