Out of curiosity, do you get along with your inlaws? Does your spouse get along with your parents? I'm noticing it seems that usually only one set of inlaws is appreciated, and the other is avoided.
How would you rate the problems it causes in your marriage? Hardly noticeable, minor irritant, frustration or all-out-war?
2006-08-22 19:28:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i hardly ever see them
2006-08-22 19:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With me it's truly an all out war - but in a very subtle way - as though to look like they are being loving when they are really sticking a dagger in my back.
My parents live in another state and the ones we need to try to avoid live close and want to be close but when we try to be close - they are a nightmare - tearing apart our marriage and trying to tell us what to do.
They do everything possible to look like loving angels when they totally think I'm the most evil person in the world for taking away their son and brother when they were planning to be just them together forever.
They want to have a say in every decision we make and treat us like irresponsible children who can't manage on our own. If we go on vacation with them for instance, they don't let us drive - they have the entire agenda planned out and my sister in law will just barge in our room and refuses to give us a moment of privacy and doesn't allow a private thought to pass between us at family gatherings - we're all supposed to be 100% transparent about everything and well -sorry sis - husband and wife - is not like that - even her own marriage - she's not totally transparent with us.
I love them but they drive me bananas!
2006-08-22 19:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you read my question then you will know that they are very intrusive, manipulitive. I always respected them but they have drawn the line. I stuck up for myself and his parents did not like that. So, my 33 year old husband is with them and I am here on this blog
As for my parents. He has always gotten along with them. He really looks up to my dad because he is very honest, genuine and giving. He liked my mom too. Both my parents have never meddled in our relationship, partially because they don't want to put any strain on our marriage and they have a lot of confidence in us.
I was really shock at all this "bad mother in-law jokes" since my mother (who has raised 8 of us) has always gotten along with her children-in laws and they have always loved my mom. Actually, my parents are known to save relationships not sabatoge them.
So I guess my rating for problems with my in-laws would be......."not healthy"
2006-08-22 19:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by mtorstvet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess i'll tell you from my personal experience...
so far i get along extremely well with my in-laws than my actual parents! my husband may sound like he's absolutely annoyed with his parents, but it is obvious he likes them more than my parents. so technically your observation is correct with my experience, only one set of inlaw is more appreciated (but then, it can be because we are probably comparing one with the other and thinking one is better than the other). both my parents and in-law is not avoided...but probably my parents will be when we move out of my mother's home.
as for how it affects my marriage life? hardly noticeable.
2006-08-22 20:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by mymymissmai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to share this with you, but I'm afraid for me it was all out war: rather a battlefield of emotions. Simply, and in a nut shell his mother thought that I wasn't good enough for him - which was a damn insult to me and my family. He was a bachelor and lived with mummy until he was 38. I had been married before and had 2 half grown daughters, whom were and still are, very educated and very respectful. I had my own house in which I'd purchased with no help from my ex-husband. I was also fully employed and had been at that stage for 12 years at the same company. she didn't like me and he (my partner sided with mummy for years).
I have no pleasant recollection of her and did not even attend her funeral. Sorry, I'm no hypocrite.
2006-08-22 19:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by cheeky_beth_62 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get along with my in laws at all - in fact it is a silent war that is being waged on both sides. It causes alot of problems in my marriage as I can't accept that they will never accept me - cultural differences
2006-08-22 20:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by CLEVER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find my mother in law intrusive and over bearing gossipy and down right nosey, all of her family let her get on with it I suppose they are used to it but she bugs me.
my husband knows a bit about how I feel and trys to deflect some of it away
on the other side he doesn'treally have any contact with my mother she is not as interfering LOL
2006-08-22 19:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by ladysunshineau 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My better half's are gone already. We met later in life. My parents are going through some serious health issues right now so neither one of us has in-law issues....just our own! lol
2006-08-22 19:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the all time winner. Every family needs it. Without it - there will be space
2006-08-22 19:31:42 · answer #9 · answered by kirk_leblanc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for me it was all out war at first...before my husband and i was married i found out i was pregnant and his parents didnt want anything to do with me...they wanted me to have an abortion and hide it from my family while i recorver that their house...i was so mad and my husband jus sat there as if i didnt exsist...it really broke my heart...but we went against his parents wishes and got married...eloped...after our son was born all things started to change...they started coming around more and they asked for our forgiveness and made up for the things they said...they jus didnt want us to ruin our lives...not its even better than i can imangine...my in-laws and i get along better than my side of the family...my husband gets along great with my side its me who is having the trouble.
2006-08-22 20:20:08 · answer #10 · answered by june 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My "in-laws" and I don't have anything to do with each other nor do they have anything to do with their son. My parents became his. By his choice. For me it is frustration because they don't think anyone he is with is good enough.
2006-08-22 19:31:40 · answer #11 · answered by s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋