My ex and I divorced in April my children want to live with me and I can support them. what to do ?

Question

My ex lives with her sister and brother in law but her room is not in the same house as my childrens. She does not have the time for them because she is always out at the clubs. My son lives with me now but my 10 yr old daughter wants to as well what should I do. I can support both of them and still live a good life.

Answer 1

In the end, this is going to be your call. All of us on Yahoo!Answers won't really know the whole story of your and your children's lives. That being said, here's how I would approach it:

Write down what you and your ex can and cannot provide. Are you each emotionally stable? Will you give time to your children and their emotional and educational development? Do you each have support networks when you might not be available for your children immediately? Try to be as objective as possible.

Ultimately, if you think that you will be able to provide a better life overall for your daughter (i.e., it will be sufficiently better to make it worth putting her in a potential knock-down, drag-out expensive legal battle with your ex), then I'd suggest doing it. Obviously, it would be great if you could speak diplomatically with your ex to see if the idea is possible and whether she might even want it.

Good luck to you and your children.

Answer 2

You need to file a motion for change of placement. Unless your daughter is a very mature ten year old, chances are they are not going to award you placement based on just her wishes. But they will definately consider any testimony she has on the ex in regards to her lifestyle, who cares for your daughter, etc.

I also have a quick question...it is already court ordered that your son live with you? If not, make this known that he has been living with you...list the date he first moved in etc. Sorry, just re-read your question to make sure I covered everything.
Filing for placement isn't as complicated as everyone makes it out to be. You'll need to download the forms from your state website and file them with the clerk of courts. You are going to have to list a reason and one of the best reasons to list is "the best interests of the minor child". Courts like to hear this. If you already have your son, you can list the second reason as "maintaining the sibling relationship", which is another one the courts love. Chances are you ex is going to fight this, but if you stand your ground, you should come out okay. You also don't need to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer either. At this point in the process, unless the two of you start making horrendous accusations against each other, you can do it yourself pro-se. The courts will grant you lienancy is presenting your case (it won't be a regular trial...just a hearing to say your peace and express your wishes and concerns). Then either the judge will grant you placement or will order mediation to reach a compromise with the ex. If mediation is deemed inappropriate, meaning you can't reach a compromise, then they assign a social worker and a guardian adlitem for the kids. When this happens, the social worker interviews the children, as does the guardian adlitem and then they meet with you and your ex (separately of course). After that you'll receive a letter of what they recommend, followed by another hearing in front of the judge, who will then make a final order.

I really hope this works out for you. You sound like a really good guy to do the honorable thing for your children. Just remember, that although this process is long, it's not complicated and you can do it. I wish you well.

Answer 3

That is easy. Take residential custody of them and give them a good life. Allow the mother to see the children when she wants to. Let the kids see their mother and talk to her when they ask. Remember one little piece of information. The divorce happened between you and your wife. Reassure the kids that they had nothing to do with the divorce. You might be mad at your ex on occasions but never let the kids hear you call her names or talk bad about her in front of the kids. The children are a genetic part of the both of you. If you talk bad about their mother they will think they are bad because they know they are a part of her. I hope that makes sense. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

So, what is the question here? Yes, of course take your children in!! Give them a good, loving, stable home. Allow flexible time for them to visit their mom (never speak ill of her in front of the kids no matter how much she deserves it). You will be very surprised how fast the time will go by when your daughter turns 18. And when that day comes, you will be able to hold your head high and say that you were the father who protected his children and presented them with someone they could always turn to and look up to.

Answer 5

If you can provide for them and they would be better off with you then you can go to the courts and get custody.... the courts should have the children's best interest at heart at all times. Living with other adults who party is not safe for kids. I admire you for wanting to do what's best by your kids.

Good luck.

Answer 6

You go to the friend of court and ask for a custody hearing. You might want to have some character witnesses that know you both.

Answer 7

If the courtroom order has determined your newborn help there could be a date as to even as it begins and the quantity.You in no way stated what the up coming courtroom date is for. no matter if it really is about the newborn assist you could wait till the courtroom listening to and the choose makes the decision.also the state in which you filled your divorce is the position you contact the newborn help branch. once you've the wide type you could continuously call newborn help branch in that state you filled they could be in a position to help also.

Answer 8

Above all, protect and nurture the children. Sounds to me as though you've got the best chance at doing that. By all means have her live with you.

Answer 9

i think you know the answer but are asking for re assurance your kids need you!get your children and give them a life to be kids and not have to worry about where they will be living or who will watch them while their egg donor goes out to party.you are the only one who can help them so please do it!Thank goodness they have you that wants them and wants to take care of them you will be doing the right thing for all the right reasons

Answer 10

Have you asked your ex how she feels about this. There's a chance she'd give her to you. If not, file for custody if you are doing it for the right reasons. It sounds like you are. You'll need a good lawyer. Good luck. God Bless.