What is wrong with me?!?

Question

For some funny reason the way I feel about sex has changed since I had my daughter. My daughter is 2 but I don't and haven't had a large appetite for sex since. Sometimes I really have to force myself to do it because I feel so dirty. I talked with my husband but he really doesn't have answers. What is wrong with me?!

I don't think that I am a mental case (crazy as ever!). I just need to know things that could be wrong and reason why!?

Answer 1

I have also experienced this after my daughter and sometimes I still do. Part of the reason could be that you are very distracted with caring for the baby and cleaning house or working that by the end of the day you are just tired and that is the last thing on your mind. Or if you are taking birth control pills or anti-deppressants, they could also be making you feel like you don't really want sex. A good thing to do is maybe discuss this with your doctor, there could be many reasons for this, it is different in every woman that has this happen. You are not alone.

Answer 2

What happens to you is not infrequent.
Feeling excited about your husband is something that easily goes and comes back as soon as you have problems, feel resented against him, or just dead bored to have sex with the same person.
Sure, making love without being enough excited, or even with no desire at all will make you feel dirty. It is not about the fact of sex in itself, but the way you are forcing yourself to do what you do not want to do. Just think about other circumstances where you might have done something little "dirtier" but do not even feel like that because it was the appropriate behavior in the right moment.
Your husband can not give you answers that you have to search inside you.
Feminine desire is very complicated, feminine sexual life as well. Having a child changes a lot, especially when loosing privacy and feeling limited or invaded.
Fear to get pregnant again could be one reason. Just having lost desire with your husband another one.
Sorry for being repetitive: nobody can give you the answer that you need to this question, excepting the fact that not necessarily something must be wrong with you, it is more likely that something is wrong in your relationship.
In case of having problems because your husband is pushing you too much to have sex despite the fact that you don't want, just watch out, it is better to seek for a good counselor than feeling raped by your husband. Being married does not give any longer the right to have sex disregarding your mood or wish.

Answer 3

Sex, I think, is a beautiful thing, and a special moment. It can be romantic, or fun, or rough, or very passionate, or even funny, and sometimes it can be a combination of these things. But I wouldn't want to have sex if I felt dirty. Ask yourself, and then later your husband too, Why don't you feel those positive feelings about sex? Has sex lost its appeal for some reason, and what is it? Sex is also very much a special connection between two people. It's a physical and an emotional connection. Maybe you're not feeling the emotional connection anymore.

Answer 4

I see 3 possibilities here.

1) Post Partum Depression - It can cause all sorts of wierdness, not just feeling 'blue'.

2) Fear of pregnancy - Maybe you're just scared of getting pg again subsonciously.

3) Something else entirely.

The solution is to talk to your doctor (or her nurse) and tell them what has been going through your mind since you had your daughter. They can help you decide what is going on and treat you medically if necessary. There's no shame in taking something, if they think you need it.

It would have been much better for you if you'd talked to your doctor right away instead of letting it build into something that has lasted 2 years. Something isn't right and you can feel it, so go and call and get some help. *hugs*

Answer 5

I went through that also. The doctor told me that women are turned on mentally before they are physically. If you are under stress due to work or raising your child it could be the cause. Also medications can effect your libido. Just try to relax and then go for sex. Have your husband give you a massage and let it lead into sex. Set up a romantic night for the two of you.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes hormones that are triggered by childbirth cause some women to continue to have strong maternal instincts long after having given birth. I'm sure that once your daughter is a little older, you will begin feeling like a sexual being again, not just a mommy, and your previous sexual urges and feelings will return.

Answer 7

Sometimes women go thru this. I did. Itll get better...If its bothering you that bad, you should ask your doctor about it. Go to the library, read up on the subject, maybe thatll give you some answers. The female body is very mysterious, hormones and all. I went thru the same thing. I know how youre feeling. Its been 13 yrs since I had my son, and I still get that feeling some times.

Answer 8

Depends on how much in your life you actually had sex. Maybe having your child lets you know what having sex can cause if you aren't careful. Maybe you don't want that to happen again. People's minds change after a while. It is okay. I have never had sex and I can't wait until I find somebody to have sex with.

Answer 9

Your a mommy now, so I think that it is normal that you aren't as interested in sex as you used to be. You could be afraid that your daughter will know what your doing and maybe that makes you feel bad. But trust me she doesn't know and it shouldn't make you feel dirty...it's a beautiful thing shared by two people who love each other. But don't force yourself either

Answer 10

It sounds hormonal. Something could have not gone back to normal after your pregnancy.

The #1 hormone - because it can affect the production of all the other hormones - is insulin. Ask your doctor for a complete physical including a fasting insulin blood test . Ask for a copy of your results. 10 or higher is abnormal for an adult.

Also ask for a saliva test. This test will tell you if any of your feminine hormones are not at the best levels. I do not like doctors who prescribe hormones for any problem without testing first. When that happened to me - the shot he gave me switched me from low blood sugar to diabetes.

Your symptoms of feeling sex is dirty could be related to low blood sugar. Anxieties and compulsions sometimes can be. You may want to check out www.hufa.org, and click on the symptoms link to check yourself out.