It has been a *very* long time since my husband and I have been intimate. Do you feel that I am out of line having sex once we are separated, or do I really need to wait until we are divorced? Or should I feel free to have sex with someone else now, since my husband no longer loves me? I am interested in legal opinions and also moral opinions.
2006-08-22 19:23:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sure ... go out and bump uglies. That's a great way of starting
a new relationship. Let me guess ... is that how your last one started ....screwing first? May I suggest some character development reading. Chinese Proverb "Great souls have wills. Feeble souls have wishes."
2006-08-22 19:48:37 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I'll tell you what my lawyer told me: wait until you're divorced.
You don't mention children but if you have some it's even more important to wait. If custody is contested he could use your infidelity against you.
If you cheat on him, and as long as you are married it is adultery, he may be able to use it against you if the divorce gets nasty. Why risk it?
Since you asked about the moral issues I'm going to say that having sex with someone while you're married to someone else is the definition of adultery. Do you really want that on your head and heart?
If you're lonely then go out with girlfriends, join a club, join a church, volunteer, but DON'T get intimate with someone else. There is NO way that having sex with someone else during this time is going to make your situation better.
2006-08-22 19:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your shoes before, so I had sex with my ex-husband before i divorced him. But when the love is gone so is the sex, so in my opinion i feel that you should go and have sex with someone that you really and honestly trust. We all know what's out there pertaining to S.T.D's out in the world, so i as a woman would advise that you not leap into anything that you are not sure of. No i do not feel that you are out of line having sex once you are separated. Since your husband doesn't love you, then go out there and have a good time, i mean go out to a club or go out to dinner or something to relax your mind and be yourself. This is my second marriage that i am in right now, and i have been divorced from my first husband for 2 years now and when i was leaving him, i got a boyfriend that i am now currently married to and i had sex with him on the beach in july and divorced my first husband in august, so like i said as a woman go out there and go and have yourself a good time, you will enjoy yourself.
2006-08-22 20:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by kintrell_olia_wright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a question of how long you have'nt been intimate with your husband but it is both legally and morally not correct to have an intimate relationship with someone else. If you are convinced that your husband does not love you anymore then you have the liberty to file for divorce and WAIT until the divorce is finalised before you can think of starting a new relationship with someone else.
2006-08-22 19:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Morally you shouldn't have sex out of wedlock, and I think you are aware of this due to the way you state your question. I would like to advise you to follow your gut instinct on that note.
Legally, he could actually charge you with infidelity in some states. That could make the divorce even more of a mess. What do think you should do in this respect?? Take a chance?
It really would be better if you waited for the new husband.
2006-08-22 19:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if you are separated, I do not see anything wrong with it. you are a human being and you hve needs and it is very much ok to have those feelings. i wouldnt suggest some random hook up, but if something comes your way,maybe someone you already had in mind, dont let your body fight the emotional need. you obviously have been unhappy for a while, have decided to separate and eventually divorce, so go for it. i think it would be a moral issue if you did it while still being with your husband and not going through a separation or divorce.
2006-08-22 19:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by gallow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy do I have a story for you. I got involved with man who said he was divorced. We dated, fell in love, made love after a good period of time. We moved in together and lived together for almost a year. His wife sent "him" a card and on the front of the envelope it had to Mr.Blah from Mrs.Blah. Yep! He is still married and after two years of living together he just now has the money to file for divorce and he has been paying her bills this whole time and I was paying half the bills for us living together. Now I pay nothing and he doesn't ask me to...better not either.
So, I say WAIT until you are free and clearly divorced. You may fall in love with someone and have all this baggage you have to clear up before you can move on with the new guy, that is if you are looking to get involved in a serious relationship. Clear it up first. Sex always changes things anyway,so unless the new guy understands no-strings and you do too...then maybe!
2006-08-22 19:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until we are totally separated (not living in same house) then when the time is right and you meet a special person then go ahead, meanwhile buy a toy and entertain yourself, otherwise things inside house might turn ugly. I have been there and I waited till we actually separated, so far it has worked and I'm almost finilized w/ the divorce.
2006-08-22 19:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by ednaywilliams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with you. Jesus tells us at Matthew 5 that: 31 “besides this is been stated, ‘Whoever divorces his spouse, enable him supply her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 yet I say to you that whoever divorces his spouse for any reason except sexual immorality motives her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who's divorced commits adultery." So a divorce is permissable IF there is adultry; even even with the undeniable fact that both also commit adultry in the journey that they remarry, Jesus tells us this sin is impugned to the ex-better half who led to the marital breakup. also, a divorced lady is loose to remarry with out sin if her ex-husband dies (Romans 7:2). i imagine you're misinterpreting a million Cor. 7:10-16; if a believer marries an unbeliever, the believer isn't to teach round and divorce the unbeliever because of his or her unbelief; if the unbeliever leaves the marriage, the bond is damaged. we are "stated as to peace" (in different words, we are to maintain on with the practise of the Holy Spirit) to no matter if we could continuously remarry. The sanctification of the unbelieving kinfolk from the marriage does not mean they're saved. Peace.
2016-12-01 01:16:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to have him turn it around in the divorce that you are with someone else, I would wait, plus it will make you feel better about yourself, because you know that you will be divorced, and then not cheating, because until the papers are final you are still married and it is cheating
2006-08-22 19:26:57 · answer #10 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you are separated, you are basically living apart but without the finalization of a divorce. Discretion would be most important.
Let's not have what you do be brought in to court. Morally, I will not comment.
2006-08-22 19:33:08 · answer #11 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋