I am 28 and have been married for 9 yr. My husband and I have three kids, but sadly I am not happy. For the past 3 yrs my feeling have changed for him. He is not affectionate... he does work long hours.... and he has a drinking problem..... so this combined has made it extremely hard to be close. I do care for him dearly..... but I know that I do not love him how I once did. I do want to seperate but am just scared shitless!! Mainly because of the hurt it will cause our family. I am not sure if he will be able to go thru this or his will he just drink more?? Should I just stay together for the kids?? OR do I walk away now and maybe one day find someone else?? Things have got so bad that when he touches me I feel ill....is it possiable to get over this ???
2006-08-22 13:25:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
staying together for the kids just makes it harder and the kids will see and still be hurt. kids will bounce back with ur love and support. I left my wife in aug of last year after 11 years and we are now divorced because of her cheating and the kids could tell something was wrong by the way we acted. and I now live with my son and have a happer life
2006-08-22 14:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by Jack H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to AA for awhile becasue I could not understand why someone drank themselves to drive me crazy. Wil lhe drink more who knows, that part of this question is really his need to control
Have you tried a AA meeting they can give you more support than this spot you can talk for hours and go away feeling more in control and with a clear head for a few monents anyway.
I know in large towns they have AA all over the place in small towns is not as easy to go the first time . But I look at it like this they all have been their and understand more than someone who has not gone through what you are feeling.
I didn't go to many but what I did attend sure helped and glad I did.
2006-08-22 20:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by aaricka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was ready to say that marriages have ups and downs, but when his touch makes you feel ill, that's more than a down time. Staying for the kids isn't an answer. It just doesn't work, unless living miserably is working. Give it a SHORT time, and if things don't improve VERY soon, end it
2006-08-22 20:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went threw that years ago..but had 4 kids.. well.. left when I had three then got scared and went back.. happened a few times then ended up with four...
I always would ask my ex if I was so bad that he could not be with me and the kids sober.. then I might as well not be there..
I ended up leaving with the kids.. just have to get over the fear of being a single mother.
2006-08-22 20:34:52 · answer #4 · answered by Ibdreamin099 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK first off have you tried talking to him. If not that could make a world of difference. Secondly when you married him you made a commitment to him, you, your future kids, and God. Breaking this commitment would be the wrong thing to do unless you think he is cheating on you. Ask him if he will get help with his problems. ALso if you break this marrage it will hurt the kids very badly. That could push them as far as taking their own lives. It will also teach them that breaking a commitment as big as this is no big deal. That in turn will show them that breaking any commitment is ok since their mom and dad did it.
2006-08-22 20:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by phantom_of_the_night 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,you two need to get help marriage counciling or talk to a Pastor or someone that can help you two find out what is causing all of this pain in your marriage.The drinking problems are effecting your emotions when your with him and you both need AA or something that you two can work on together.You still love him but his habbits are causing your emotions to freeze everytime he comes around.Get some help first try AA for both of you.It may save your marriage.Best Wishes.
2006-08-22 20:31:01 · answer #6 · answered by endigogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you. i dont think it matters one way or the other if hes going to drink hes goin to wether it be more or less. i think if you feel ill being touched by him why stay with him??? that makes no sense. dont you deserve to be happy too??? staying together because of the kids is no excuse.....did you ever think they might not want to be around a dad who drinks in the first place?? i know i was soo mad at my mom for staying with my dad who drank and eventually drank himself to death as we wattched this. i think you need to seperate and dont let him talk you into taking him back because things wont change for the better!!! do it for your children. you and your kids deserve to be treated right.
2006-08-22 20:31:25 · answer #7 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u should leave because u shouldnt feel that way when ur husband touch u i mean the kids will understand depending on how old they are i mean u have to be happy in the marriage also
2006-08-22 20:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by 2 THICK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO, you should take the kids and go on with your life. They will be okay. You need to be happy also. Don't deal with this when you don't have to. In the end, everyone will be better off.
2006-08-22 20:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by Carrie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and yet another example of young marriage gone wrong.
don't know what to tell you cept do what you feel is right for you and the kids, kids have a tendency to pick up bad feelings between parents anyway
2006-08-22 20:28:48 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋