dealing with the pain?

Question

I recently found out that my dad has been sleeping with whores over the past 7 yrs.it was the worst shock of my life since he's been a loving & caring dad and has 40 yrs of a solid relationship with my mom.i found viagra among many other medication to help him sustain an erection,gifts he buys for the women and dirty ms gs on his cellphone.he owns 3 app. in different areas where he meets them every single day even though he's a very busy man. how do i deal with the shock,pain and anger inside of me? how do i help my mom who's totally devastated and his indifference seems to be killing her.
i'm also divorced with a 9 yr/o daughter who considers him her true father fig. and looks up to him.

Answer 1

This is a tough one.
Can you talk to him about it and get the full story?
Perhaps there is some perspective to this that we are not grasping?

Answer 2

This situation is more common than we think. Something like this is very devastating for everyone, there are no really right or wrong way of dealing with this. After 40 years, he will not divorce or leave mom because he simply cannot live without her but the thing is, even though he and your mom might be having sex from time to time, he wants something fun and different that mom may not be able to give him at this time of her life. It's hurtful, but maybe what you need to do as a family, is to have a family meeting and everyone share their feelings (or even try some councelling by a professional). You also need to let dad know that this ain't the 1960s, there are alot more diseases that we have to contend with nowadays, so becareful of what he's taking home and is it worth throwing 40 years away.

Answer 3

hmm this seems a bit odd esepcially that he could pull off doing this at his age does he know you know? I'd sugest it's time to take charge over him he's having problems you need to take the garbage stuff away from him medicine phone etc which can easily be done by calling his doctor and try to stop his contact with these whores get him to seek mental help to get over this disgusting problem that took over his mind whether he could help it or not possibly stop his cash flow maybe get him away from this disgusitng place by moving or something he needs to see he's lost it if your angry you may also need to seek some help with a pschiatrist over this someyhing lighter then your father needs obviously to help take the stress off and get through your problems although no one can blame you.You must be strong and try to help your mother and daughter she should look up to you not him you may be living to much in his shadow or using him to much to fill in the areas you arn't as good with all people can loose it over something try to keep this as stable as possible instead of yelling and agueing and posisbly everyone leaving and hating each other forever do whatever it takesh im to stop buying gifts seeing them even if it takes getting the law system to claim he's to old to drive or to mentally unstable to handle his money and take over or have somone take over it and hopefully you and the psychiatrsit/shrink can try to help him be true to his wife again
although these things don't always work out perfectly there's still something worth trying for you need to try to get him to see a psychiatrist/shrink no matter what and stop him even if it takes staying with him with alot of your free time if there's a chance it can be made right

Answer 4

Just because he has been doing these things with other women, that doesn't change the fact that he was a good father to you. His love for you has nothing to do with what he's been doing. I think that you need to talk to him about his behavior and just be there for your mother all you can.

Answer 5

you could come to arkansas and marry me and we'll put it all behind us and start a new life rite here and live happily ever after

Answer 6

damn i feel hella bad for you im sorry that you have to go through pain like that im speechless i really dont know what to say to you. im sorry good luck.