If my "mate" wants to be with someone else aren't they cheating themselves by staying with me? People change, things change why cheat yourself? If you love something (or someone), set it free. If it's meant to be, it will...if not, "ce la vive"...right?
2006-08-22 11:36:23 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you view marriage as a kind of volunteer slavery then your marriage never stood a chance. The reason most marriages fail is because people jump into it without having a clue in regards to the amount of work, dedication, love and committment it takes to make it successful. Most people start their relationships off as sex partners and build from there, which is a blueprint for disaster. Marriage is something that is sacred and holy. To anyone who is fortunate enough to be in a relationship where both parties understand this they are in for a lifetime of happiness. Sure there will some bumps somewhere down the road, but as long as that couple hold on to their love for one another they will get over those bumps and it will be smooth sailing. A couple should always go into marriage with the mindset that divorce is not an option. When people enter marriage with the mindset "If it doesn't work out I can always divorce him/her.", they are starting their marriage out with a strike against them. Whenever, they incur the slightest problem that negative thought will always pop into their head, until eventually they are ready to call it quits. The sad thing is that in most cases the problems are minor and they don't even try. Truth of the matter is most people are too selfish and aren't mature enough for marriage. Peace and God bless.
2006-08-22 11:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cheating is doing anything sexual including kissing, petting, having secrets, etc from your spouse. if you are married you vow to forsake all others, that means in every way.
When you are dating if you two do not have an agreement it is not cheating. Just because you have sex with someone that does not mean you automatically have an exclusive agreement with that person. Since you two have not talked it over and agree there is no agreement and any actions you do is not cheating. Assuming that something is in place does not make it so. The mistake a lot of couples "bf&gf" make is clearly not defining what you both agree to.
2006-08-22 11:46:13 · answer #2 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, that would be the perfectly logical attitude to have: Setting something free and letting them have so much rope that they ultimately hang themselves and come crawling back to us. However, our feelings are involved. Although my husband may want to be with another woman, I would hope he wouldn't because he would be throwing away the life we built (kids, home, happy memories) just for sex. Even though it would be just sex, the problems it would cause in my psyche would ultimately not only destroy the marriage, but it would destroy how I feel about myself and the value I have to my family. So in a perfect world with no feelings and connections, your "ce la vive" attitude would be fine. But unfortunataly being okay with your mate cheating would suck for everyone and destroy the lives of you and your kids.
2006-08-22 11:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by missy s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is for people who want to be true to each other, or at least have the same views on love, trust, and cheating. Some people have agreements that they can 'cheat' if both partners agree. but if you feel as though you would be cheating yourself because you need some extra loving then why get married in the first place? no one is forcing you.. or you could at least find someone who views it the same way as you
2006-08-22 11:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right, in fact, I KNOW you're right (except the part about voluteer slavery). The "cheaters" call themselves getting it all by staying with one person and developing another relationship with someone else, but they are cheating themselves because they aren't 100% into the 2nd person. Sometimes people want to stay with someone for one thing, and be with the other person for something else.
2006-08-23 10:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wrong. marriage is for the people who make the choice to build a life together...not exactly slavery but sometimes feels that way. but i still have a bumper sticker that says "i think, therefore im single" oh and for the definition of cheating...its non consentual going outside of the relationship for physical or emotional ahhhhh "support" shall we say?
2006-08-22 11:39:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has their own definition of cheating. But why even get married with your view of marriage? Just be boyfriend/girlfriend until one of you wants to be free.
2006-08-22 11:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing slave-like about a good marriage.
People change, and things change, but a good relationship will grow with the changes.
You are going to be very lonely when you are older.
2006-08-22 11:41:49 · answer #8 · answered by loves2fly84095 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you cheat on someone you are also cheating on yourself, if you don't be with your partner, just leave it and start a new romance, if you are afraid of "slavery" don't get married.so you can be alone the rest of your life...but having variety of partners of course... your choice
2006-08-22 11:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by Marina F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hopefully with marriage your mate will not want any one else. thats why you get married, you find your best match and realize there is nothing better but your mate. thats what marriage was meant for.
2006-08-22 11:55:07 · answer #10 · answered by NNY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋