We separated 3.5 yrs ago, neither one of us can afford a divorce right now, and there is no chance of reconciliiation. But some of the people that I have dated in the meantime have a hard time with the fact that we are still really good friends and try to help each other out. Is there a way that I can get around this, or is it not my crap to contend with? The divorce is imminent, but like I said, not financially possible right now.
2006-08-22 08:23:05 · 23 answers · asked by tat2jug 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
part of the reason why we cannot afford to do so, is because of my current financial situation. I don't want to stick her with things that are not her problem, but we have looked and if we do, than she will be responsible for some of them.
2006-08-22 08:55:53 · update #1
I totally understand your side of the sstory. My husband and I have not been together since April of 2002. We have 2 kids out of our marriage, but we can't afford the cost of a divorce either. The way I figure it, I am completley honest with the guys I start dating and tell them up front that I am still "legally married" but we haven't been with each other for 4 years. We get along great and, due to the fact that we have kids, I wouldn't change a thing. Legal Aid does not work in divorce cases when children are invovled. I figure one of these days we will get an official divorce, when we get around to it. I haven't heard any laws saying this is illegal. I don't plan on gettingmarried again, so whats the big deal of getting the divorce? I can't think of any.
2006-08-22 11:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by dragonfly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound like my boyfriend i have been with him almost 3 years and he is still married due to he cant afford a divorce and i will not give him the money for it.He got into that mess he can get out,HIs wife hates him tho she hasnt spoken 2 words since the split,to me he trys to avoid it he claims he isnt but i know he has had the money we fight about it alot.We have a 8 month old son 2 now and im ready to get married but he keeps finding excuses that he cant afford it,thats all bull and im sure yours is all bull 2.I dont blame other girls you have dated no girl likes to be with a guy when he is still attatched to another women.HIs wife has paid for the divorce but he needs a lawyer to fight cause he dont agree to what she is demanding so he hires lawyers then fires them so he can keep it going and going im just so glad that next month its over no more trying everything in the book to stop his divorce his wife has been trying for a year and a half he claims he wants it and he would be very happy but his actions speak different .So i look at you like i do him if you really wanted divorced you wouldnt be using i cant afford it, is just a copout to me.And you being friends with her why are you in the first place?Are you wanting her back and she just dont want you .what is your real deal ?you sound as if you could care less either way.You need to get a divorce its been long enough you 2 arent getting back tog so go on with your life my god move on!!!!!!!!!!!ANd dont date a single girl till you do maybe then you might move faster.Good luck!!
2006-08-22 15:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the divorce isn't going to cost you anymore than the filing fees. You sound as though you and your ex have a good relationship, use it to your advantage. Work out your arrangement ahead of time regarding the finances and property, then download the paperwork for filing off the internet (your state will have a free download website...they all do), then pay the filing fee, get a court date, show up and as long as neither one of you contest....ta da...you're divorced. Yes, it's that simple when everyone agrees...it's also cheaper to do than everyone thinks. The cost is only about $50 for the filing fee and instead of hiring a process server, alot of times certified mail is good enough. If it's going to stop arguments, borrow it from someone and get this done and over with.
As for everyone else, I'd ignore them and their thoughts. It says something about two people who can remain civil, even friends, after ending a marriage. It means you are both mature enough to admit it didn't work for you, and you are smart enough to not take it personally. They are just jealous...not many people have that going for them.
2006-08-22 15:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending upon which state you live in...
I believe some lawyers will handle a uncontested divorce for an affordable fee and some will even adjust to a payment plan.
Also keeping in mind your state, you may want to be wary of settlement and properties... if you're married over a certain length of time (like 10 years) your retirement account could be considered as an asset or property and could be claimed as such in court by your 'wife'.
2006-08-22 15:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have money to date, I'm sure that you have $ 700 to pay a lawyer for an uncontested divorce.
You don't understand why women are upset that you keep a relationship with your wife??? Because you are not free to offer a decent lady a relationship if you are still legally bonded to someone else... hello? You are the one that seems not to understand by thinking that this is acceptable.
I don't understand how these women still date you if you are still married and making excuses not to get a divorce.
See it as an investment. It's so worth it and you will no longer have to give explanations to anyone if you are divorced.
Good luck
2006-08-22 15:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was seperated from my husband for 7 years before I got the divorce finalized. Partly because everytime I said the D word, he would freak and I could not afford the court costs. In Nevada I was able to claim forma popauras (incorrect spelling), which is a legal term for saying you have no money for court costs. Check with your state, your courthouse should have a self help center, they can guide you to the right documents.
2006-08-22 15:44:24 · answer #6 · answered by impatientone_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right that's not your problem that's there. It's nothing wrong with being friends and you two are not getting back together. So get the divorce when you are financially ready. That's what I'm doing. So I hear you.
2006-08-22 15:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on maintaining a good relationship with your soon to be ex. I say if you just want a divorce do a search for nevada divorce, you can get a divorce for about $1000 and pay half to start and half to finish. Its easy, quick and not that expensive. Good luck.
2006-08-22 15:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one an uncontested divorce isn't that much. It is gonna be hard to find a woman who doesn't mind you still being friends with your ex. If my husband was friends with his ex I would have a problem with it. I'm not saying that you should hate her, but if you get in a relationship with another woman it is best that your ex not be in the picture.
2006-08-22 15:34:20 · answer #9 · answered by Kelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your living apart and you both are supporting yourselves. Save some money and get the divorce. Go dutch on it and get an uncontested divorce.
Saying not enough money is either a cop out or you both really don't want a divorce.
Move on and get it.
2006-08-22 15:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋