i am 23 yrs old Indian girl. Me a graduate and doing M.B.A. I am working for Youth Council in Canada for Youth Exchange Programme.I have been raped at 7 yrs old by my baby- sitter, i was sexually abused by my dad and mom, my dad used to beat me every day, i am unwanted child as they wanted to abort me but could not as my mom could be in critical state as it was cesarian section and it is illegal too. I was raped by my boy friend and his friend in a car. I am really lonely i just want to marry a guy, but knowing my past no one wants to. A guy in USA wants to marry me , he is coming to canada this week should i marry him, we are net friends and i met him on matrimonial site , he is 36 yrs old guy. and he knows my past, and he is very keen to marry me . V chatted on net for past 2 yrs, he is engaged to a girl in India but he wants to leave her and marry me as he wants to see me happy! I have no one who i can say as my own, and i need love , God helped and i studied, can i marry?
2006-08-22 16:11:37 · 27 answers · asked by isha s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to find the right person to marry. The things that happened to you are no fault of your own. A man will love you regardless of what has happened to you. You are young, wait until you find someone you truely love.
2006-08-22 16:14:30 · answer #1 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey please take your time with this! Don't marry someone just to be married. With your troubled past, you're going to be more likely to jump into things just because you want to escape. Only do this if you are absolutely positive you are willing to make a life long commitment to this person. It's not a good sign that he's engaged to someone else, and that you only know each other online.
Don't think your never going to find anyone else, that isn't the case. You were a victim, and anyone who holds that against you isn't worth your time anyway. The right man is out there, but I'm not sure it's this one. Look for someone that you get along with well in person, and go from there. Rushing into marriage is very likely to backfire.
2006-08-22 23:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would just say that a man who has left someone for u can leave u for some other girl. u need something good,have faith in God n u'll get good someday
i also want to give u one advice, plz dont speak up ur past in front of everybody n dont let anybody know ur pains, nowadays ppl just luv to play with others emotions, so they may harm u rather than helping u.iam not saying this to hide from ur spouse as this wud be cheating, but tell him when u know him well(but b4 marriage as u never know how he may react)
all the best n have faith in GOD, he is the one who has given u pain n he can only help u out n give u all the happiness in ur life, just wait for the right person n right time.
2006-08-23 04:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really sad. I am sorry too that people so close to you treated you like this. I feel that you should not meet this guy from US. He may not have good intentions. Looking at your past and seeing you desperate to get married, i feel he may take advantage of the situation. Very few friendships of the net are successful ... in most cases men have cheated..... if he can leave his would be wife for you ... in future he will you for some body else. he is not trust worthy. try to find some true and good friend around you.
2006-08-23 00:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by guest 007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry to hear all that you have been through. If you have not already done so, please seek professional help from a mental health therapist trained to deal with these types of deep seeded issues. You have sufferred enormous traumas in your life. I understand that you are lonely but I don't believe that marrying this man is the answer for you. If he is engaged to a girl in India, who knows how many other girls he may be involved with. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. If you are smart enough to be working on a Master's degree that shows that you have strength because you have managed to get yourself that far despite your traumatic background. Pray to God for comfort and guidance and strength and courage. My every instinct tells me that marrying this man would be a huge mistake.
take care and god bless
2006-08-22 23:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Isha how can you trust a person who himself is breaking the trust of another girl.It is sure he is not clear at heart had it been he would have told her about you before.When we are broken it is obvious we just want to rush in relationship because of our insecurities,cauz' we need a protective shell , but that shell which you are trying to grab is fake. After what you havee gone through it is quite tough to stay alone but dear you are young and dynamic forget your past and concentrate on your work, please don rush in it cauz I am sure he is going to marry that girl in India too and tell you that he has done it only for his parents but he does not love her. Hey the person should be clear at heart, become something in life and don be emotional , tell him you need 1 more year to think if he is true he wiil wait fir yiu a year more but if he is not you will certainly know it. Please don't invite him to increase your pain. Love is not only between a boy and girl go to old age home, an orphanage you will get an unconditional love their please try it it will change your life.
2006-08-22 23:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by bhushan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious about this and this isn't some kind of stupid prank question the answer is NO you should not marry him! You don't marry someone because they want to make you happy or feel sorry for you. You get married because you are mutually in love and want to spend the rest of your lives together. Don't do it!
2006-08-22 23:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that you should take such a hasty decision, as you have already suffered a lot.Meet that guy, talk to him , understand him and see whether he is able to understand you and your feelings and emotions, which is of outmost importance. By the time, you make real good and true friends without being involved physically and stay cool. you can mail me also and we can be good friends and keep guiding you. But be carefull before taking any decision.
2006-08-22 23:59:29 · answer #8 · answered by dheeraj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your past. The thing is, he's engaged to a girl in india, you shouldn't let him leave her for you, I mean it's great that he understand about your past but, I think you should find a guy who is single and isn't engaged, and who loves you for you, and would marry you despite your past. and hope that he won't abuse you in anyway.
2006-08-22 23:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by superboredom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two really care for eachother you should marry. I'm sorry to hear your story about your past, you deserve to be happy for once in your life. Love can find anyone and it will change your life. I never planned on meeting my husband, he was married when I met him and he's 14 years older than me, but we met and fell in love. Good luck sweetie.
2006-08-22 23:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by Muslimah 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋