Do you think you grow closer with someone the longer you are together, or do you think that the little things that they do over the years really start to get on your nerves?
2006-08-22 09:51:49 · 9 answers · asked by Donna Lu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ohhh..that's a REALLY good question, an interesting question actually....I think love and hate are two sides to a coin, it's sort of hard to not have hate at some point or another if there is Love involved...because genuinely the people that we are the closest to in our everyday lives, we tend to wind up hurting the most, it just seems to be an uncondtional law of sorts....it's hard to see it that way when it's actually happening but if we can sit ourselves down and try to think rationally, we realize that we tend to have less patience sometimes with our kids, parents, spouses, etc....whereas with other aquaintances...we are more careful, we don't want to offend anyone because we don't know them as well and we don't want them to get the wrong idea about us.
As long as it doesn't turn into anything abusive mentally or physically then usually the thing to do is sit down and have a heart to heart...trying to explain what bothers you about their behaviour at any given time. Overall, I think you grow closer to the person that you "love" over the years BUT you have to genuinely love them....not be in lust or infatuation with them from the beginning, otherwise this is just a recipe for disaster and will never work. Yes, certain things get on your nerves that your significant other does, or even child does for that matter...but in true love....it's unconditional and you realize that there will always be ups and downs...life can't be rosy 24/7...if more people realized this..maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be as high....maybe couples would actually try to work things out instead of calling it quits.
Good Luck to you!
2006-08-22 10:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how long they've been together, or how much in love a couple is, there will always be things that drive each one nuts about the other. That's just human nature. But, as far as the old saw you're quoting, I've always thought it was a little strongly worded. It makes more sense to say that familiarity breeds indifference. Unless a couple works to keep the relationship fresh, they're soon running on cruise control, to the point they'll have their sex life relegated to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and they'll draw a deep sigh at bed time on those nights. Learn to talk to one another, not about the damn bills, but about current events or politics, go do new things together, stay out of the rut, circumvent familiarity. Everything will be fine.
2006-08-22 17:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It works both ways. If it didn't, people would not be married in some instances for over 50 years and on the other hand, they would not break up at the drop of a hat.
Usually, people have the wrong expectations of each other and aren't able to determine the difference between fantasy and reality. I think that too often we are influenced by pop culture and don't realize that what works on screen does not translate in real life.
If the little things get on your nerves, then you either haven't really accepted the other person or those aren't really little things since sometimes "little things mean a lot". 1. Maintain your own interests and friends and life will be much more tolerable with others.
2. Find the real humor in your relationship and sooner than later, you will find that those little things don't measure to a hell of beans.
2006-08-22 17:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by Notorious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a some of both actually. The little things that get on your nerves some eventually get blown out of proportion and a lot of people don't know how to deal with them which is what leads to so many divorces. The key is to focus on the fact that you continue to grow closer and there are even more good little things that you simply take for granted in a relationship.
2006-08-22 17:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you actually grow closer if your relationship is strongly based on a foundation of pure and unconditional love. Over time, you may begin to notice small things that the person says or does that get on your nerves, but these things can always be spoken about and worked on, which is not always easy but done for love.
2006-08-22 17:01:31 · answer #5 · answered by tru_til_da_end 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get closer as yrs go by even the things that use to bother make you laugh now and you remeber yourself thinking stupid an or lady but damn I love her/him with everything
2006-08-22 16:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by atv400ex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Yes and Yes my mom been in my house for a year and the B must go...drives me up a wall.
2006-08-22 16:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by Lovely B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes to both.
But woe to the one that has contempt.
Then there can be no happiness,only sarcasm and negativity.
2006-08-22 16:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by starrdevine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it would be ignorance and arrogance and apathy that would breed contempt/ not familiarity~~~
2006-08-22 17:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋