I was recently FORCED to admit I was gay/bi whatever (not made up my mind yet!) and my mates asked if I fancied them... Do they ask if their female friends fancy them? I think not!!
It annoys me that people think like that! WHY would I fancy my mates? Just because they happen to be the same sex I go for?! I think gays should be thought of as women as they'd be a lot more understood. Not every woman fancies every man, and not every man fancies every woman so why's it all change for gays??!!
It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable that men may think I fancy them, when I don't. They may be good looking but that's not what I go for.
2006-08-22 15:17:26 · 32 answers · asked by ©Wayne© 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
All good answers!! Thanks everyone!! I especially like the comment about 'labels are for clothes, not people'.
Now why the hell is my Avatar sad?? Don't know how to change its mood! Lol
2006-08-22 15:42:46 · update #1
its an age old stereotype so get used to it. Men are just lame, they don't assume every woman fancies them but their brains go haywired at the idea of gay/bi men and they suddenly think they are on the menu. All you can do is make it clear that you have a type and they are not it
2006-08-22 15:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by Donna : 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few things that strike me,
Most men have a big ego, and expect everything on legs to fancy them, they all think they are attractive, although most are not. Either they are scared or secretly flattered, both of which they wouldnt admit too.
I do think bi has the best of both worlds, the only time sitting on the fence can be beneficial :-).
I think there is no line to draw, life is not black and white, why be gay, bi, or straight, just be happy, labels are for clothes not for humans.
2006-08-22 15:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by Ozoid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell me about it. I recentally went to Salem State College in MA USA and I had to wonderful roommates. We hit it off and we had a great time. The summer started off great and we would spend alot of our free time playing sports and going out. Rumor around school was that I was gay, and i am, and never denied it. The rumor got back to my roommates and they automaically assumed that because i was gay that i liked all guys and since they were guys that i liked them. Yea I liked my roommates extremely much BUT only on a friendship level. I made that special bond. so because they were sheltered it ruined a possible long time friendshit and I was really upset.
Thats not what being gay is about. When a guy has girl friends they dont assume that all of them want to be there guy so why do they have to make the assumsion that i want to date them?
It really does make me feel awful.
But i think its because they dont know how to react to the situation so the ony way to get over it is by pushing it away and comming up with an excuse.
2006-08-22 17:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by tagdarryn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least your friends were open minded enought to ask questions about you. It must have been hard to be forced to come out to them - especially when you still might be trying to figure out just what exactly it means to be gay your self. And now hear you have to be the one to try and explain to them how it is.
I would just try and think long term about this. They are your friends, you want them in your life for a reason. Patiently instruct them how you want to be treated and correct any misconceptions they have about how you may be. Tell them that you arn't attracted to them and like them for who they are and that any way - you wouldn't ruin a friendship for a romp in the hay. How will they know if you don't tell them? They are human beings, not mind readers. You might be the only gay person they know! Be prepared to repeat your self a few times. They will catch on.
You will now make it easier for one of them if they are gay and plus they will know better how to treat gays in the future.
You have your work cut out for you and I wish you luck!
2006-08-22 16:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. My friend came out to some girls sitting at our table back a few years ago in school (I wasn't so bold) and the girls at the table actually scooted away from her! She had to tell them "You're not my type" but that still didn't put them at ease. Straight people don't like every single member of the opposite sex, so why shouldn't the same apply to gay/bi people?
2006-08-22 15:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by i luv teh fishes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are scared ,,, Although this is 2006 (almost 2007) people still think gay/bi men and women are greedy .. They want EVERYONE and are not selective .. This is just ignorance ... But it takes more than just a few years to correct the thoughts instilled by generations before us. Don't worry about it ... This is new to them and just give them a chance to adjust. You don't have to answer to anyone so just be yourself and don't allow other people to label you. :)
2006-08-22 15:27:03 · answer #6 · answered by lili 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always thought it odd that it was always the ugliest guy in any group that said "backs to the wall lads!" when confronted with gay guys. It was as if they were so desperate for someone to fancy them that they had to pretend that a gay guy might fancy them.
2006-08-23 04:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by n2mustaches 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where your coming from, I'm in the closet and in the past I been open in the local chat rooms and I've made some friends and yes some are straight and when someone says to me I don't mind being your friend just don't hit on me I tell them if you think I'm going to hit on you, you think to highly of yourself LOL. I have friends in real life that I've known all my life that don't know about me so it's true it's not like we jump every ones leg :)
2006-08-22 15:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by Super 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Do they ask if their female friends fancy them?'
err, yeah. normal, straight guys like to know if women fancy them and don't beat around the bush
it's more likely they're asking you because they're scared. they wanna know if you're gonna bum them the second they bend over. it's not egoticism thinking that a guy might fancy you, it's because they're kinda scared by you. this is why i have no gay friends
most guys couldn't care less if they found out a woman fancied them......in fact, most, including myself, would be happy....but to find out that one of your mates could be getting ahard-on over you is just not a nice feeling, you dig, fa.gg.ot?
2006-08-23 00:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is because they are unsure of their own sexuality, If you are secure in the knowledge you are straight, then why should a gay person be of any threat or concern?
I find it funny when a big fat, smelly, ugly. spotty bloke, on spotting an extrovert gay come in a bar for example, and will say something to the effect of" f.....g poof better not say anything to me! funny or what?
2006-08-23 10:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by phil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋