my daughter?

Question

my girl is 13. lately, every time she leaves the house, which is more and more often, i think she's doing things she shouldn't be. like today she wants to go to her friends house. the first thought i had was she's going to meet some boy to have sex. as far as i know, she's never had sex. she's actually a really good kid. gets good grades, behaves herself, talks to me about everything. people always tell me what a great kid she is. i was a terrible child. had oral sex at 9, lost my virginity at 12, everything else you can imagine before i turned 15. i know this is part of the reason i worry so much. my husband tells me i need to stop projecting my childhood onto her. i know this but i can't help it. how can i turn off these thoughts? maybe therapy?

Answer 1

you should know what she is doing at her friends house. ask the questions....a lot. Keep talking to her. Make sure that she is not falling into pressures. It's good for you to worry. She is to young to be out without you knowing exactly what they are doing....keep talking to her.

Answer 2

No there is nothing wrong worrying about your child.Especially when you know what you were doing at the age.My daughter is the same age and i done some pretty bad stuff at her age so yea i worry too.I just tell her i hope she makes right choices in her life and i tell her some of the things i done and how it turned out and i hope by my mistakes she can learn from them and hopefully not do the same.Believe me we know what we were doing at these kids ages and this day and time these kids are doing more and earlier its the way society his teaching them and i hate it.So yes we worry more and we should just let your daughter know you are there for her and she can tell you anything and never be scared to tell you a thing.Let her know even tho you are older you have experienced the same things and you know what she is going thru and that should help out alot.Good luck !

Answer 3

It's only natural to worry about what your child is doing when she is out. have you talked to her about your past and all of the things you have done and learned. If not that's where you need to start. You can't lock her aways because of a fear you have that she'll be like you that will only make the matter worse. i would be honest with her, let her know your concerns and that you are there for her when ever she needs you to be. But you also have to remember that everyone has top make their own mistakes and learn for things they themselves experience. As a mom you need to advise her to the best of your ability and hope she hears what you have to say and doesn't make the same mistakes that you did.

Answer 4

When my daughter was 13 or 14 and started going places on her own, I did about what you're doing. If she was out of my sight I worried about boys, drugs, booze, who was she in a car with, etc., all the way down to being run over crossing the street, non of which had anything to do with my misspent adolescence. It's just a matter of being concerned, and it gets better over time as you learn she always gets home in one piece, and her virtue in tact. You don't need therapy, you need to grit your teeth and have patience. If she's a well adjusted, responsible youngster, as you say she is, trust her a little.

Answer 5

Naw this is what you gotta do!You have to trust her ! I think that talking to her is a good idea and everything but you gotta do it in a respectful way! I am just a teen myself and I know how it feels not to be trusted ! You just gotta trust and believe her! Make sure you question, but in a respectful way , you gotta still let her know you trust her ! Does she know about your past or not if not let her know and kinda tell her that what you did isn't right and that you dont want her to make those same mistakes! How did you learn not to make the mistake you made again by doing it! So sometimes you gotta let her make her own mistakes!

Answer 6

I personally think you should talk to her,share your mistakes at your past with her and let her realize the danger of making the same mistakes you made.Tell her how you want to trust in her so much and how you want a better future for her.Make her realize the fact that she might be in control of her own life but she should think before making any drastic decisions.Make her realize why you worry about this things so that she wouldn't think you just don't trust her.
Hope that answers your question!!

Answer 7

YOU NEED TO BE MORE OPEN WITH HER TALK TO HER YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE DOSE OUT THERE SO IF YOU THINK SHE NOT HAVEING SEX YOUR WRONG SHE IS DOING IT !!!!!!!!!!! AND GO TO THE DOC AN GET HER ON THE PILL MOST GIRLS START ABOUT THE SAME TIME THERE MOTHER STARTED HAVEING SEX DONT THE REASON FOR THAT BUT IT TRUE SO IF YOU DONT WANT HER TO HAVE A KID GET HER ON THE PILL AND JUST TALK TO HER ABOUT LIFE AN TELL HER THE TRUE ABOUT ANY THING YOU CAN THINK OF ./.JERRY

Answer 8

Hey Mom!! Think you should lisson to the hubby,, from everything you said you have a good girl there, lighten up, you'll drive yourself crazy..Just because you were Wild, dont mean she's going to do it and sweety if she wanted to theres not a lot you could do to stop her (RIGHT) Cant keep her locked up 24/7.. Trust in the fact you and your husband did a good job with her and relax...Your friend from Tennessee...ROB

Answer 9

Talk to her about making the right choices and make sure you discuss sex. It might be embarassing but kids do listen. You should also trust her but know where she is going and what shes doing. Dont be afraid to ask, you're the parent.

Answer 10

You don't need therapy. You are just a concerned mother of a teenager.
Keep the lines of communication open between you and your daughter and relax.
More importantly, if you are telling us all these wonderful things about her~ you are a proud parent and she knows it.
Be pleased with yourself. Look how she's turned out. You've given her strength of character already...