I brought her to a childish place on her birthday, I was thinking since she mentioned she has not been to the zoo before and would like to go it would make a good birthday present. It turns out that the driving was long, rough, and exhausting. Then her feet were tired from walking around in the zoo. When we got home she was upset that, that was all; so I could not continue the romantic part. I didn't get a tangible gift for her. The only excuse I have is no money to buy the things I know she wants, but I could have grabbed the bulls by the horn and make things work if I was stronger and less selfish.
I really messed up after I disappeared for 3 days and turned my phone off. I could have sworn she didn't want me anymore, but that was my mind playing tricks on me.
I need to know what to do. I'm broke, I can't sing, dance, or write a good apology.
She is at work as I write this. If you have never messed up in a relationship please mention that when answering. No abuse please.
2006-08-22 08:00:59 · 61 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Three orgasms should do the trick
2006-08-22 08:05:31 · answer #1 · answered by VTGunz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to being a guy. I remember one particular situation I took a friend to a botanical garden. It turned out much the same, though she was more polite. I think I blew that first impression, but I eventually contacted her and we (as friends) laugh about it.
With a girlfriend, you already have a foundation. Sounds like you meant well and nobody should blame you for hiding after the response you got. However badly it went, you didn't deserve a "that's it?".
Now that a few days have passed, decide if you want this relationship to continue. You can be honest with a friend and express your intentions and disappointment -- let her know you wanted it to be special and know it was a disaster. Don't even mention being broke or wanting to do more! Just get a $5 boquet at the grocery store and go to her, apologizing for checking out the past few days and be vulnerable.
She'll pick up from there. If she loves you, this will be water under the bridge (it may take a week or two though). Otherwise, hard situations reveal our character. Move on and enjoy.
2006-08-22 08:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by Michael R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write what you said right here. Tell her the truth. Tell her how you didn't have any money and wanted to get her something good but couldn't. Tell her how you thought the two of you spending time together at the zoo would be a nice thing and you're sorry it turned out she didn't like it. Tell her that you stayed away from her because you felt a bit ashamed, a bit like a heel and figured why would she want to bother with a loser like you (I'm not calling you a loser, but it sounds like that's the way you felt, so tell her that). Tell her you want to make it up to her, that you're not sure how, since you're broke but if she wants to give you a second chance, to give you a call (and answer the damn phone!!!). If she really likes you and is not a materialistic bytch, she'll read that and understand. But be prepared to take the heat. Let her yell at you for a while about how you ****** up. She needs to get it off her chest and you need to sit there and take it with no excuses. Granted, the worse can happen; she can say she doesn't want to be with you. If that happens, move on and don't grovel. But if she decides to stay with you, you're got to regain her affection. Save up some cash and get her something good. Do it unexpectedly, it'll be a better surprise. In the meantine, do whatever you can for her within your financial means.
2006-08-22 08:13:04 · answer #3 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You messed up big time. Just tell her that you are sorry and that you thought you guys were through when you messed up her birthday. It was really dumb of you to run off for 3 days, but you panicked. You didn't know what else to do because you were embarrassed that you couldn't get her what she wanted. You thought that you would try to be romantic and take her to the zoo that she had mentioned about. (Which that was very romantic points to you for that.) Whatever you do take all the blame. Then ask her for another chance to make things right. After taking all of the blame she won't have anything to fault you for and all she will be able to do is agree. Then you can earn points for being man enough to admit to your faults. It wouldn't hurt to bring flowers and a card. Maybe some chocolate. I would suggest that you borrow money and buy her a necklace. If you can't then flowers and a card will do.
2006-08-26 07:05:36 · answer #4 · answered by strawberries_r_cream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all with all presents it's the thought that counts it sounds like she is a little materialistic.
Going to the zoo was a good idea, but maybe you should have thought more to what she would be interested in.
Now, as far as being broke hey we all are for the most part.
But you can find in Cosmo (or look it up online) good ways to have a good low budget weekend. You can start by blind folding her and feeding her different foods, massages, pamper her yourself. And you don't have to spend a lot of money....
My b/f for holidays since we were broke moving we made gifts for each other eventhough it sounds corny I will keep that card forever! And I will also remember the cookies he made me. My gift may not last forever but I will always remember it.... At least also you made a good attempt some men I know wouldn't even do that.
Good Luck!
2006-08-22 08:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a talk with her. Let her know that the zoo was something you thought she would love for her birthday since she had mentioned it before and since money was tight. Tell her that after she was in pain and you both were tired you felt bad that you had screwed up and didnt want to approach her romantically cause it didnt seem appropiate at the time. tell her you realize how immature it was for you not be reachable for a few days afterward but you were nervious about her reaction toward you. And since the money situation had not improved yet you didnt know how you could make it up to her.
Let her know that you love her and she deserves so much more then what you were able to do at the time but that you tried in your own way.
Now on another note... Money should not be the deciding factor of a relationship and special occations. Long walks, long talks, romantic sunsets. Backrubs. All are free. Yes even a day at the zoo. Dont think you have to spend a lot of money on someone for them to love you. If they require that you need to be rich or move on to someone who enjoys you for who you are regardless.
Kathy
2006-08-22 08:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by c2god2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not having money was not a problem at least in my eyes some one understanding would have understood that. But she seems materialistic. Heck i love the zoo been begging my boy friend to take me for a while. Where you messed up was disappearing for 3 days. thats just rediculous.
What was important was you being there for her birthday and spending time together not how much money you could have spent on her.
Once my boy friend took me to the zoo for my birthday (just where i asked to go) he did not want to go, and he had a horrible attitude and upset me to the point of crying. And just ruined my whole day. Your girl friend is too materialistic and needs to appreciate the simple things in life. But the 3 days thing i cant get over eh! no forgiveness for that.
2006-08-22 08:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by candylishus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah buddy... I've messed up plenty of times. But I will say this. I have learned that if she really cares about you she will understand the tangible gifts. I mean, sure you can't go through a relationship without ever buying her something, weither it be a nice dinner or just an arrangement of roses. But you know, you hit hard times and just run out of cash. She should understand that, cause it just happens. As for turning your phone off and avoiding her for 3 days, I don't know why you did that. Man, don't ever play that game. I read what you wrote and I have a feeling there is more to it. But if she isn't a "princess" or a "daddy's little girl" who gets everything she wants all the time... you'll be alright, just give her time to cool out and just talk about it.
2006-08-22 08:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by mavrickatasu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry hun im here. Make her a belated b-day card write her a poem (no matter if it sucks beond all belief she will love it) then give her a hung and a kiss then tell her how much you care for her then say mabe we should have went to the zoo another day im sorry it turned out so horrible i thought it would be a nice surrprise but it went so wrong that i got scared and thats why i didnt talk to you for three days i realy am sorry baby and if there is anything i could do to make it up to you please let me know
She will love it plus she will now know that she did nothing wrong
good luck
2006-08-22 08:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by elmo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU admitted you messed up... If you still want this girl then the best thing to do is apologize profusely...Tell her that you weren't yourself and that you felt terrible about everything...Tell her that you will take this experience as a lesson and never repeat it again....If she tells you off or goes into a rant about how upset she is at your incompetence then simply just take it like a man... She's basically just venting....Agree with her...COntinue to say you're sorry...Continue to tell her that it won't happen again....
As far as redeeming yourself for the bad birthday idea...try at least getting her a birthday card and writing out your feelings for her on it...get ideas from the internet...make her a mix CD of love songs....you don't have to have money to be romantic.
2006-08-22 08:13:42 · answer #10 · answered by larceny'sghost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great her at the door when she comes home with a candle lit dinner. Kiss her when she walks in the door and then escort her to the table and pull out her chair for her. If you can, make her favorite meal and see if you can get ahold of some wine or whatever she likes to drink. Oh yeah, from the time she comes home, you should be in your birthday suit.
Kinda hard to 'make-up' without money- cause a dozen red roses would compliment this plan very well. Are there any kind of flowers around that you can pick for free? (don't do that in your b-day suit though) heh-heh
Good luck!!!!!
2006-08-22 08:11:59 · answer #11 · answered by Coo coo achoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋