My husband is an emotional recluse and I wear my heart on my sleave. I have a hard time talking to him bc it is like talking to a robot. He has told me in the past that it is ok to have other people outside the marriage to turn to when you need something that you can't get in the relationship. Now I took that as any wife would... Good thing I trust him. So this weekend I told him I couldn't talk to him or confide in him and told him I would go outside the relationship to get it. He said ok, like it was nothing. Then I told him that from now on I would get whatever I needed that he couldn't give me from someone else. Should I have said that? He didn't seem to be phased by it though.
2006-08-22 14:49:29 · 15 answers · asked by Missy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't tell him that bc I want I want to cheat on him. If I can't share with my husband then I have no one to really talk to.
2006-08-22 15:05:41 · update #1
No, you probably shouldn't have said it, but based on his reaction, I'm not sure it was a bad thing to say either. I know you said it to get some type of reaction with emotion from him, but I'm sitting here wondering why you'd marry someone who offers you so little in life and has such a flipid attitude about you getting it somewhere else. To me, it sounds as though he doesn't make you happy and this isn't what you want out of life. If that's the case honey, you have bigger problems than just worrying about what you said. You should be worrying if this is how you are going to spend the rest of your life? I just can't see anyone who'd honestly want to have such a burden.
2006-08-22 15:07:32 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said it because you are more emotional and you were hoping it would spark some kind of emotion from him. I had the same exact problem with my ex bf. We were together for 3 1/2 years and he was emotionally crippled, he never got mad or upset or really showed any emotion, he did cry once, but that was it.
You can't make them show their emotions. Thye either do or don't. I would look into marriage counseling or tell him that you are having issues and need something from him. Good luck, I truely can relate and feel for you.
2006-08-22 21:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by starlet_80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask yourself if you really love this man. Counseling seems to be in order to save your marriage. Are you thinking of cheating? It sure sounds like it to me. Give your hubby a chance. Be honest with yourself.
2006-08-22 22:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by eminey3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you have a very complicated marriage.. You two either need a lot of communication, counseling..or to end your marriage...You are disrespecting one another and this will not end well. Good Luck!
2006-08-22 21:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by ..Luna.. *.. ) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants you to say that the only one you really need is him.
If you do get outside attention dont tell him,unless you want to split up which is what this is going to lead to, plus you just gave him justification to do the same
2006-08-22 21:58:33 · answer #5 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds very cold where your at. He is pushing you away and doesn't care if you go. I don't like that. May be a little marriage counseling would help.
2006-08-22 22:02:46 · answer #6 · answered by LJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you told him that for counseling ,then it was O K .
But if you told him you were going to cheat on him ,just save both of you the heartache and go to divorce court NOW.
2006-08-22 22:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were fishing to see what his reaction was. You found out . If you do decide to go outside. then it would be best he does not know. You are not sure what heis thinking deep down. You need to reachout.
Ron
2006-08-22 22:17:01 · answer #8 · answered by ron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is good.
But the question I have for you is: "What *do* you get from him?" Seriously.
And remember, it's ok to work hard at the relationship, but it does take two...
2006-08-22 21:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No but you you can always apologize and tell him you didn't mean it. Go to talk to a therapist to save your marriage.
2006-08-22 21:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by LNZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋