What has happened is really unfortunate and you have my best wishes for a speedy recovery - emotionally as well as physically.
Sorry to say your husband doesn't sound like the right material for a lasting marriage. Nine months and he has cheated with TWO girls already?
Time to sit down and think whether you want to stay in a relationship with someone like that, hurtful as that may be. If you decide not to, tell him you thought it would work but clearly he can't live within the constraints of marriage, so you want a divorce.
Should you decicde to try again, tell him you are giving him one more chance, "under these conditions: " then tell him however you need it to be. If he cannot or will not agree, get a divorce; otherwise, give him the opportunity to prove that he truly cares and means the vows he made.
In this situation, much as one doesn't like to put it so crassly, you hold all the cards. He transgressed, he hurt you, he has to smarten up.
And if you feel hesitant about cutting it off, think about one thing:
if this marriage is not going to work you are better off cutting it down now than two or three years and a child later.
And as for a baby - you will have children, and when you do, it will be with someone who loves and respects and cherishes you.
Good luck.
2006-08-22 12:48:21
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answer #1
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answered by kerangoumar 6
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If you want to stay with him, then go to counsling, but the best thing to do would be to leave. If he cheated once he will do it again, and there is no way you need to go through that. I am sorry about the baby, and I know how much that hurts, that is something that time will make a little more better, but you need to get out of there... Good Luck, and there will be a man out there that will love you and would never ever cheat on you
2006-08-22 12:50:01
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answer #2
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answered by Just Me 6
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You lost a child that can sometimes never be gotten over but as they say and it is true with proper support and time wounds heal. Your husbands cheating well that's another thing you either can punish yourself or him forever or you can choose it let go of it with all the feelings attached to it...for most of this the letting go of such a huge hurt is just too much and sometimes we are better off with a clean start. You need to see a professional to work out how you feel what you can do and your choices in life good luck.
2006-08-22 12:50:12
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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To begin with i'm sorry on your loss - i have lost 2 toddlers to miscarriages and understand how rough it is. What you are going through is a normal a part of the grieving process. The cause you miscarried your previous being pregnant could have been since your physique is just too young to manage with being pregnant so there's a excellent chance that if you get pregnant once more the same factor will happen. It is also unsuitable to drive a baby for your boyfriend when you've got simplest been together for a short while and he wants to get his life so as earlier than opening a loved ones and if you happen to get pregnant in opposition to his needs he might depart and you are going to be a 16 yr historic single mom. I will also inform you that having a little one is plenty of difficult work. Sure it's individual but it takes numerous work and a number of patience and also you on no account have time for yourself. I'm in my 30's and my baby is most effective 2.5 and some days I still wonder how i am going to manage as a single mother, as a 16 year old you have got your whole lifestyles forward of you - all of your neighbors will probably be going out partying and you are going to need to keep at dwelling with your little one (it is now not reasonable to assume others to preserve your child for you in order that you can go out and have a excellent time each weekend). I advise you search counselling to aid you deal with your loss and think about approaches to fortify yourself and your existence before you attempt to have a child in order that while you do have one that you can give it the high-quality environment and quality probabilities at lifestyles. A child whose mom has completed school and had work expertise and lived just a little before having the little one will develop up a lot better adjusted than one born to a 16 yr ancient single mom with confined lifestyles expertise and schooling. You owe any future children you've gotten the exceptional risk that you would be able to supply them, so wait a while and get your lifestyles on monitor do slightly of developing and living earlier than attempting once more. If you can get preserve of a institution text guide called existence span human progress by using carol sigelman and elizabeth rider, it covers a variety of what i've acknowledged.
2016-08-09 12:17:02
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answer #4
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answered by vyky 4
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Will you actually be able to forgive? Do you really want to stay with a man that cheated on you 2 times? If you want to salvage whatever you can and really make it work then you need to seek out counceling. Find reasons what drove him to cheat in the first place. And also find out how you can cope and get over the loss of a baby. Good luck to you!
2006-08-22 12:53:38
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answer #5
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answered by legguy2003 2
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My goodness, here we go again. I should start a club for wifes who stay with husbands who cheat (I am one of them by the way). You may not ever get over it honey. You could try counseling for yourself but it probably won't do any good if he doesn't go. Just remember that this is not your fault. You did nothing to deserve it! If you really want to get on with your marriage you have to somehow dig deep down inside and let it go completely, otherwise it will just keep eating at you. The trick is to not get obsessed with what he is doing and who he is with. You may not want to get pregnant again for a long while just to make sure that you don't bring a child into a bad relationship. Good luck to you. I really hate that this happened to you.
2006-08-22 12:58:14
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answer #6
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answered by Melm 2
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First time I've heard a woman losing a baby because of "stress over your husband having an affair". Sounds like a huge guilt trip to me.
Makes me question your role in this.
2006-08-22 13:08:59
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answer #7
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answered by mrpeabody 3
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Why would you want to continue? You did not say that your husband has any remorse in his heart. What is he going to do to make the marriage work and make himself into a husband? The best way to recover is to learn your painful lesson now-get rid of the boy and marry a man next time.That way you won't be 50 years old and complaining about still being married to a boy.
2006-08-22 12:50:50
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answer #8
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answered by kittykats2 2
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I'm not sure I could ever 4give him 4 such a breach of trust.
Does UR Man even realise or appreciate how damn lucky he is?
That U want 2 stay with him & work 2gether 2 move on from this.
U need 2 give it time, lots of time.
2006-08-22 12:53:49
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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You can't. Not under these circumstances and how/when it happened.
This marriage is destined to fail, so it's best you call it quits.
If he's cheated on you from the beginning, he will not stop.
There are many marriages that do recover and become even stronger and closer after an affair or cheating spouse, but your marriage is NOT one of those.
2006-08-22 12:50:19
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answer #10
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answered by moniquebell 3
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