My boyfriend told me that if I got 'lonely' that I could have sex with someone else, as long as I didn't get pregnant, get an STD, or get attached to this other person. He meant it, because he wouldn't lie to me. I don't know what to do because with me, sex was never about love, it was always just a fu*k buddy situation. He keeps insisting but I don't want to, just in case. I love him with everything. Why is he telling me that having sex with another person is ok?
2006-08-22 15:04:56 · 12 answers · asked by Pirate_Wench 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He wouldn't do that to me. There aren't too many other people out there that are like me, and will treat him like that. He hasn't left his house, and is really depressed (His parents told me). I feel really bad for him, and I don't know what to do.
2006-08-22 15:09:31 · update #1
I could never leave him. I love him too much to do that. He calls me all the time and we talk for hours and hours. His parents call me because they are worried about him, because he just stays in the house all the time, and he just got out of the hospital. I need to be there, but I can't right now, because three other people that I work with are on vacation right now, so I can't take time off.
2006-08-22 15:13:15 · update #2
I just love how every single female answerer on here knows for a fact that your boyfriend cheated on you, or plans to do so, and tries to free himself of guilt. Of course, men do not genuinely have emotions and concept of 'altruism' is reserved for women only. Especially scorned women, who in the goodness of their heart guide other women - stupid as they might find them - to freedom from this male-dominated cruel world. But your boyfriend is neither a saint nor a devil in all likeliness, it's stupid to draw conclusions on what little 'we' know.
There are many reasons he could have for telling you that, should you feel the need, you're free to engage with others - his own agenda not chief among them per se. Sure, he might have the idea to find a local filly near and have his evil way - telling you to do the same so he's off the hook. But if he's in a frail state of mind because he's far from you, in love with you and suffering from a depression - I imagine it could be his own frustration that gave him this idea. An idea that in fairness is rather stupid, because you taking him up on it could disgust him. If it's a test though I don't know. I know guys, even cynical ones like myself, and we don't often use plots to test the ladies like they might us. Only a brilliant ploy could take a girl by surprise, and your boyfriend asking you to have sex with someone else isn't brilliant.
If you and him were together and had a great party to attend, but he would fall sick with fever the day before - he could also tell you to go, to have fun, to leave him for the night.. When really he'd want you to have that fun, but wouldn't like you to leave him either. It might be that sort of frustration here too. My advice would be to not be freaked out with the idea for that matter, but to gently confirm that you love him, wouldn't want to cheat on him and feel that such wouldn't be ok for him either. If he keeps on pressing for it after that though, you might want to listen to some of the vixens on here :o)
2006-08-23 01:46:16 · answer #1 · answered by McAtterie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be telling you it's okay as a test to see if you will do it and then of course it will be all about how you don't love him or else you wouldn't have done that. OR it could be that he himself is planning to have sex with someone else and feels like he is making it alright by allowing you to do it as well however if this is a serious relationship then you should both remain faithful.
It can be done trust me, I'm in a 5 year relationship at this point where neither of us has had sex with anyone else because we love each other and are willing to wait for each other because that's true love...if what you have with this guy isn't true love, then cut your losses and move on, life is too short to wait around when true love might be right around the corner.
2006-08-22 15:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by bbb_1211 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Maybe He's Doing It..And Because You Dont Know He Is..He Probably Feels Its Ok..But If Its Not..He Probably Trust You That Much..I Guess
2006-08-22 15:08:33 · answer #3 · answered by - Alexis. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's either testing your love or trying to make sure that if he has sex with someone else he won't be the only guilty party. Don't fall for it. Honestly? I'd recommend you find someone who wouldn't put you through such a childish test.
2006-08-22 15:10:48 · answer #4 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
McAtterie is right.
You have to trust your own judgement on this one. Your boyfriend sounds a little mixed up and confused. I wouldn't advise adding to his fragile state by doing anything that you feel would disrespect either of you or your relationship.
I hope you work things out...
2006-08-23 02:10:04 · answer #5 · answered by CC...x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-01 00:59:20 · answer #6 · answered by russnak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is saying it cuz he thinks that's what u want. guys think that girls have those great sexual urges that they cannot contorl. he is not telling u, go and sleep with everyone. if u love him, stick to it and don't do anything. wait for him to come back and enjoy him when he gets back. believe me, he will appreciate it :)
stand up for ur love :)
2006-08-22 15:13:18 · answer #7 · answered by Unicorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because he thinks he'll cheat while he's there and he wants you to too so he dosn't feel as bad for doing it. I'm sorry!
2006-08-24 14:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by dimondbacks7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have already or is going to. This way he has no guilt.
2006-08-22 15:07:44 · answer #9 · answered by LJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when that cats away i wil play
if u didnt get it i meant a sexual interaction with you
2006-08-23 09:13:38 · answer #10 · answered by baztian b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋