My sister just found out her husband of 10 yrs. was having an affair. She is devastated. I found out that her mother-in-law KNEW he was having an affair and actually has some gifts the other woman gave her son put away. If I tell my sister she will lose all faith in man-kind. Her mother-in-law treats her good and has acted like she loves her. I don't know why she would help her son cover an affair (2yr affair). My sister has always been good with her in-laws almost too good. If I don't tell her and she finds out later that I knew the mother-in-law knew and helped she will hate me. My sister and her husband have 2 boys (9yrs twins). My sister is considering marriage therapist to see if her marriage might be saved BUT HOW IF THE MOTHER -IN-LAW stabbed her in the back. Should I tell my sister? The mother -in-law doesn't know that I found the letters , gift ect.she has in her draw and a birthday card the other woman sent the mother-in-law. I currently have the "goods" in my possesion. HELP
2006-08-22 15:21:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You take that stuff to her NOW. She needs to know that she cant trust ANY of them! Did you confront her mother-in-law??? Your sister is going to be devestated if she thinks she cant trust you either....Go NOW.....RUN..Dont Walk. Take Care,hun. God Bless you and your sister.
2006-08-22 15:33:34 · answer #1 · answered by mrssmokestack003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it would be rather hard to do, my first instinct was to tell you to call the mother in law on what you found. After thinking about it, I think it would be much easier to confront the hubby when your sister isn't around and tell him, that either he tells, or you do because you aren't going to allow him to hurt your sister like this. Unbelievable when it comes the mother-in-law. It sounds as though someone failed to cut the apron strings on that one. I don't care how nice the lady is, I hope her conscience is eating her alive. You could help it along by sending her a nice letter of your own anonymously explaining what you know. Then pray that guilt gets the better of her and she does the right thing. As for your sister, give her crappy husband the chance to come clean, if he doesn't then yes, I'm sorry to say that you have to tell her. You know this and you'd want her to do the same for you. It's what sisters do...protect each other. Then just be there to pick up the pieces honey, cuz she's going to need it. I wish you and her well....the hubby on the otherhand...you don't want to know what I wish for him. I was cheated on once....Karma does work.
2006-08-22 15:35:31 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no proof that it wasn't just an emotional affair. If they were found out they really have no reason to lie about it. Talk to your husband about how you feel - but the key thing here is that you need to truly forgive your husband and your sis in law - when you truly forgive them you won't rub it in their face, and you will move on. You shouldn't leave your marriage over this. You are more than capable of forgiveness if you truly want it. You should also ask your husband to go to counseling with you. He is the one who cheated - and there are issues there that need to be dealt with.
2016-03-27 01:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a delicate matter indeed.
Don't blame the mother-in-law, though. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Emphatize a bit. What if it was your son? I'm not a mother-in-law, yet....but how would I react? I would talk some sense into my son....Do you know if she never attempted to do this? The other woman wrote a letter to her....was it to influence the Mom's negative attitude towards her for trying to wreck her son's marriage? Are you absolutely sure that her mother-in-law didn't try her best to save her son's marriage?
Her hands were tied....why would a mother tell her son's wife something so devastating? It wasn't her call. Why would a mother risk having her son's wife file for divorce? Honestly,...what would you have done? Besides this is not about her. Her son's action at this age ...isn't her responsibility anymore. I am positive that she tried her best to make them discontinue their affair..
2006-08-22 15:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way you go on this can open a can of worms. Does the mother -in-law knwo you know? If not then te only way she will know if you tell her. Do yu want to draw the mother-in-law in the middle at thsi point. It may come out in mariage counceling and reach a positive outcome. Liek you said their is the kids..
2006-08-22 15:28:42 · answer #5 · answered by ron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this were me, I would confront the mother-in-law about it and give her a chance to tell your sister first, with the key words in there, "if you don't I will", most importantly you have to look out for your sister. Family should be the most important thing for you!
Good luck!~
2006-08-22 15:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take the "goods" to your sister and tell her what has been going on. Then, support your sister in whatever decision she makes w/the info.
2006-08-22 15:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by dakotanmisty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give them to your sister it is her marriage and in-laws. She has a right to know she is being cheated on and lied to.
2006-08-22 15:26:00 · answer #8 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't help your sister to delay telling her about the MIL. It doesn't really matter that her MIL would participate in the cheating. He's the one that cheated.
2006-08-22 15:30:39 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are her sister and it is your duty to help your sister
2006-08-22 15:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋