Daddy with custody Q?

Question

I currently have custody of our 3 daughters. Well, my ex was ordered to pay child support. And she has only paid like $200. She is not holding a job but has remarried since our divorce a year ago. Now she is trying to get full custody of our daughters. She filed an emergancy change in custody through the courts. Allof the things that she placed in the EC of C is bogus stuff. I know the only reason as to why she is doing this is so she doesn't want to pay me the child support and I have been persuing this actively in court. My question is how likely is it that the judge may rule in her favor? I have heard that once custody is set that it is near impossible to change it. Is this true?

Im not really worried about the actual child support. As I have been financially providing for them for a year now. Its just kinda of a princple thing towarsds her and how she always trys to dodge out of everything not just child support.

The only reason that I went for full custody is because a neighbor said i was doing wrong by taking the kids away from thier mother. Then a month later that same neighbor said that I must get custody of the kids because she was getting who ever to watch the kids for her so she could spend time with her boyfriend and not putting the kids first.
I got custody because I had a stable home and she didn't. Plus she directly violated a order by the judge to where the parent is not to have over night guest of opposite sex while the children are in their care. She was living with her boyfriend at the time. This is why I say the claims are bogus because no sh is say that I do the same, but I have only dated one person sine the divorce and the kids never met her.

I have had the same lawyer as I have been dealing with this for over a year now.

Answer 1

That is what I have heard as well. Plus the not paying child support obviously doesn't look good on her.

Thank goodness for good fathers like you and me.

Answer 2

I wish I could tell you that was true, but unfortunately it's not. Take nothing for granted. Alot of circumstances can play into this such as the children's wishes, they schooling, her lifestyle, your lifestyle, their basic needs being met, etc. It's a long process and just because she filed an emergency hearing and will get her motion heard a little quicker, chances are she's banking on the courts awarding her placement before school resumes. That, I can tell you is NOT going to happen. If she made accusations, all those have to be investigated first. Which means you will have the social workers back involved, the guardian adlitem will be brought back in, etc. By this time, school will already be in session and they aren't going to remove the children from your care in the middle of the school year unless there is truth to the accusations. The courts will also see through her idea of not paying child support. You can't come into court with dirty hands(tons of arrears) and expect to win...it doesn't work that way. I wish you luck!

Answer 3

Yes. Basically, the best interest of the child is always the chief point of custody and the fact you were granted it by the court speaks for itself.

The court will also see whether child support is influencing the issue of custody.

You are in a better position to keep custody if you have been doing a good job while kids are under your care than someone who lost custody.

Again, the court will weigh what's in the best interest of the child and since you already have obtained or was granted custody you should have a very strong case for keeping custody good luck.

Answer 4

First ,off you would never had gotten custody for something as simple as a sleepover guest..somthing tells me there is more to it than that just your senario. As far as a emergency custody order dont worry cause she would have to straighten her life out and be able to prove it in the court before they would even consider letting her have the kids back. Second, if she does get them back and she could if she straightens out then so be it she has done whats needed to prove to the court that she is a decent mom. My advice to you is to keep her visits limited and dont let her have them as much as you do, or else there is strike one. The court will always take that into consideration when deciding a custody battle. Third ,get a lawyer and keep the kids out of it persue the support as she should pay for the kids she loves so much. If she doesnt pay persue, persue, persue dont give up keep going and file contempt she will either pay or go to jail...Good luck

Answer 5

There are so many factors. It all boils down to the judge. Do you have permanent custody or temporary. Joint or sole? She doesn't have a job or a place to live.
There is a reason why you have custody in the first place. On what grounds has she requested an emergency change? Not paying child support is a contempt of court I would think. I wish you luck, I know this is emotionally heart wenching

Answer 6

I am not an expert on this subject, but I have also heard it is hard for custody to be changed as your children are used to living with you. Why was custody given to you in the first place? It is hard for a woman to lose custody of her kids to begin with unless she is into drugs, alcohol, or just plain unfit. Has she been seeing your daughters on a regular basis since the original custody agreement? Even if custody is changed over, she would still owe you the back child support. Not likely it will be, especially since she hasn't been paying all along. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I've included two websites that should help...

I think that in order for a custody order to change, there must include a "tremendous change of events"... something like your ex hit the lottery, or you've become a major heroin dealer. The fact that she married again will have some consideration, but alone not enough to sway a judge.

Your daughters (if old enough) can also indicate who they would prefer to live with.

Do obtain an attorney and within your rebuttal to her custody filing, mention the child support she has neglected to pay...

http://www.dadsdivorce.com/
http://www.dadsrights.org/

Answer 8

I don't know how the judge will view things. Sometimes it seems like folks assume that a child needs its mother - especially daughters. So unfair as it may seem, you might want to go ahead and start thinking of how to present your side.

First of all, it doesn't speak well of her "maternal instinct" that she has almost completely blown off her child support obligation. Keep good records of that, for sure. Also if she isn't taking advantage of the visitation she is entitled to, it wouldn't hurt to keep notes on when she does or doesn't see the girls. (Don't know if that is relevant in your case...)

I don't know what dirt she is claiming to have on you, but if her claims are bogus and there are ways you can prove that (witnesses or some kind of documentation) - do!

Good luck to you and your daughters. I hope that the court recognizes that you have the girls for the right reason and she wants them for the wrong reason.

Answer 9

it is very true and let me tell you I know first hand because I have two male friend with full custody of their children. a big misconception these days is that the mother can get away with murder and get custody of the kids because she is the mother and that couldn't be further from the truth. trust me when I say that these judges weren't born yesterday and they hear these cases and bogus charges every day so don't worry that your ex will just swoop in and pull the wool over their eyes. if you were granted at any time full, permanent custody then they only way she will be able to get it "reversed" is to prove you unfit. Assuming that you are a good law abiding citizen then its very hard to do. I know its hard but don't worry. The only way she can get them is to prove you unfit so as long as you don't start selling drugs and running hookers out of the house you are fine....lol I don't mean to make light of your situation but seriously that would be about what you would have to do to lose.

Answer 10

Depends on the state, but usually judges are very hesitant to amend custody orders unless there's compelling evidence to indicate they should be changed. Keep your nose clean, do everything you need to in order to comply with any and all court rulings, and if she's not, then the judge will see that, and rule accordingly. Unfortunately, the way our legal system is set up in the US, you can file a lawsuit alleging pretty much anything, however, proving it is usually another matter. Good attorneys won't file such suits, but not all lawyers are good attorneys. Best of luck to you and your 3 girls!

Answer 11

You have got to remain calm and take notes on all visitation issues and log it down with facts. When possible get third party witness statements for your behalf. If your divorce decree specified certain provisions for child support etc. then use this to your advantage. Since you have full custody now you should be in the clear but be on the safeguard for tricks from your ex cause the need for greed is always there too. Make sure you behave yourself and not jeopardize your children too...what I mean be careful what you say and do in front of your children cause she can persuade them to do things for her. The judge has to find just cause or threat to the children in order for him to rule against you. Just be very cautious because women get very emotional and dramatic too . Good luck buddy....im divorced with 2 children with joint custody so I understand!!