Why do people play head games?

Question

Why not be yourself from the very beginning? Is it better for someone to like you for who you can be or for who you actually are?
Why do people hide behind facades?

Looking for some thought provoking answers here.

Answer 1

Sometimes i pretend to be someone i'm not when we first meet. It's just a defense mechanism. I figure if they don't know the real me and i don't let them in i won't get hurt. It's so odd because it's like i have this wall that just comes up automatically. I don't know why. But i find that it's easier to fabricate myself. It's easy for me to spin a web of lies rather than face the truth.
Sometimes i think i'm too boring. So i try to add mystery. I'll act like there's more than meets the eye. When i really don't want to face that i'm actually quite boring. I prefer playing video games to going to a club. I prefer watching a movie at home than going to the theatre. I'm just not very exciting. I'm pretty grounded. And i am freespirited once i actually get to know someone.
It's really quite odd.

Most of the time, i don't feel like who i actually am is enough. I want to be greater, smarter, prettier, more mysterious, ect. I'm always convinced that there's something missing.

I guess it's just easier to hide.

And head games... they're easy to play when there are no strings attached yet.

Answer 2

Everyone play that games when they grow up. Why?

People behave who they are in the beginning and faces numerous setback when they be who they are. A kind and generous people being themselves are taken advantage by some greedy people. These kind folk being deeply hurt for being nice decide to shut out their real self to 'self-protect' until they get to know the other party very well before opening up again.

We met different peoples all the time and we dont know what other people are thinking or motive. So we can;t trust everyone is nice or have no evil intention toward us. We put on a guard on ourself, a facade to protect ourself and play a little game with the other party. We want the other party to put down their guard first, show their true self and intention before we began to reveal ourself. There, you found the real person. It takes time for everyone to show their real self.

We play head games because the world behave that way. Those who don;t follow the rule, lose out in the end. People are getting complicated.

Answer 3

People are often insecure about who they really are and feel that no one could love them with all their imperfections and faults, so they put on a show. I've been through some relationships where I tried to be more like what I thought the other want, and learned quickly that a smart person can see right through that... and even if they were oblivious I'd just be cheating them. I've found that if you can find someone to be real with that can love you for who you really are, you can truly be happy and confident in a relationship... also then there are no big suprises when and if you decide to move in together or get married, because its really hard to hide who you are when you're living with someone day in and day out.

Answer 4

All of us are guilty of playing "head games" at one time or another right? Some just don't know when to stop/// These people are usually insecure and do not know how to approach others with their true selves. Yes they hide behind a false perception of how they think others see them...these people usually are very unhappy inside and have low self-esteem. Most have been bullies in the past...in reality they need acceptance and sometimes even do not know their own-selves. You can play head games back but it will get you nowhere with these kinds of people...so either ignore them or just be blunt and tell them you are onto their game and they might as well find someone else to bother!

Answer 5

Some because they are deeply fearful of rejection. They bear scars from being rejected, they reason (perhaps incorrectly) that the rejection is a direct result of being transparent and honest, so they hide behind an artificial construct.

Others because they are calculating and manipulative, and use this as yet another means of attempting control and influence over others.

Yet others (especially in romantic or quasi-romantic relationships) because they want to display what they deem as a more attractive version of themselves - what you might dub a "peacock" syndrome.

Finally, in rare cases it may simply be the person in question doesn't have a strongly enough personality developed to actually have a unified, transparent whole to present - in a sense, they are deconstructing and "trying on" different aspects of several "personalities" to see what "fits".

Answer 6

I would not call it playing head games. People are afraid of being judged for past indescretions. They will put their best foot forward and not volunteer negative information. They will change how they act for a while to so not to show possible negative behavior. Many people will be genuine from the begining. That is why it is important not to jump to quickly into a relationship so that the true colors of a person will come out if they are putting on a front. You know that saying, actions speak louder than words.

Answer 7

When I was dating, it always felt like if I was honest, they lost interest because I didn't give them a challenge and the pseudo-***** would win out. Men wanted the chase and the mystery.

I value my time and life. I don't have time to play games, especially with someone else's feelings and thoughts. My take is if you have time to play with people's heads, you are not a deep, real person. Get it?

When my husband and I met it was straight. We knew what we wanted and went for it after dating five months. We are still married almost eight years later. We don't play games and being honest comes across as too raw and abrasive to him sometimes but there is tons of love where that comes from too.

(On second thought, he is dishonest about some things, to be honest with you;)

Answer 8

They are insecure fools who are incapable of having an intelligent, honest conversation or relationship.

Answer 9

i just get bored...and i only play head games with people i don't know...just to see if i can get them to do/say what i want them to...I've gotten pretty good at it...not that I'm bragging or anything...

Answer 10

Fear of being rejected if they show their true self.