since I had my son 8 months ago I have no interest in sex. I still have sex w/ my husband but I feel like i'm being lame in bed because I can't get into it. It's not that I feel unattractive, (I've lost all my baby weight and then some, and I have no stretch marks) I don't understand why i'm like this right now. Anyone else experience this problem?
2006-08-22 15:24:05 · 21 answers · asked by autumn r 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Im' breastfeeding and taking zoloft for post partam
2006-08-22 15:39:38 · update #1
Well, you listed several reasons why you're not interested in sex. One, you're taking Zoloft, a notorious libido killer. Two, you are breastfeeding which *can* leave you all "touched out" by the end of the day and *can* dry up vaginal lubrication due to hormones (although I personally had the first problem but never the second). Three, you suffered from postpartum depression. All of things together are likely to be the cause of your disinterest in sex.
Consult your doctor and see if you can switch meds, I understand wellbutrin does not have the sexual side effects that meds do. Breastfeeding at 8 months should be getting better, hopefully baby is sleeping well at night and giving you time to yourself.
Are you exercising at all? That helps lift the spirits, gets you out of the house and makes you feel fit. Have you been able to get away for the weekend, or at least an evening with your husband? Even getting away for the night with girlfriends can have a positive effect on your sex life because you can gab, hang out and relax and return refreshed. I urge you to seek support with your mom, sister, girlfriends, health care professionals and/or support groups. Be honest with your husband if you haven't already, maybe he's willing to give you a little more TLC and help around the house. I know those things always do wonders for *my* libido!
Good luck, I hope you are feeling better soon.
2006-08-22 16:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Patience!!! You had a massive hormonal change to your body for nine months. The body is not intended to get pregnant again until the current baby is just about two. So, your hormones change to keep you from getting pregnant again. (not that you cannot), but your body just keeps you from being interested.
Part of it is because you are tired, even if you were a deep sleeper before you got pregnant, you now even hear when the baby's breathing pattern changes. You are more sensitive to certain sounds and smells now. Even if you don't remember it, you probably wake up several times a night.
During that nine months of pregnancy, the baby takes a lot out of you. And will do so to your own body's need's detriment. Just because you lost your baby weight does not mean the body is back to normal.
As the child gets older, your natural sexual urges will return. There is a natural order and reason for everything. Right now are the "maternal years". A little faith and patience and all will right itself at the proper time.
2006-08-22 22:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well first let me say this...the first person who answered about nursing...that isn't true. I nursed my first baby and I am currently nursing my second. Right now I have the opposit problem...I can't get enough. We can finish and be tired and all that and I will want more. But not true with the first baby. I too went on antidepressants and totally lost all sex drive. When I asked the Dr about it they said it was just my hormones still being out of wack.
I experienced this for 3 years...I stopped taking my antidepressants and my sex drive came back. Depending on your symptoms I would ask to either have the dosage changed to a lower dose, change meds, or reevaluate if you need them. When I finally talked to a Dr that would listen to me instead of just druging me making me feel like a zombie my sex drive came back. Also try taking some time to yourself, away from the stressful situation where you can just let go and be you. Not mom, wife, sister, daughter ect. Just be you. After my husband sent me on a day trip I really felt refreshed and could actually relax enough to start enjoying sex.
Good luck and I hope things get better. Although mine lasted 3 years with my son, I sure am making up for it now with my daughter. Now he can't keep up with me. (no that isn't a bad thing)
2006-08-22 22:53:46 · answer #3 · answered by evrythnnxs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have an 8 month old son as well, feel very lucky that you have lost all the wieght and have no stretch marks, lol. I am just starting to get my sex drive back and I didn't even nurse, I think it's just because I am always so exausted from keeping up with him and our 3 year old girl, my advice would be to have grandma take the baby for a weekend and go somewhere nice and get some R&R with your hubby.
2006-08-22 22:42:24 · answer #4 · answered by iloveyellowelephants 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, it's totally normal to not have a sex drive while nursing. Many mothers have been there including myself. After one year it will pick back up. And actually I have to say that when it's your first baby it's hard because you're the "mom". And for myself it was hard to feel sexy and be the "mom". It will take you some time to adjust to that but it'll work out and probably when you begin nursing less and you and your baby begin sleeping more. Also, the novelty of the baby has to wear off a little. For me with my first baby that took like two years! I swear for the first year all I looked at was my new baby. Don't worry, just talk to your husband and most likely he'll understand. There are actual hormones involved in breastfeeding that contribute to a lack of sex drive. I still nursed my daughter until she was nineteen months and my son who is sixteen months I continue to nurse. My husband understood and supported me although I had feelings similar to yours with my first baby. Don't feel guilty about it, your intentions are true but try to understand where he's coming from and that in time you will be back to "normal." Speaking of normal, after having a baby things change incredibly regarding intimacy with the husband. In time you and your husband will adjust to that and even embrace it. Good luck and take care :)
2006-08-22 23:21:13 · answer #5 · answered by 1hAppyMoM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your probably exhausted and really busy taking care of your baby. Your mind is on other things. Plus with a baby hanging on you all day, chances are you probably just want some time to alone. If none of that fits, you can blame it on the Zoloft. Lower sex libido is a side effect.
Oh, and I'm right there with you!
2006-08-25 22:04:14 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you're talking about. i am the same way. I have had 3 kids and nursed the last two and you described exactly how I feel. Hormones from breastfeeding is a big problem from what my dr said, also some antidepressants have sexual side effects. Good luck.
2006-08-24 03:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by julie g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem it took me A good year and I still wasn't into sex I had to make myself give it up, but he didn't care if it was lame or not as long as he got it. I think pregnancy does that to some women I even asked my doctor for help and she told me to get some kind of herbal stuff I can't remember the name try asking your doctor for advice.
2006-08-22 22:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by honeygirland 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not an unusual problem. It might be a challenge, but try talking to your doctor about causes of decreased sexual interest. If you cannot talk to doctor, then get a referral for a counselor. There are probably physical and emotional reasons, and it will vary from woman to woman.
2006-08-22 22:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by Freddie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make a night for sex when i first had my son who is now 11 months old we made one night sex night that was a night that hubby was off work and helped with the kids that way i could relax a bit before sex try that it might work
2006-08-22 22:47:39 · answer #10 · answered by christie w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋