I want to get pregnant but my dad will disown me......?

Question

I am 22 yrs old and me and my bf have been together for 1 1/2 years he really wants a child more than me even. I really want to but i have been taking birth control and used plan B a few times to provent pregnancy with out him knowing. The problem is my father, I love him of course and I want (need) his approval which expachally after tonight I am sure I am not going to get it. He hates my bf and we are not married, I don't agree with marrage so i'll never be married (thats a different story) I think I am ready I know my bf is, I don't know how to deal with this fear of my father.

Answer 1

your 22 years old. its your decision not your fathers. if your willing to take respnsibility of a child then do it. you dont need you fathers approval. i dont believe in marriage either, me and my bf been together for 21/2 years and got 2 kids. its working out great. goo luck

Answer 2

Heyee Sandra,
I believe you not agreeing with marriage has a part in this too. I'm not sure if your father wants you married or agrees with you too but you said he doesn't like your bf. I know you two have been together for over a year, but you guys are still just dating. If you guys really love each other, I think you should continue to be together until maybe you guys can be engaged. (I know that's close to marriage, but people get engaged and stay engaged and dont believe in getting married in fear of adding pressure to the relationship)

You also have to understand that your father is still your father. No matter how much you think you and your dad are from two different worlds and he's disagreeing with you on something you feel strongly about, you need to see where he's coming from. You said he's very much is against your bf, but does he have a good reason to be?

Have you and your bf thought about this child if you do end up conceiving? Parenting? How it can be raised? I'm sorry hon, to mention this but what if things do not work out between you and your bf.. and this happens after maybe becoming pregnant?

Seriously talk to your bf about this because I'm sure you know having a child is a life-changing decision. You might think I may not know much, because I'm still a student, myself but you know.. its a CHILD. I'm know you're a smart girl to make the right choices.

With your father, talk again to him, even though it will def. be difficult. I'm not sure if your religious or the spirtual type but mentally prepare yourself before speaking to your father. Prayer is strong and works. He will always love you, even though disagreeing about this will make that kind of hard to see. Be careful, take care* Hope I helped! =)

Answer 3

You're an adult. Why are you worried about what your dad says? Is your dad paying your rent? Are you still living at home? It's time to live your own life and not have your mind made up by the men in your life.
My other thing is it sounds like you want to have this baby to please your boyfriend. Why else would you be hiding the fact that you've used the plan B from him?
It's your choice if you wish to have a baby and not have a husband, I just think that's not a good way to raise a kid. Marriage is there for a reason; to ensure both parents are there to raise the kid. Although it doesn't always work out that way, it's less likely the kid will grow up without a dad that way.
I think it's best if you hold off on this decision until you are ready to make the choice not because you're worried about dad & not because you don't want to upset the boyfriend. Neither one of them are going to be dealing with 9 months of pregnancy + 18 or so years of mothering. Only you can decide how your life is going to turn out. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well some people say to forget ur dad and live ur life, but will it be worth it?? U've only been w/ ur b/f for a little over a year and u both want a baby? Why not get a place together if you're not already for at least a year. When u live w/ someone u really get to know them, then maybe u'll both have great careers and maybe even marriage, then ur Dad will be so proud, he'll be thrilled to learn a grand baby is on the way. I'd listen to ur Dad, he's just trying to help u, he's been there. Be patient, ur so young still. What if u have this baby, and ur b/f and you don't work out? U'll be alone w/ a child to support.

Answer 5

Do you and your boyfriend have jobs? Are you self supporting? Especially, is your boyfriend employed and in a stable job? If you get pregnant and have a baby, you will not be able to work for awhile. You will have to depend on your boyfriend. Can he support all of you while you don't work?

At 22, you should be able to make your own decisions. It's a shame your father doesn't seem to be very understanding. Still, he has reason to be concerned.

You might want to rethink the marriage thing. You have a kid, or more as time go on. What happens if your boyfriend get killed? Anything he has could go to his family, not you. There is no legal connection between you, so you don't inherit. Also, if he is hurt and can't speak for himself for his hospital care, you very likely will have no say. Again, there is nothing legally connecting the two of you. His family will say what treatment he gets. If you own a house together and he dies, his family might get his half of the house. Could you deal with that? Marriage isn't just between two people, it's a legal document that spells out that relationship for legal needs.

Answer 6

Pregnancy is a huge step. After your glowing pregnancy the real world hits, hard. You have a screaming baby, 30 extra pounds, you are out of work, bills stack up and you don't get any sleep. You eat, bathe and do laundry with a baby in your arms. You need to make sure you are REALLY ready.

I am always ready for 9 months of attention but then you have a lifetime of stress and responsibility. Add your dad's disappointment to it and it won't be puppy dogs and roses.

Wait a little while, grow up, experience life. Trust me, you want to, there is a lot out there that ou can do without a car seat and baby bottles.

Think a LOT longer about this decision.

Answer 7

Having a child outside of a committment is not a wise choice, especially for such a young adult like yourself. Your dad is looking out for YOU. Why would you want to make your life difficult by choosing to be a young, single mother? That is probably one of the most challenging paths you
could take. It's unfair to your child to be put at such a disadvantage.

You haven't even been with your boyfriend long enough to know if he's father material. What will you do when you're 8 months pregnant and he decides he no longer wants to be a dad?

Answer 8

Are you financially able to provide for this child so that it is not subjected to the horrific nightmare of day care? NICHD compiled for decades it specific and clear about the damage done by a mother who is away from her infant for more than 10 hours a week.

If you have a fear of your father than prevents you from decisions you think you believe in, you are definitely not ready to be a mom. That's a pretty simple guideline.

I would never disown a child of mine, but I would be so desparately disappointed if he couldn't get his personal life together enough to provide a solid home for his child.

Children with unmarried parents do much worse, on average, than children whose parents make the committment to be together, good and bad, thick and thin, bored and excited.

Answer 9

Sandra, look at yourself, your bf, and your life thru your father's eyes. Why does your Dad hate your bf? Does he see something you don't? Take a good, honest look at the situation before you do something you may regret. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but I think a baby is a BIG responsibility and maybe you should re-evaluate your situation. Can you support a baby financially and emotionally (without your bf's help), because let's face it, he's in the picture now, but what about a year or 10 years from now? Whatever you decide.......GOOD LUCK and God Bless.

Answer 10

My husband & I tried for 2 yrs to get pregnant. My parents knew we were trying & knew that we weren't able to. We got a surprise & ended up with our beautiful little girl. However, When I had to call my parents to tell them (they live 8 hrs away- so I couldn't just stop on by) I had major butterflies in my stomach. I DID NOT want to tell them. I just had to blurt it out that that was why I had been so sick. My mom just started cracking up. Not the reaction I was expecting at all. I don't even know why I thought they'd be upset. I guess it's cuz I'll always remember the things they said to me growing up & how dissapointed they'd be if I ever got pregnant, did drugs, etc...
Point is, the reaction probably will not be the one you have in your head. He may be a little dissapointed at first, but when he realizes he's getting a grandchild, he will be happy. At worst case scenario, if he's mad, he won't be once he holds that baby.

Answer 11

Somehow you must know your father is right or you would not care what he thinks so much. You are only 22 years old, go out and enjoy life without worrying about raising a baby. Travel, work, go to school there is a whole world out there go and enjoy it you can have a baby later when you are 100 % sure!!!!