We have been divorced a while and we both have new babies with other people and he still wants me to come back to him. how do I get him to back off because I have moved on?? I dont want to hurt his feelings because we have a child together also.
2006-08-22 08:58:15 · 21 answers · asked by Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to tell him that you have moved on. Maybe you should have your new husband answer the phone sometimes and let him know that you are busy with the kids and that he appreciates him calling but he might be calling to much.
2006-08-22 09:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Remind him of why you are "Ex's." Tell him in no uncertain terms that it "Ain't gonna happen." And be firm about it. He keeps calling because you keep leaving the door open...I have no idea what you are doing, but you are sending mixed signals and he is picking up on the positive side. You may have a child in common, but there comes a time when enough is enough...put your foot down firmly, leave him NO room for hope, and he will stop and move on. You can only be so nice before it becomes cruel...unintentional, but cruel just the same. Ask yourself if this is some kind of 'getting even" on your part...honestly. If it is, then ease off and set up the ground rules, stick to them. IF he continues, bring your husband into the act...let your ex know that your husband is on the other phone...that will give him clear signals that there is NO hope, period. I had a hanger-oner once, let my other half handle it...no one came to blows, but the other got the message loud and clear. Good luck
2006-08-22 09:18:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all keep thing sfreindly but make sure that you NEVER ever give him mixed sigals...if he is calling you like that then somehow he has the idea that he can get you back. Keep your conversations strictly about your child you share...and of course throw in tid bits about how great you and yoru new man are doing (nothing to obvious but enough to reinforce the fact that you have moved on) Happily ask him about his new girl and new baby and show him how content you are with the situation the way it is...I am ginign you the advice to be nonchalant about the whole thing to spare his feelings BUT if he keeps driving you nuts you will have to level with him and tell him that it is truly over.
2006-08-22 09:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by geet840 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurt his feelings? He obviously doesn't care about your feelings or he wouldn't put you in a position like that. Tell him you do NOT want him back. And not to call unless it is about the child you guys have together.
2006-08-22 09:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? If you are divorced and have new babies why is he still mentally screwed up enough to do this. And why are you falling for it and asking for help? I have an EX. They are an EX for a reason. Maybey you need a refresher course in hurt and pain.
2006-08-25 14:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by Sabrina the Adult Witch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really sad that he is with his new wife and still wants to be with you. He is telling you one big story to keep you around in case this woman disappoints him too. He's greedy, a liar and selfish to do this - and you should know that. He just wants to cover all bases so in case he needs to bounce back in your life, he can do it easily. Don't buy into that crap. Stop enabling him. When he calls, screen them and ignore. Only talk to him if you simply must. And think about birth control too so this doesn't happen again.
2006-08-22 09:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said in your own statement I quote:(I have moved on) so all parties needs to sit down and talk about this situation and come to a decision.
Now if you can't come to a agreement then you should get his call blocked from your service.
You will always love him but you've moved on.
2006-08-22 09:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by themaninsidethman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest. Tell him that you want to get along for the sake of the child but you don't want him back.
2006-08-22 09:23:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let your present beau know what the deal is and if you haven't already tell your ex that the feeling is not mutual, you've moved on and don't plan to go back...don't ever meet this guy alone or have a personal conversation without any witnesses because then it will really back fire on you...
2006-08-22 09:06:39 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_latina830 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have been divorced for awhile and you have a new baby? So you just slept with the first person you passed in the street? If he is causing trouble change your number. Then use birth control or show some self-control.
2006-08-22 09:05:19 · answer #10 · answered by doc 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋