i am 23 yrs old Indian girl. Me a graduate and doing M.B.A. I am working for Youth Council in Canada for Youth Exchange Programme.I have been raped at 7 yrs old by my baby- sitter, i was sexually abused by my dad and mom, my dad used to beat me every day, i am unwanted child as they wanted to abort me but could not as my mom could be in critical state as it was cesarian section and it is illegal too. I was raped by my boy friend and his friend in a car. I am really lonely i just want to marry a guy, but knowing my past no one wants to. A guy in USA wants to marry me , he is coming to canada this week should i marry him, we are net friends and i met him on matrimonial site , he is 36 yrs old guy. and he knows my past, and he is very keen to marry me . V chatted on net for past 2 yrs, he is engaged to a girl in India but he wants to leave her and marry me as he wants to see me happy! I have no one who i can say as my own, and i need love , God helped and i studied, can i marry?
2006-08-22 16:11:04 · 15 answers · asked by isha s 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
you can marry and do what ever you want in life i do think you need therapy for everything you have been through,
but 36 years old??? do you no him well?
don't be rushing in to a big commitment like marriage
2006-08-22 16:16:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help - 4 sure, U deserves it, but how ?????? except verbal consolation & consultations, what else V all can do from distance of miles ? Why didn't U lodged a complaint about the abuses ? U must have someone of your own, relatives or someone close like a friend or someone, someone whom U trust the most. There R many a such questions arises within, but anyway, there still exists some real good persons, like almost all here who have answered your question in response, & as I agree with almost all of them, but I liked the idea of Tony T, he's more convincing, hence, just consider everything B4 moving ahead any further steps. Afterall, I do really care for U since U R from my motherland, The Great India & hence eager to know more about U & further developments. Pl. do not hesitate to contact me on IM anytime, my friend. looking forward to hear from U soon. All the best & May god bless U.
What happens to the girl in India, with who the guy of your's engaged? thought ever ? May leave U too 4 someone else, may B. So B careful B4 deciding anything serious such as marriage, which may wait as U still not that old enough or overaged. Better concentrate on your career. Forget the past, look at better tomorrow with confidence B someone & remember me if U believe me your own, if only U feel like. ( R U Gujju Isha.?)
2006-08-26 07:33:50 · answer #2 · answered by JD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you should marry just because someone is willing to marry you and they feel bad for you. you are still young. Go out and meet others, don't pick them through the internet. what if they are psychotics? You should go into couseling or some kind of help. Sorry to hear about your past, but thats what it is. Learn to love yourself before you marry someone you don't even know well. Chatting with them on the internet isn't much. Take care of yourself & God Bless
2006-08-25 19:16:53 · answer #3 · answered by cc_12501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm very sorry for what happened to you in the past. NO one should discriminate against you for what happened to you because it was not your fault. Be careful when you meet the man from the US, and don't rush into anything. You should marry him if you truly love him and feel you can have a life with him. He sounds like a great guy if he wants to see you happy. Good luck!
2006-08-22 16:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by Tweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things:
#1 Right when you feel like your falling asleep ask your Self this question 'why am I limiting my Self?'
Listen to your Heart when you wake up in the morning. Do this 2 or 3 times.
#2 Go to a mirror look deep into your eyes(not at your eyes) and tell your Self I love you, and I honor who you are and what you are. After you do this listen to your Heart. Do this before you to bed, and after you wake up. Do it for a few weeks and your Life will change.
2006-08-22 16:36:28 · answer #5 · answered by aldiaz2wheare 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious??? That is a very sad story and I feel for you. You should not allow your past to convince you that you have no value or that tomorrow in your life will be as bad as yesterday. You are a human and you have much to offer the world. Here is a beautiful thing I have always tried to live by. Maybe you can find some peace in it. It is called DISIDERATA and no one knows when it was written or by who, but its history goes back for hundreds of years.
The Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Everyone needs to be needed and loved and because of your situation, I fear you may be vulnerable and take chances you should not. That is a bad thing. There are tooooo many wolves and parasites in the world today and they will victimize people like you. BE CAREFUL. I would definitely tell all of my friends who this guy is and give them his name and stay in contact with them and let him know that you will stay in contact with them and if you do not, that they will contact the authorities. If he has any wierd ideas, this hopefully will ruin his intentions. If he is honest and sincere, that is a very good thing, but you cannot take people at face value. Do not go anywhere away from your friends or your environment until you are absolutely sure of his intentions and honesty.
2006-08-22 16:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by Tony T 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Certainly you can marry if you choose to do so. But do go for some psychological counselling to help yourself heal from the abuse you suffered. Otherwise I think you might be in danger of always becoming a victim in any relationship. I wish you well in all of your endeavours. Good luck!
2006-08-22 16:39:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him ya so!! If he became became off through it, he would have purely disregarded you and in no way teased you about it. tell him, he'd be an fool now to not understand you've been crushing on him, and your purely sorry it took you writing a be conscious to figure it out. yet you gotta say it with a grin and a touch ***** attitude. do not act strange or diffrent....believe me, he teased you about it, this is fantastic. Now flow ask him what he's gonna do about it, or, I desire the ambitious approach, and purely supply him a large ole kiss and get it over with...good success
2016-12-01 01:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by goldie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its upto u ,if u feel that that gay can make u happy that u can do but i feel u should not marry. Marriage is not utimate goal in life you bcan thing beyond that u r inteeligent , wise use ur brain power for betterment of life and use ur life for other If someone proposed from their side then u marry that person but this gay is not u r cup of tea.
2006-08-23 04:53:33 · answer #9 · answered by Guddddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear your story really made me to cry. Feel very sorry to hear all this. I straight way suggest you not to marry that guy coz he is very old for you and at this age i dont know wat is he want to get from you. I feel something fishy about it. I think he is just havin physical interest in you. STAY AWAY from him Please.
U still have some years to get marry. So meet people, socialize with them i am sure u will get some one of your age.
I know its hard but please try to forget your past by doing YOGA or do prayer. Get rid of this feeling that you are a loser actually who abused you they r the loser.
TAKE CARE DEAR.
want to listen from your side mail me to shakes_u@yahoo.co.in
2006-08-22 18:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by shakes_u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋