My husband says I am pressuring him for sex. All I do is mention it and I am pressuring him, what the f****?

Question

I just had a baby 3 months ago and we have had sex 3 times in 2006, wtf is this about I can't say anything or try to iniate him because I am pressuring him.

Answer 1

come on over, no pressure over here !


lol

Answer 2

Pressuring...WTF? You've only had sex a few more times than me this year and I'm celibate. You have a husband and you can't approach the subject of sex. That's bullsh*t and he knows it. Sit him down and tell him that you need to be satisfied sexually and that if that is pressuring him then the pressure is on. Ask him what the problem is. He may be experiencing anxiety because a new baby is in the home and he saw your body go through such a transition during your pregnancy, labor and delivery. It freaks some men out. Tell him that you just want to reconnect on a physical level and that you miss him. If that doesn't work, he's being a butthole and he's hiding something. Also, consider how much sex is normal for the 2 of you and compromise with him. Accept half as much as usual and build it up from there. Good luck!

Answer 3

I know EXACTLY what you are going through- I am going through the same friggin' thing with my husband- I have been dieting, trying to make myself sexier, trying to not pressure him, whatever....and he's always too tired or has his exercises to do or is working on the computer. In highschool that is all the guys thought about was SEX and now- that I've been married since 2003 - Got pregnant in 2004- Had my baby girl in Jan. of 2005 (she is 19 months now) and we didn't do it for almost 5 months probably cause he didn't want to while I've been pregnant and now it just seems weird....In some weird way I believe THAT is what hurt our marriage and he never wants to do anything anymore either- SO - you are not alone....It does really suck though because my sex drive totally doesn't MESH with his, so I still am not sure what we're going to do...>I've tried talking with my husband and he just feels like sex

exact word here, "It feels like a chore"........ & he always enjoyed it before....no complaints.....hehe.

Answer 4

OMG! I almost choked on my cereal while reading this.....did you guys have sex while you were pregnant at all? It sounds like he was getting a piece on the side while you were pregnant. I just had a baby 2 months ago and while pregnant i just had no desire for sex but my husband would beg me and hound me all the time for some........it would piss me off, but i would give in cause i know he needed to get some and couldn't wait 10 months for me to have a baby and then get some. and then after having my baby he couldn't wait! the doctor told me to wait 4-6 weeks and he wanted it to be 4weeks not 6, that he wanted some! it sounds funny! he even went to by condoms in anticipation for the big day lol so i'm sorry hunny, he must have someone on the side.....if not he is really weird and if he does he is an asshole! he doesn't deserve you or your beautiful baby.

Answer 5

He is saying you are pressuring him because he wants to avoid whatever the issue really is. Its something that either makes him uncomfortable with himself or with you and he doesn't want to deal with it so he takes the easy road and says you are pressuring him, that turns in to an argument OR nothing at all and the subject is effectively avoided once again. You need to find out what is really going on here. Not by arguing or fighting, you need to sit him down and say ok I know this isn't about pressuring you but I need to know what it is about so we are going to talk about it or our relationship is going to go nowhere fast. Tell him you have been patient and allowed him to avoid the subject long enough hoping that he would get to where he would start a conversation about this problem but he hasn't so you are. See how he reacts to that, but DO NOT allow him to turn it in to an argument, thats him trying to avoid it again, IF he refuses to talk about it say fine I'll let it go today, but tomorrow we will continue this talk so you have until then to get your thoughts together. If you can't talk to me about it write it down but it will be dealt with, this ignoring it game is over. Tell him he must be realistic and that life can not continue indefinitely this way so you might as well deal it now, no time like the present, point out that it is unrealistic of him to believe that you are going to live your life without sex because he won't talk about this problem. Be prepared though there are a lot of things that could be up here but it is certainly NOT about pressure!

Answer 6

Your husband has issues that run deeper than sex. I try not to mention therapy because it is not always practicle or affordable, but in your case your marriage sounds like it may be doomed if you don't get to the bottom of your husband's issues. Which is not just the issue of sex itself. You need to ask him what is bothering him about your relationship. Tell him that if he does not want sex, then you need more physica land emotional reassurance that he still loves you. Everyone needs physical contact wether it is sex or not. You have a much bigger issue than sex. I wish I had more. Was your sex life normal before? Was this brought on by the pregnancy? Is your husband getting it some where else??? Good Luck I hope you get to the bottom of it.

Answer 7

being a mofo guy like I am, here is my opinion....I read ur answer to another question and you said u never have orgasms and just fake it when you and hubby have sex. and u said that u dont even want to have sex anymore, so think about this.....what if ur hubby knows you are faking ur orgasms, feels inadequate because he can not bring you to orgasm, does not want to tell you he knows, now feels like sex is an unwanted chore thats fake any way and just wants to avoid the feelings he has during and after the sex so it is easier to just not have sex than to open up and talk to each other to find the problem. also,you should not think that the "problem" is ur hubby's ..... you are half of the team so I suggest that you ask him if he knows that u have been faking the big O , and that you really want to enjoy sex and have real orgasms so u wanna find the problem, try to fix it and enjoy a good sex life with him. he might be impressed that u want to fix this and you two may get ur sex life pleasure back...I hope you do, good luck, best wishes, enjoy it again !!!

Answer 8

He may be scared of hurting you after the baby.

After the baby, some men think of you as a mother not as a lover, a madonna figure that should be respected ... and not being used for $ ex. The mother of the child has a different role than the one that fulfills the physical aspect of the relationship. Most men get over that.

Have you gain a lot of weight? If so, get on teh treadmill honey.

Good luck

Answer 9

I have had sex with my husband 4 times in the last year, and I am, a sex addict in his mind. Some men do not desire sex as much as society says they do, but it does not make it right. Also, some men get really touchy after the birth of a child, my best advice is to try and talk to him, and if necessary, consult a marriage counselor if it becomes a persistent problem.

Answer 10

This could be fairly serious. You should consider some counseling. He may have some problem like ED or hypoactive sexual desire disorder. He gets irritated at you as a defense. Most men have a REAL hard time discussing stuff like this. Gently let him know your feelings and concerns and try to be patient and gentle about it because if you come on too strong he will balk. Good luck

Answer 11

It could be that since you just had a baby, he is having a hard time thinking about you in the same way. All of a sudden, you are mommy. Have you tried getting him to talk about why he is not interested in sex right now?