The sex talk- Parents-how old? Kids- what did you learn?

Question

I have three children. My oldest is almost 7. I was thinking about when to have the sex talk with my oldest. She is very smart and can figure things out sometimes before I am ready to tell her. She does not know about my period though, so I am not sure when to bring that up. For parents- when did you tell your kids about sex?
For kids- When did your parents tell you about sex and what did you learn? I mean, how much did you already know from friends and tv?

Answer 1

My mom never wanted to talk about it...I guess she figured that either I would figure it all out or I would never know if she never told me. It was a mean thing to do. My daughter is 5 and she has known where babies come from and about periods for a while. She doesn't know all the gory details about sex but she knows the difference between girls and boys and why it is that boys can't have babies. I figure that it is easier and better to layer on the information as they are ready for that level of information. I don't know about you, but I don't retain much info when it is heaped on me all at once. I would start by asking her what she knows...maybe relate it to puppies or kittens so that it isn't so embarrasing for her to talk about it for either of you. It is much easier to explain and show the process of a puppy or kitten being concieved and born and not get too emotional over it than it is to talk about yourself personally or about your daughter having sex and periods and stuff (too scary and personal sometimes). The major difference with female dogs and women is the fact that where female dogs will only ovulate twice per year or so...a woman will ovulate 12 times per year. Ultimately it is very similar...and I'm sure that you can find appropriate videos regarding this subject.

I don't remember how I thought babies came to be...I do remember having the ultimate epiphany when I was in about the third grade and thinking that I must be a genius for figuring it out...only to realize that everyone else knew. I was fortunate that I didn't really learn too much from other kids (how screwed up would that have been?)...but I wouldn't trust that will happen in this day and age...I'm 32 and I think that the most exposure that I had was when Grease came out and I watched it on HBO which was also pretty new at the time. Kids are exposed to so much more at a much younger age now...I wouldn't put it off.

Answer 2

My parents never told me anything growing up, just learned a lot from tv, friends, and my own experience. When I was about 12, some of my friends were actually sexually active at that point and this was 15 years ago. It would've been nice to have my parents reinforce it to wait for someone special or marriage, and not just avoid the subject all together. Do you really want your children's friends telling them what they need to know? I would suggest around the time of puberty you may want to talk to your kids, but I'm sure they will already know much more than you think.

Answer 3

I was nine years old. I was at school and I started my period. I didn't tell anyone I just called home. I knew nothing by that evening I knew everything. I'm 28 now. So when I was 9 I can't really remember learning anything on TV. Maybe just saw kissing but that was it. Now days they tell girls about whats to come about 5th grade. Kids develop faster from all the hormones in foods. You can really slow that down by eating organic meats, fruits and vegetables it is a little more expensive. Tell her about her period just don't tell her about sex unless she initiates it. Unless you feel she is ready for it. I have a six yr old niece and can't imagine telling her that anytime soon though. Maybe at 8 or 9.. What ever you feel comfortable with. Only you know when she is ready.

Answer 4

I'm 16 and i have a brother who is 22. my parents never really said anything, i just learned it all on my own, they had courses at school where they would take the whole class in and learn about it, but now i know about everything. Age 7 might be a little too young, try it around age 11.

Answer 5

I can't remember when I learned, although I know I was very young. By the time my mother slipped the "all you need to know about sex" book under my door at 13, it didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I think by 7 you should at least start. Explain your period and gradually ease into it. I've had friends that got their period at 9 so you should be prepared for that... because if their friends know, then she knows.

Answer 6

My son is 14 and I think I started talking to him before he was 5 because he heard something from his older cousin. I told him that if he ever had any questions to come to me and I would tell him anything he wanted to know. He has known about women menstrating for quite sometime as I have been a single parent since he was 2 years old.

We still talk about it to this day. And he feels very informed according to him. He hides very little from me. I hope.

Answer 7

My parents never gave me the sex talk. All i know is make sure u do it. It sucked having to learn everything by myself. But my parents did give my little sister her sex talk the day she had her first period. I am pretty sure your daughter will tell what is happening so you at least know when to make sure you do it. She was 10

Answer 8

funny, you ask that question.

When I was 7, a girl at school told me that she saw her parents "humping and having sex"...she laughed, but I didn't get it.

So I went home and watched different strokes, and gary coleman asked something about it...and it reminded me of what happened at school, so I asked my mom. She said it what grown folks in love do in order to have kids. I said where does the kids come from? She answered, "in that place where noobody should touch" (since we'd discussed THAT already)..but the obvious blushing she did along with what seemed on TV at at school to be a taboo subject only made me curious and scared...

Answer 9

I'm fourteen, my parents told me in about the fifth grade. I'm male, so I can't really make a quote for you.. But they didn't tell me much I didn't already know. Only thing I really gained from the convorsation was the definition of "orgasm." I started watching porn a few months later [thanks, Google, free shoutout.. Although Yahoo is better.. Video search.. ;)] and pretty much studied it. About the period thing, she doesn't need to know yet. Once the blood-flowing years start to draw near, mention it and show her what a tampon is.. And a pad. I can't really give you any other advice.

Answer 10

Sex was always just another topic of conversation in our household. When I was pregnant with my second child, my older daughter wanted to know how she got in there, what she was doing in there, how she would get out. She was VERY curious. So I told her. No storks, or cabbage patches. I told her the truth, scaled down to her age of course. We got books from the library too. I don't know that we ever had "a talk." It all came about with both my daughters in normal conversation.