I have been living with my bf of 6 yrs, but can not contemplate the tought of marrying yet, and i'm 24. I don't understand why he feels it eventualy necessary to marry. To me it just seems overrated, or maybe I actually am unable to see that he will invest the in things I need from a marriage: love, compromise,respect sacrifice...etc.. Am I wrong for wanting this, or to rather be alone after being together for so long?
2006-08-22 14:28:41 · 9 answers · asked by Pandora de Dosei 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It may be possible that marriage is not for me, but i don't want to be alone either... the problem with me and my bf now is that we don't seem to agree in what a marriage entails. He seems to think it as casual as waking up, and I think it be more devoted to a wholesome effort for mutual happiness.
2006-08-22 14:40:25 · update #1
Here's a simple test to see what you should do. Close your eyes and picture your future in about ten years. Is he still a part of the picture? If so, then marry him honey...there are alot of benefits to marriage, and if this is the guy you picture yourself being with for the rest of your life, then I find it silly to play the "let's just live together card". If you don't see him in the picture, well then maybe your instincts are trying to tell you something. Maybe he's not giving you the things you need in order to commit and if that's the case...carry on as you are. Just because you live with someone and are boyfriend/girlfriend, doesn't mean the end of the road always results in marriage. Listen to your heart, it's usually right.
2006-08-22 14:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel like getting married to this man, he's not the one.
I've been there. I dated a guy for 2 years who was in love with me and wanted to marry me - I felt like I was running to try and catch up to his feelings and never got there. I finally broke it off, hard as it was, and then worried that I lost my chance for marriage....I was 24.
Less then a year later, a woman approached me in a nail salon to tell me I was perfect for her brother. She insisted I take his email address. I was leary, but intrigued. I wrote to him, he wrote back, a week later we met, after a month we went looking for engagement rings and 3 months later he proposed. It felt right, we both knew it was right and we've been married a year now - been together for a total of 3 years. When we got engaged I was 25 and he was 32, when we got married I was 27, he was 35. When it's right, you feel it right away. You can't explain it, you just do...and things move almost effortlessly and easily.
Don't give up hope...but it might be time to move on from this guy and see who else is out there. Your someone special could be just around the corner.
2006-08-22 22:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are in a rut. you sound bored and not in love. are you with him just because you've invested so much time? if so, that's not a reason to stay. why isn't he investing love, compromise, respect, sacrifice, etc. now? maybe you want out but are afraid of being alone and maybe of hurting his feelings. it's just easier to stay. it does take a strong person to upset the status quo. you need to decide what it is you want for your future and where he fits in, if at all. then make the changes necessary to make it come true. please don't settle. you will never be happy if you do.
2006-08-22 21:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by sunnyca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does it have to be necessary to marry? If you're not ready, you're just not. It is not wrong of you to want those things, best to think about this now, then end up in a marriage you're not happy in.
2006-08-22 21:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by cynthetiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, you are not that into your boyfriend. If you have been together that long and you don't want to marry him, either you simply are not ready, or he really isn''t THE one!
2006-08-22 21:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is any doubt, you should not do it..your uncertainty is a red flag that maybe you aren't truly in love with him..or you wan't to see if you can do better...either way now is not the time..do not lead him on..tell him the truth..
2006-08-22 21:52:28 · answer #6 · answered by KT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him. It sounds to me he isn't the one for you. When you find the right one you will know in your heart the he is the one.
2006-08-22 21:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that way... don't get married... it's either not the time.. or he's not the one....
2006-08-22 21:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Lyne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DONT DO IT
2006-08-22 21:33:53 · answer #9 · answered by tattoo282001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋