Is it normal to be a virgin at 23?

Question

I'm a 23-year-old gay guy and I've never had sex in my life and never had a partner. I've felt unrequited love several times, but I've never even kissed anyone. All this is because I haven't come out and I never felt like dating girls. Do you find this pathological? Do you know other people like me?

Answer 1

Well I am 20 and catching up. My personal reasons for waiting were that I would wait until marriage, but knowing how far off that is I just wanna wait for a good guy since I've heard too many stories about bad first times. Because you are not out and don't feel like dating girls your options are even more limited than mine which I can understand. I just had my first kiss last year, so I know what a big deal it is. Keep waiting for the guy and don't let anyone talk you out of it. Anyway my best friend was 22 when he lost his virginity so wait until you're ready. ;)

Answer 2

Well, I don't think it's abnormal. Some might say that being gay, it's unusual that you haven't engaged in some sort of sex, but that just plays into a stereotype.

As far as the virgin issue, I was 27 when I lost mine. It's a bit unusual but not pathological. Just be patient and when the time is right, it's right.

Answer 3

I may be a little redundant in saying this, but...
my perspective is that no matter what gender, a person needs to save their Virginity for a person that they love.
However, I find the emotional issues that are holding you back, quite a bit more worrying than your intact virginity, which is merely a symptom of your social problems.
It isn't that you haven't met someone you love and are holding back for them- I respect that as I'm doing the same. You have felt love "several times" and never acted on it.
You need to figure out what you want ias regards to sex and life, as soon as possible, and go out there and grab it (literally and figuratively). Unless you crack open that shell of yours and bust open the closet, you're going to find yourself an old, bitter man, thinking a thousand what-ifs...
Best of luck to you. Be strong and be proud.

Answer 4

I think you should come out if you want it and stay a virgin untill you're ready to deal with the pros/cons of sex in relationships. I also think you should become an advocate for people like you cause there probably are others who have the same problem you do but are less open about it to even ask here. More power to you believe with your heart all you want and it will come true someday I hope.

Answer 5

I don't know other people like you, but I don't think your weird or anything. I'm extremely attracted to other women, but I have never been in a sexual relationship with one. I even married a man thinking that it was the right thing to do because my family is a bunch of gay bashers. My husband knows I'm attracted to women, and he likes it quite a lot. You should visit some gay clubs, and mingle. Make some other gay friends. You may even find someone worth coming out for!!!!

Answer 6

It is still within normal range to be a virgin at 23, you just won't find many people that admit it. You're in a difficult category. If you don't come out, how will people know you're available? If you live in a small judgmental town, go to Atlanta for a long weekend & hit the clubs.

Answer 7

It's not normal, but what's so great about being normal? I don't think there's anything wrong with it in itself, but I do worry that someone who has lived to be 23 years old hasn't opened himself up to new experiences. I don't know anything about the rest of your personal life, but like they say, life is not a dress rehearsal. You don't want the curtain coming down and leaving you regretting all the things you never tried but wanted to. If you haven't come out yet, you are perhaps very guarded. Trust me, not everyone is out to get you. You have youth on your side, but don't squander it. You won't be young much longer.

Answer 8

Normal, what is normal? There are older people than you that are still virgins. You are not the only one, I guarantee you. Yes, I know some people like you. There is nothing to worry about if you are 23 year old virgin. It is normal. Don't let others pressure you because of it. Don't follow the world, just do what you think is normal. Just be yourself and not worry about what others think.

Answer 9

C'mon here,,,,,over here,,,,sit down, have a beer. So, let me understand this. You're 23, you've never been with a woman, and from what you said you have never had sex with a guy either, right?

OK, bad news, good news- bad news is for whatever reason you're stuck at a stage of maturity thats around 13 to 15 years old. Thats about the age that boys and girls start figuring out what they like about sex, and each other.

Now, the good news is you have realized the problem, you've taken steps to fix the problem.

So, what I want you to do is put an Ad in a singles newspaper, and tell them you're a virign and you want to find an older woman to be trained, OR- depending upon your religious beliefs, you want to find another woman who is a virgin to marry.

If you need more help, send me an email and I'll do my best to help ok? Good Luck- Larry

Answer 10

One day it will all come true for you.

You're perfectly normal, don't pressure yourself, when you least expect it you will find someone who's just right for you.

Imagine this, maybe you've had million of relationships and had senseless sex with many of them, and then you find the one person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Wouldn't you want to erase all the bad relationships and crap that was behind you? Wouldn't you want to be as pure and whole for the one you will love? Of course you do. On the other hand, if you want to fool around a little before that one person checks in, it's o.k. too, just be careful of STD's