Being away from home...?

Question

Hi,
Suffer from crazy "can't bear to leave home" syndrome. Have been told that I have high emotional sensitivity [any more info on that would be great aswell. Any remedies? Have tried flower remedies, taking momentos from home etc etc. Am going to Uni soon so really want to try and make it better!

Answer 1

http://www.dbsalliance.org
http://www.adaa.org
Dr. David Burns "Feeling Good"

Answer 2

Hi Pamela.

I would suggest to post any pictures or posters from the uni you plan on attending in your bedroom. The idea is to merge the two realities of present and future.

What you are experiencing sounds like hyper-awareness brought on by the anxiety of planning for a new environment. If you have not experienced these sensations before than it is only a temporary situation.

I would not recommend any medicine at this point. Throughout our lifetime we are going to experience adaptation to new surroundings even more as society changes, You want to develop these skills rather than suppress the symptoms.

The late singer Janis Joplin suffered from sever stage fright. She attempted to medicate herself using chemicals but only made the problem worse. One thing that did apparently help her was to fill a small jar with the scent of jasmine so she could smell it when feeling out of control. You might try different aromas in the same way. Note it doesn't have to be a flower scent, it could just as well be garlic or ginger from your favorite recipe.

Also note that during this time you need some regular exercise, plenty of sleep, healthy eating, and consider removing coffee or any other stimulant until you make the transition. A simple practice of meditation could also be helpful

Best Wishes.

Answer 3

I understand what you're going through. I, too am in college. Sometimes it is very tough being away from home, but honestly, after a little while, you'll be totally fine because you get used to the new environment, you'll make friends who will become your family away from home. My first semester I tried not to take too many mementos from home with me, other than a few pics and a childhood teddy bear. I can tell you that the more mementos you bring, the more homesick you'll get because you'll think about it more. Once you settle in and take a trip back home for a visit, then take some more things.

Good luck!!!

Answer 4

Don't feel bad about this one. It's completely normal to miss home. It is completely normal to want to get back home as soon as possible. Your home will always be there. Some people say "home is where the heart is" You feel comfortable at home and that's great. Every now and then stop and think how great things are out there for you to discover and bring back home. You can add a picture of where you went. You can bring back a memento of where you traveled. The list goes on. Don't worry too much, you will never lose your path back home. It will always be there waiting for you to come back to.

Answer 5

Simple cure: Go to Uni for six months. Go back and live with your family for 14-30 days.

Side effect: "can't bear to BE home syndrome"

Answer 6

It is not easy to answer your question, as you have not given us any concrete indication of how good your home life is, or even your age. I will make the assumption that you have a happy home life, as you seem reluctant to leave, and, as you are about to start University, I will assume you are between 18-20 years old.

Firstly, you will need to be sure that you can establish a home for yourself. What are your new accommodations like? Are they with other students, are you sharing rented accommodation? You must ensure that you will have physical and emotional space to be alone, as well as being able to access your peers when you wish to do so. I read that you are quite a private person, so you should consider avoiding University Halls of Residence, and shared accommodation with other students, and instead, rent a flat or studio privately. You will have your own key, and your own space.

Secondly, how are you able to cope with the machinery of living? Can you cook? I mean cook, not boiling an egg or grilling (broiling) a bit of bacon. A good teach-yourself book is "Practical Cooking" by Ceserani and Kinton. Buy this, and you will be able quickly to prepare nutritious, tasty and cheap meals. Other considerations - can you wash your clothes and bedding? We often assume that all clothes have to be washed by machine, but a good alternative is to place all the clothes you have worn during the day into a bucket of hot, soapy water last thing at night, and then wash, rinse and hang out to dry the nest morning. Alternatively, choose accommodation near a launderette. Can you mend clothes - sew on a button, stitch a loose hem, repair a split in your trousers?

Thirdly, do you have the nous to cope on your own mentally? Can you build a home around yourself? Can you put yourself first, and not accede to peer-group pressure?

Fourthly, do you have the money to enable you to do your own thing. If not, take a job for a year (the catering industry is good for this - waiting at table or bar work.) If you do not spash your wages on clubbing or CDs, you will be able to save a good sum. Divide your money into 1/3rd for yourself, 1/3rd savings, and 1/3rd to your parent (s) for rent. If the rent is waived, spend 2/5ths on yourself and save the rest.

Finally, what are the views of the others at home? Are they fearful for your future when you enter independence? Whatever happens, you will leave eventually, so try to convince your folks that you will make out, but leave a line open to your folks in order that you can get emotional and/or practical support , as and when you need it. If you treat this as a move to semi-independence, at least for the first few months, you will gain time to learn and adjust.

Remember, when you set up on your own, you must do your own cooking, cleaning, mending and shopping. Avoid convenience foods - they will cost you a fortune and do your health in. Avoid convenience foods as well, although a weekly fish and chips will not do you much harm. Try to keep a reserve of cash. Avoid special-rate credit cards for students. And keep your mind fixed on the fact that you are attending University to study, not to indulge in a boosefest, shagfest, and dinfest. A bit of each will not do much harm, given that sensible precautions, such as contraception, are followed.,

ONE STRICT RULE. NO DRUGS. NOT EVEN CANNABIS.

Answer 7

You're going through a perfectly normal phase of life. Its called growing up. After a few weeks at Uni you would feel fine! Trust me. Just try to enjoy life and keep yourself busy besides studies (Iike sports and rec activities)! Best of Luck!

Answer 8

Go to Student Union bar. make 'friends' this eases the strain of being away from home. Contact the student counciller if your really lickin the windows tho

Answer 9

Try and hold your thoughts in the now time. That is try to stop your mind from taking you into the past or the future. Try to still the mind. The past is where we have come from and who we were. The future is where we are going and who we will be. But the NOW is who we are.

Answer 10

the uni will have an on campus cousellor that you can talk any issues through with. it sound to me that you suffer from low self confidence...they will be able to help you face the insecurities behind this

Answer 11

Go out for a walk..
breathe in the fresh air and calm down..
look around and observe whats around you..
and be happy that you are you and your alive and have lots of friends that care for you :)