teenage daughter 'problems'?

Question

Hi, i'm asking this question on behalf of a friend, unfortunately i dont have children myself.

My friend is a single parent, has 3 children, a son of 16, a daughter of 14, and a daughter of 8, her teenage daughter is being very loud and abusive to her, and also verbally attacking her with very nasty words, she has also 'lashed out' at her mother, on several occasions, yesterday, she even took my friends mobile fone, deleted sum numbers, then took out the 'sim card', then took the 'sky-box' card, so the sky-tv cudn't be used, all because my friend 'grounded her', she then said to her mother, "if u dont let me outta the house by 2pm, i'm gonna rip up the cards !" this eventually ended up in a 'bad fight' between mother and daughter, and now my friend is at the end of her 'tether with this teenage girl ! To be fair to the girl, she has no issues with me, and is 'always' quite respectful to me ! Can anybody help ? ? ? ?

PLEASE !

Answer 1

It sounds like this girl has issues. Her mom might want to consider getting her into therapy. As far as help for the immediate situation. Your friend needs to stand her ground. DO NOT back down to this girl it will only make her worse. She might act out even more but as long as she knows who is boss in that house and that it is not her then things should get better. It seems like right now she is testing her boundaries. Your friend needs to lay down the law and stick with it. But most of all get her into therapy. Even if all she has is anger management issues she needs help. Also you might want to offer your help sometimes by getting this girl out of the house. Not to let her go hang out with friends but just get her away from your friend so they both have some time to breathe and calm down. Most of all you need to be there for your friend. She needs your help right now. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 2

Wow, I guess I have something to look forward too when my 5 year old twins turn to the teenage years!Well maybe the girl is being abused somewhere else verbally or even possibly physically either way it affects you mentally as well.Not only you but others as well. It's hard raising teens I know I was hard for my mum as well,and know I finally know what it's like to be a working mum.I am not blaming the mother by an means but you need to look into her stroy as well,she might have some problems as well that are hurting her to the point where she's hurting her own kids,but I very well doubt that.Well I can tell right out from your story that the mother probably chances are all these years wasn't firm enough with her,and was easy going for her and now her daughter's a raving maniac.She obviously thinks she can get what she wants when she wants.Grounding isn't probably gonna work all that well but maybe possible couseling,and therepy classes.And maybe a medication as well.
My younger sister is 14 and disagrees with my mother alot and let me tell you it's a girl thing.My mother has worked her rear off to raise eight kids,and just had another child recentley,so now she has deffintley been strong with us from the start.Now,we were all worth the aggravation she says.This is pry just a typical teenage girl faze all girls go thru it some differntly though.Well good luck to your friend and you! Let me also tell you it's easier raising a boy than it is raising a girl,luck me I have two of each,and am expecting another one.Hope this helped!

Answer 3

Feel sorry for this poor mum, Definitely sum serious family issues going on here. Does the daughter blame mum for dad leaving, could there be drug use involved, does the mum favour the other 2 kids meaning the oldest gets more responsibility the youngest is the baby.....they say middle child problem child. Maybe the mum should try and talk to the girl and find out what issues the kid has got or maybe you could do this as a family friend. Good luck with this situation.

Answer 4

I have no children of my own yet but practically raised my brothers and sisters. I still give advice to my sisters. The girl is a teen (young woman) and will be a problem for a while yet. She's trying to find her feet so testing the parents is a given. Try talking to her a few times to see if she'll tell you her problem, if she see's that you care, her own guilt will kick in and she will probably feel like she's over-reacted. After a talk i would still implement the grounding but make it shorter so she feels that communicating has accomplished something. The thing is teens feel like their being imprisoned and 'nobody understands me' so they lash out. I never yelled at any of the kids so they knew over time that if i raised my voice i meant business. Her daughter needs her mum, especially in her teens, not to enforce laws but to guide her. I think the best thing to do would be to 'draw the line' at an earlier age. But saying that, what do i know?

Answer 5

She needs the sht smacked outta her a couple of times and if that dosnt work just have the cops come get her as* and take her to the hospital to be evaulated for a few days, that should straighten her out. Im so tired of seeing all these people worried about disaplening their kids for fear of child services or whatever. When I have a child I wish they would come to my door talking about "oh you hit your child we're takeing them" fine go ahead because the courts are gonna be the same ones in your grill when your kid goes out here and does something STUPID because you cant control them or at least talk some commen sense into their head and YOUR going to be the one stuck paying for whatever they did, in jail or with news cameras stuck up your as* with reporters askin how did you let your child get like this. Snip the problem at the bud right now or in a few years your gonna have a 20 year old and another 14 year old actin the same way, sounds harse but you gotta let her AND they rest of the kids know "Im the parent your the child" and you wont disrespect me or anyone else if I have anything to do with it.

Answer 6

testing her mother out to see how far she can go. The only way is for your friend to stand her ground. If the original reason for grounding was good enough then a few lost phone numbers and sky card is a small price to pay. And presumably the teenage daughter will also suffer from not being able to watch sky.

Answer 7

Your friend has been to soft in the past, but I think she has been treating her daughter like a baby. They need to spend time together. Your friend also needs to make sure her daughter takes responsibility of her actions. Like the Sim card and sky card. Your friend needs to make sure that she sticks to the grounded rule and not give in, make her daughter buy her a new Sim or find the numbers that were on there, and apologise. I am 19, and I was taught not to do that sort of thing.

Answer 8

I would have to say if I ever treated my father or mother as this gal has, I would not be able to walk or for that reason even talk. I have a 12 y/o son I am dealing with and he is a chore some times. Patience, courage and above all love. Counseling and mental health help may be the first step. Wish you the best of luck.

Answer 9

Stick to your guns, as long as you have a good reason to ground your daughter, the reaction probably wont be as bad next time. This is not abnormal behavoir for a girl of this age. When everything has calmed down, have a talk with her, keeping that communication link open is so important. Tell her how you feel. Read books from the library.

Answer 10

Sounds like that girl has some anger issues and needs to know she is being heard. Does her mom make time just for the 2 of them ever? Does she continue to treat her like she is 6 instead of the young lady she is? She is at an age that moms have a hard time adjusting to treating their child with the respect that they should try to. And the daughter is at an age that makes her do crazy things and be obnoxious, so that is a combination for problems. Her mom needs to find out why she is so angry and hostile and get to the bottom of it and then work with her to come up with a strategy to make living together better. It is complex, I know.