years of trying to get pregnant only to find out that i have ovarian cancer and have to hava hysteroctomy?

Question

i'm only 22....
my husband and i have been together for 6 years. married for 2, and we tried to start a family and with no luck i sought out a doctors opnion. and found cancer. i had regular pap's done from age 16-20, then they told me that i could come every 3 years because they always came back clear. NOW I HAVE CANCER. AND MY SECOND OPNION TELLS ME THAT I HAVE TO HAVE A HYSTEROCTOMY!!! i don't feel like life is worth living now. i wanted more then anything in the world to have my own children. will this pain grow stronger or lessen after i have my surgery?

Answer 1

I hope you're going to check with additional doctors whether this is absolutely necessary... I recently read a story of a young woman who had a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis & it turned out that her uterus was fine. Don't go ahead with it until you're convinced that it is the right choice.

Be strong & pls visit infertility support websites like fertilitystories..

Answer 2

I feel so sorry for you. That is a horrible thing to find out. Kill the person (not really) that told you that every three years is acceptable, it's not. Even a perfectly healthy woman can develop problems, cysts, fibroids, and you got the worst one, cancer.

It will probably get worse before it gets better. The pain will lessen with time, but I doubt it will ever fully go away.

Talk to your husband about options. You can adopt, you can have eggs removed (if the cancer is in your uterus not the ovaries) and do an implant into a surrogate mother, or another woman's eggs for the procedure if you can't use yours. You would still have a child to raise, even if it wasn't your blood. When you and your husband figure out what you want to try, talk to your doctor for recommendations and your limitations. Also get a referral to good fertilization clinics and family adoption agencies.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

First off, I'm very sorry to hear that. I will keep you in my prayers. I think having the hysterectomy is the best thing to do if you don't want the cancer to spread. It's tough knowing you won't ever have children of your own. Have you considered a surrogate? Not sure if this is possible but maybe they could take your husband's sperm and your egg and have someone carry the baby for you. You wouldn't get to be pregnant, but it would still be your own child. If all else fails, you can always adopt. No matter how you feel now, I'm sure you would love an adopted child as your own. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

So sorry to hear about that diagnosis. What I would say to my own daughter's is to get a 3rd opinion to see if you have to get a complete hysterectomy. If so, why don't you talk to your doctor about the possibility of harvesting some of your eggs so that when you are ready you will still have the option of having children. Your first priority has to be getting healthy and even if there is absolutely no possibility of having your own biological children you can be a blessing to other children who are in need of adoption. It won't matter so much how the child comes to you once you realize that they all need a mothers love.

Answer 5

I have know idea how painful this must be for you and I'm very sorry. I wish I could say life is fair but obviously it is not there are so many unfit parents out here who have children and really don't deserve to have them. Don't get discouraged maybe you have other options like maybe A family member can carry A baby for you using your eggs and husbands sperm I really don't know much about that just throwing it out there. God Bless.

Answer 6

Don't be discouraged there are many blessing in store for you. Life is worth living everyday. and don't , don't don't let a MD tell you you'll never do something, if you want a baby of you own it is possible by so many means you can harvest eggs now before your op, you may not be able to physically carry this baby but s/he is already in your heart you can adopt you can even have a friend family member carry the baby for you. you should call cancer treatment centers of America and see if they can give you any info. it may seem like a dark time but believe me please although i haven't walked in your shoes we all have to walk through a dark valley before we get to the brighter side of the mountain. seek (spiritual) counseling for the situation together, but don't stop living ...

Answer 7

You will most certainly have to work through these feelings. There are support groups like Resolve for couples who have gone through infertility problems. I will tell you (from experience) that your feelings will last for a while. I am now an adoptive mother of two children who I consider very much "my own", and now I can tell you that the feelings are totally gone and I do not care how I got my children, they are so mine. I wish you the best.

Answer 8

I feel so bad for you. I too had cancer but I had Cervical cancer. I feel after some time and you come to realize that you can't have kids you'll get used to the fact. Have you thought about having some of your eggs extracted and your husband's sperm and and you could have someone else carry your baby for you???? VERY COSTLY - BUT, IT'S AN OPTION.

Answer 9

Ask the Dr. if you can freeze your eggs, there's a lot of families that need help with their kids maybe you can become a nanny.

Answer 10

Give it to God honey. Thats the best thing i can tell you