I think my Friend is Gay?

Question

we have been friends for 4 years and i always hade a feeling he was gay. One time i spent a night and put my sneakers under his bed and i saw gay porn.we do have a gay friend but i dont think it was his.what can i do?

Answer 1

Well mate depends on what you want to do. If you want to be his friend then tell him you support him and that you found gay porn in his room and if he is gay it is OK with you he will probably try to deny it and if he does just continue to support him he will at least know what kind of friend you are so it is all good. If you want to confront him so that you have an excuse to end the friendship then just tell him you are uncomfortable with him because you think he is gay due to the gay porn you saw in his room. He will deny it and be hurt but hey you will get what you want and he will know what kind of friend you really are so it is all good. If you want to make a move on him then dude he is your friend and not out yet so tread carefully if you make a move on him and he is not ready he will know what kind of friend you are .... well you get where this is going I am sure. LOL he may not even be gay he might be g0y.

Answer 2

Hmm. Wow. Well, honestly, all I can say is a) Don't CONFRONT him really as much as just casually bring the sexuality issue up in a normal conversation when you two are alone together and ask him what he thinks. Make sure he knows you want a serious and truthful answer, and ask him if he's ever felt any attraction to other guys, say, your gay friend for instance; and make sure he knows you're not badgering him or anything, just simply wondering. Don't be afraid to tell him about your own answer to that question, in fact, it may help if you go first and tell him about your sexuality, whatever it may be. If you're serious, but at the same time nonchalant about the whole conversation, theres no reason why he wouldn't come out to you, he obviously knows you're okay with homosexuality if you have that mutual gay friend. Be sure that you don't come off like you'd be suprised if he was gay, or like you wouldn't expect it of him, because a lot of times, your friends are just trying to impress you and make you feel like they're a normal person, and they kind of back away or fudge the truth a bit when you hint that you'd be just the slightest bit uncomfortable with any part of who he is or might be. On a lighter note, he needs to find a better place to hide his porn, lol. Around the bed is such an obvious place, and it's the first to be checked. Unless he had it there for the simple reason of hoping one of his friends would find it and ask him about it so he'd have a reason to come out, I know I used to do that all the time (not with porn mind you, I'm only 15), I used to send tiny hints out to my friends before they knew I'm gay, hoping that they'd pick up on them and seriously ask me about my sexuality so I could tell them. Okay, well, I know that was long, but I hope it helped. Loves,
~!*Justy Bean*!~

Answer 3

I would just ask him straight up if he's gay or not and let him know the reasons why I think he is gay. The only reason I would want to know is for situations that I may be in and it would be something good to know... But then he may not want to come out of the closet and tell anyone just yet... It's up to you to decide how you want to handle being friends with him...

Answer 4

I have a gay friend also, she knows that I am not gay, but we grew up like sisters, so she is still my friend. The only thing you can do is decide whether you can accept him as a friend still or not. If it bothers you then you can ask him if he is. That way at least you clear the air and the uncomfortableness between you (if there is any)

Answer 5

Why must you do anything at all?

You say you've been friends for 4 years. Must anything change about that?

Let him take the lead on this matter. He'll tell you what he wants you to know.

In the mean time, keep being friends like usual.

Answer 6

You can mind your own business. If he wants you to know he'll tell you. Maybe he thinks you won't be his friend anymore. Maybe he isn't ready to come out to anyone. All you can do is be a good friend, don't go around calling people "fags" all the time, and show him you'd be his friend no matter what.

Answer 7

What is the difference if he is gay? Does it matter? He is still the same person before you knew. I suggest you ask him about it and make sure he knows you are just curious. Be sure to let him know that it will not change anything between you. And please.. Don't push him away just because of his orientation.

Answer 8

You just have to be there for him. If he wants you to know he'll tell you. If he chooses not to say anything take that as either he is and can't tell you yet or maybe he's not. Just keep reminding him that you're there no matter what and that he can trust you in whatever he tells you.

Answer 9

Unless you plan on dating him, just keep being his friend. What's the big deal? He's been your friend for this long, why stop? He's still the same person. Now you don't have to compete with him for girls and he can help you not dress like a dweeb.

Answer 10

If he's your friend, accept him for what he is. As long as its not aimed at you, it shouldn't matter. My best friend of 20 yrs is a lesbian, and it really doesn't make any difference. I have been on trips with her and everything. I even hooked her up with her current partner. Her love life has nothing to do with her being my friend.