How do i know that my fiancee is the person i want to be with for the rest of my life?

Question

Hmmmm im 19 and want to travel and party etc!! But im in a relationship with a house new car etc..And i love my partener..I want to do these things with him but i cant guarantee it will happen?? what do you guys advise??

Answer 1

If you don't get to do all of these things that you want to do - you will resent him in the long run and it will never work out. It sounds like you need time to yourself for a while to get to know you and do these things.

Or - you have to talk to him about this and let him know that you don't want to resent him but that you are young and have some life and experiences left to live before settling down and that you need the freedom to do that. If you love him and know that you want to spend your life with him - that you can't imagine falling asleep next to anyone else or waking up beside anyone but him -then he is for you. If you find yourself thinking of others seriously and wanting to act on that then you really need to take a break from him- there is an old saying that if you let something go and it comes back to you, it's yours and if it doesn't; it never was.

It sounds like you maybe were pressured into moving so fast or it all happened so fast, you just woke up one morning like - wait - I have all of these things on my "to do list of life" and I haven't done them - that isn't good. You should be complete as an individual before committing to someone and sharing your life with them - if you aren't then you aren't even complete yet and don't know who you are so it would be hard to be with someone else.

And you say you want to do them with him - that shows something good. If you didnt want him around that would show something different. Let him know that you love him and that you have so much exploring left to do before you guys move on to certain things - explain to him that you are young and hungry for life experience. And that you don't want 20 years to pass by always wishing you did this and did this - the "what ifs" are torture - you don't want them later in life. SO - let him know that before you totally settle down and have kids, etc - if that is something you guys plan on - that you have things left to do and that you will never feel complete without them but that you want him to experience all of these things with you - you don't want to resent him later but you want to live like a 19 year old and that sometimes you feel that although you are happy and love him to death, that you miss that other part of life that most 19 year olds get to live - and that you need that too. You need all of it to feel complete. If he loves you - and I am sure he does, he will want you to be happy and feel complete - he will want to give you all of this so he knows that for the rest of your lives, you would never be thinking - what if... i should have...why didn't I...that would be torture for him to - so be open, communicate and put it out there. Many couples take time to travel and "party" before having kids, etc. You need that time in a relationship to get to know eachother and live life - make memories before kids - you need to make it about you too - not just him and his plans. 50/50 so put it out there. :o) good luck!!

Answer 2

You are young I'm 22 and have a husband and a 2 year old and another baby due in 7 weeks i have the car the House and all that as well but i knew what i wanted i could not picture myself with any one other than my husband if you cant picture your self with any one other than your man than you have found the one for you.As for partying why not do that with your man before we had kids even know that we have kids we do all that together you know if any thing happened your hubby will be there to protect you and help you through all the hard times just as yo will for him.Its hard when you think that your going to miss out but if you think of the positive things such as sharing your moments together and helping one another it will be a great experience instead of a lonely one. GOOD LUCK i hope you do whats right for you.

Answer 3

hi Rebekah, Cognitive-behavioral treatment (CBT) has a tendency to be useful as a standalone clinical look after gentle to average OCD. For extra severe OCD, a blend of CBT and medicines (mutually with Zoloft) is often proper, per chance because the medication takes the "aspect" off the OCD indications, making it extra accessible to confront those fears in treatment. As for no matter if you'd be intending to be dealt with something else of your existence, the answer is not any. CBT for OCD usually takes about 16 sessions, 2 sessions a week. frequently talking, those that get extra constructive as a outcome of CBT have a tendency to have decrease expenses of relapse than do those that take drugs (as has been your journey--once you end taking Zoloft, the convenience is lost). Supposing that you've severe OCD and favor to proceed taking Zoloft mutually with habit treatment... you may ask your self, it really is worse... your OCD indications, or a touch soreness because your household does not understand the reason you're taking drugs? If I were on your shoes, i'd probably come across a fashion to describe to myself and my kinfolk why taking meds could be very mandatory. If the meds are helping you to operate on a on a daily basis foundation (on your college or interest, & your intimate-social-kinfolk relationships), then they're major.

Answer 4

Hmmmmm, if you are feeling this way, then you are not ready. You said it, you like to travel and party, you are not ready for anything else. You are too young to know. I got married at 18 and it lasted oinly 4 yrs, plus I had a little boy of 2 yrs old. I got married again at 26, much better, and now married long time.

Answer 5

If you love him and want to do all these cool things with him, then he is the one for you. But do remember that marriage isn't just for now and then, its permanent and its supposed to last a lifetime. Unless you want a divorce, be prepared mentally that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Your life could mean the next one year or the next thirty years. You have to know in your heart that this person is the one person who is going to be with you always, whom you'll love and support and have children together. If it feels right, then he is the person for you. Besides marriage is hard work, you can't just get married and let the marriage take care of itself. You have to work hard at it, have to learn to compromise, be loving and supportive, take the rough with the calm and stay with the person. That's marriage.

Answer 6

Grow up - there is no logical reason you can't have those things and a deep relationship with someone - but if you are seeing that one thing and another are mutually exclusive you are not emotionally mature enough for a relationship with someone with a house, new car, etc... You need some conversation time with your partner - pronto.

Answer 7

I think 19 is a little bit young for marriage. Maybe it's just the things you want but no marriage. You aren't ready for marriage if you're having all these doubts. You can move in with him then think about it.

Answer 8

Only 19 huh? If you can wait a few more years just see where it goes from there. If you have reservations about it now then give it more time.

Answer 9

take your time, and be sure that this is what you really want before you get married!!! you can never "guarantee" it won't happen, but it will be more likely to happen if you're not sure in the first place!!!

Answer 10

If you are already questioning it then it isnt. You are not mature enough for a real relationship. You should break up with him, so you dont break his heart by cheating on him later.