what is it like to be a parent?

Question

i mean you have to lose something,even that you like,as the cost of bringing up the kids, so i am wondering how a parent makes the cost up.

Answer 1

By just working real hard....I stay broke all the time, but im proud to be a mommy

Answer 2

The poet Philip Larkin (who wasn't a parent) wrote this in a poem entitled "Dockery and Son":

Why did he think adding meant increase?
To me it was dilution.

I think it must be a bit of both. One loses some things, gains others. From the outside, it looks like parenting often isn't worth it - and even that parents are kidding themselves. From the inside, it must sometimes feel very satisfying.

Any honest parent would say that it's not wholly wonderful, but that the emotional and economic costs are both made up by the overwhelming love one can feel for these other human beings that share some of one's genes.

The oddest thing to me about the parents I know is that they rarely sit down and ask the question YOU'VE asked BEFORE they go and get pregnant. Or, if they ask, they don't think it through. Even the best parents have some difficulty justifying their decision, which is possibly the most selfish one a person can make. When I write that, I'm not actually criticising parents for making the decision. But I think people who believe somehow that having kids is a chance to bury their self-interest in the illusion of sacrificing for their offspring aren't really being honest with themselves, or the rest of us. How often do we hear people whine about how their children don't do this or don't do that? The first thing that occurs to me when someone complains about their children is: "And? You've brought this upon yourself - for your own quite self-centred reasons. At what point did you cease to be responsible for your actions?"

My own experience is different. My mom never complains about any of us except for the occasional reasonable exasperation, and treats us as good friends and equals. Because of that, I think my brother and sister and I do as much as we can to let her know that we're incredibly indebted to her for her love and kindness, and that she's earned our undying devotion and respect. We can't pay her back in exactly the way she gave of herself when we were small, but we can try to make up for the "cost" by the way we live now - by making her a part of our adult lives.

Answer 3

Being a parent is like having your penis cutoff. You have no more time to do what you really want to do and life takes on whole new meaning when the wife is only well 2 weeks out of every month. The kids are usually doing everything that they shouldn't be doing, and there is nothing but repeat television on again when there are 500 channels to watch each time. The dog is constantly being harassed by idiots who want it to clean up after it's own mess all the time. You realize that you've been conned into marriage and the promise of regular sex too.

Stay Single!!!!!

Answer 4

Being a parent is the best thing in the world. The unconditional love of a child makes the costs well worth it.

Answer 5

Prior to having a child, my hubby and I came and went as we pleased, did what we wanted, spent what we wanted on everything and anything we wanted! Once our son came along, our "selfish" lifestyle ended and whereas it wasn't 100% focus on him alone, we wove a totally different lifestyle around him.

It's been an incredibly wonderful, funny, expensive, time consuming 11 years, but he is definitely worth every cent, every moment and every effort we "invest" in him! He is about to start his 3rd year of flying lessons and he already plans to attend an aeronautical college when he graduates from High School.

Does he always clean his room? Nope
Does he always put his dishes in the dishwasher? Nope
Does he make straight A's? Nope
Does he always make good choices? Nope

He does, however, make me feel very blessed every time I look at him, hear his laughter when he's wrestling with the dog, giggling when he tells the latest "yo mama" joke, telling me what the weather is going to be tomorrow according to the weatherman -- and most of all - hearing his nightly prayers.

Could I handle two children? Probably not. That is why God blessed us with one very wonderful son! I hope you get to experience parenthood as we have! God Bless!

Answer 6

it has it's rewards...but it also has it's moments of pain and there are feelings of powerlessness, when you can't do anything too help you child; example- my 16month old daughter got a viral infection she had a high fever and sores in her mouth she could hardly eat and she was miserable and so was I, the only thing that I could do was feed her soothing foods and give her Motrin for the pain and fever and hug and try to assure her that mommy was there..but I could not make what was ailing her to go away, it hurts to see feel your child's pain and you can only do so much to stop it.

on the other hand...being there for her first steps..teaching her her first words..ABC's 123's showing her new things and watching her develop her own personality is so funny and memorable, PRICELESS.

I'm in love with her! her name is Erin Alexandria and she is beautiful!

yes..there are some things that you will give up (loose) but there are twice as many things that you will gain (find) about your child and about your self...you can still have your dreams and goals for your life and future. you just have to do some rerouting.

Answer 7

Being a parent is the best experience in the world, to anyone who wants to be a parent.
Lets face it, some people just dont want to be or are not cut out to be a parent.
But if it is for you, it is the greatest thing to watch your young creation grow, to experience his/her first steps, words, thoughts, hurts, achievements, success and then carry on by creating a child of their own.
When u say u have to loose something, that is not exactly the case, you loose nothing, you just displace one thing with something else. something truly miraculous!!!

Answer 8

You don't lose something...You lose everything.The child becomes ,as it should, the center of your life. What you want is 2nd to what is needed for them. You never get $ and cents make up. The tax break never covers the actual cost. If your not sure if it's worth it..then it's not for you.

Answer 9

the only time that i worry about the cost of being a parent is when i cant provide something for my daughter. there is so much more to worry about than what silly thing you give up and what makes it all worth it is when your child tells you they love you for no reason are come up and give you a hug or just do something that is so cute that you have to call all your family and tell them about that makes it worth it.

Answer 10

I was to selfish to give up any of my freedoms, so I waited to have children until I was in my late forties. I believe in my case it was the best thing I could have ever done, I have time to spend with the kids and enjoy the time very much. I would not trade anything for what I have now.

Answer 11

It is awesome to be a parent. Kids do cost money, but you can save and plan accordingly to make sure everyhting will be covered. My wife tends to cost me more money than my kids. Kids are great!