How can I get my husband to do more around the house? I work longer hours than him and make more money than him, and I STILL end up doing 97% of the household chores.
2006-08-22 10:59:56 · 26 answers · asked by ALittleLight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, so say he leaves piles of stuff everywhere. Put the TV remote under one of his piles. He'll ask you where it is, you say, "Under your pile of (insert stuff here.)" Continue this until he cleans up the pile. If you ask him to vacuum and he won't do it, wait until you're out with another couple and ask the other woman if she could have her husband come over and explain to your husband how to use a vacuum. Chances are your husband will get defensive and say "I can run a vacuum!" to which you'll reply, "I've asked you to do it about 15 times in the last week and you still haven't, so I just figured you couldn't and you were too embarrassed to say anything!" Finally, there's the "dirty clothes game." If he, like most men, throws all his clothes NEXT TO the hamper instead of INSIDE it, put a little chalk board up above the hamper. Label it "laundry game." Don't tell him what you're up to! Every time he puts something in the hamper, add a point to his side, and every time you put something in the hamper, add a point to your own side. If he begins to fall off the band wagon, casually mention that one of your girlfriends' husbands has x-number of points (about twice as many as what he has,) but you know he'll catch up eventually and you love him, anyway. Chances are he'll either be dumb enough to fall for it, or annoyed enough to start helping more!
2006-08-22 11:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by Cat Loves Her Sabres 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question with lots and lots of different input.
Let me start by asking you a couple of question.
Did you go over to his house and clean it when you were dating?
Did you do his laundry while dating?
Did you cook for him while dating?
If you answered YES to these then you got what you asked for!
But on another note. You probably do things that you feel need to be done, but he dosent have the same feeling. When he feels the nee to do something around the house that needs to be done He will do it. There is a definite difference in (SHOULD be done to be done vs. COULD be done vs. HAS TO BE DONE)
Do you see my point?
Most men are logical. We fix problems!Tell us what the problem is and we will analyze it and fix it if it falls into what we see is a problem. Misc household chores do not fall into a critical HAS TO BE DONE RITE NOW problem area. The WORLD is not going to stop if it dosent get done rite NOW!
From a guys point of view.
You are better off just asking him to do one or two things at a time, but NOT rite as he walks in the door.
I hope this helps
2006-08-22 11:24:23 · answer #2 · answered by hanby915 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop calling them chores.
Tell him that you will have more energy for S E X if he helps with some stuff... guys are like dogs they need a reward afterwards so make a big deal when he does help and give him a physical reward...
He will learn.
...and think if you really need to do as many "Chores" as you do... some times ladies can go a bit overboard...
2006-08-22 11:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by CTM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should both equally share household stuff, regardless whether you work more hours or make more money.
It is only fair that he do is fair share too.
The best way to do this is to entice him with something that he likes to do with you and promise it if he will do it, in a nice way, of course. You don't have to do what you promise either. Think of it as a way to train salivating dogs... after a while, you won't have to give the doggie a treat anymore to do what you want.
2006-08-22 11:03:50 · answer #4 · answered by snorkelman_37 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him... Talk to him... If he still doesn't help you - accept that he never will, and get a maid. Or find a husband who works more and makes more, stay home, and do chores.
We have a maid, it's simply one of the household expenses - both of us work, and neither wants or likes to clean! It's worth it, kinda keeps us from keeping score on who's doing what.
2006-08-22 11:11:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Persuade him to help by dangling a carrot (so to say) in front of him. The reward of you doing some "bedroom chores" after household chores should be reward enough enough for him. If he doesn't go for it he is probably gay. My wife (before we got a dishwasher) used to promise a bj for doing the dishes! I had dishpan hands for years.
2006-08-22 11:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wasn't the type to help in the beginning I am not sure you can get him to help now. You could always ask or threaten to quit your job and stay home and clean the house but ultimately you can't make him help if he refuses. If you do find a way email me with it. I know a lot of people that can use it.
2006-08-22 11:04:44 · answer #7 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop cooking his meals, washing his clothes & picking up HIS stuff, when you get home, cook your own meal, sit down & eat it, when he asks where his food is, tell him you dont have time to cook, do his wash or pick up after him & work the hours you are working, without him helping you around the house, when he takes some responsibility, you will too !
2006-08-22 11:40:46 · answer #8 · answered by yvonne p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God I'm not the only one with this problem!!! My boyfriend is exactly the same way. I don't know what to do. When I just leave the chores, well then they are just left!! It doesn't encourage him to do anything else!
2006-08-22 11:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Diamonds_4Ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk very nicely with him.In some countries men help women to do the household chores.They help each other.Good luck.
2006-08-22 11:39:05 · answer #10 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋